Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Tears

(The above pic is from 2007...i don't have very many nice recent pics of Nephi because he HATES having his pictures taken. He literally runs from the camera.)

I am sad today.
my baby ...a.k.a....oldest child, Nephi, turned 13 yesterday. I can't believe it. How dare he grow up!!!!..just yesterday he was a teeny tiny baby that was born 4 months premature,fought for his life after heart surgery, and beat the odds when he lived with no preemie side effects.
Here's how it went.
His father was very abusive. And me being pregnant did not make a difference in how violent he was. I will spare you the gruesome details of all that though. Those who were around me at the time know what I am talking about. I, too, am lucky to be alive. I don't think I have to tell you how I went into premature labor. Basically if you are thinking the worst,you are right.

I was very young,just 18 at the time. I had not been to prenatal classes yet,or read any books on pregnancy. I was estranged from my family at the time and had no one to tell me what to expect. No one to tell me what to read or how to prepare. I had no idea there was even such a thing as premature labor.
I went into labor in my 16th week.I was in labor for 3 days. By the 3rd day the pain was so bad that I could not walk and all I could do was lay in bed sceaming from the pain. The reason it went on for 3 days was because Nephi's dad refused to take me to the hospital. ( he was mad at me for missing work).When he finally did, the doctor said we needed to deliver now. Huh? what!!??? I had no idea what he was talking about. I went into it blind in the sense that I had NO idea what was going on. Nephi was out in about 5 minutes. He had been in the birth canal for at least 2 days ,So he was black and blue. His skin was transparent, and he did not even have real fingernails yet. He weighed under 2 pounds. The doctor told me to not get my hopes up because he only had a 5 percent chance of surviving. Despite all the turmoil in my life at the time I was still as active in church as I could be. And at that moment I felt no fear,just comfort and without thinking I told the doctor "NO, he will live". The medical staff was hesitant but went ahead and got to work on him. They put him in a bed of tinfoil and saran wrap...to simulate the warm womb I guess. They needed to keep him heated. He had tubes coming out of...everywhere!!!His lungs were not fully developed so he could not cry,or breathe on his own but he could move his arms and legs. He was alive and I had no idea yet what a miracle it was that he lived. I am still trying to process all that 13 years later!!! He was given a blessing by my father in law at the time and some other priesthood in the ward. He was then ailrlifted to Foothills hospital in calgary and that was Nephi's home and Mine for the next 4 months. I lived in a hostel,in a little room all by myself and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I did not have very many visitors and I was lonely and depressed. not to mention I was still a teenager so I did not fully understand everything that was going on or the seriousness of it. The medical talk was all foreign to me and nobody tried to help me understand. One Foreign doctor even tried to get me to hand over my baby for experimental blood transfusions!! Thankfully I had at least enough sense to tell him to back off. I really had no support system there with me but we got through it. Heavenly Father carried me through those horrible months and watched over my son, and he lived. He had heart surgery shortly before he was old enough to come home, and other than that has had no health problems at all. Preemies have to go to the doctor for frequent check ups every few months. The doctors were always amazed at how he pulled through with no health problems. They would call in the rest of the staff and say "come look at this baby. Can you believe this!??" I would just smile to myself becausae I knew exactly how it was possible. The Priesthood is real and it is healing,even when it is not humanly or scientifically or medically possible,when it is the Lords will. And Like I said before, i am still processing everything that happened. But I do know that I am so so thankful that I was in tune with the spirit enough to tell the doctors to please not give up. the fact that I was immediately comforted tells me that my son was meant to live. He has a purpose here on this earth today.I believe there were angels in the delivery room that day...
Nephi is very smart. He is a sience guy. Not into sports. he can tell me the inner workings of any comuter,tv,or electronic device and it is completely over my head. He's smart. He reads his scriptures without me reminding him. 2 chapters every night. Thats more than I read, I am ashamed to admit.
I can't believe he is 13. A teenager. I am not ready for the teen angst and rebellion. Hopefully with him there will be none of that. He's too good a kid. He's too special. It makes me sad because I want my kids to stay little. We haven't even been to Disneyworld yet!!!
My kids are growing up. Too fast. Time does not last long enough.
I will add a picture later when I get to the other computer..so be sure to check back,Nephi's a handsome one!!!

(oh, and for the record, I did leave the abusive monster,but thats another long story....And i am happily married now as you all know, to a perfect man. For real. He's perfect.)

7 comments:

April said...

He is going to love reading all about himself one day ... thirteen is big! I can remember so much about that time in my life. Scary to think that these kids are going to remember how much we are messing them up from here on out.

devri said...

Man, I don't want 13 to come for my girls, Oh the drama it will be...

ps, the french braiding video is up!!!

Natalie said...

Wow, what an amazing story. The Priesthood is such a blessing and the Lord obviously has a special purpose for Nephi. I'm so glad you are able to have happiness now!

Holly said...

First of all Happy birthday to Nephi!!!! I am sitting here in tears. The horror you went through makes me so sad. But through it all Heavenly Father was watching over you and Nephi, how awesome!! I am amazed and filled with joy over the power of the priesthood and the strength your Nephi has had since birth.
I would like to see then and now pictures of him.

Karen said...

Chantal...oh my goodness! What a horrible thing to go through! You were certainly blessed. And undoubtably Nephi has a purpose in this life. Congrats to you for being strong enough to make it through that and the past 13 years! Glad to hear you are happy now, with a great hubby.

Cookie said...

OMG! I had no idea. I'm glad something so wonderful could come from such a horrible situation.

Rita said...

Well I am horribly late reading this -- but happy, happy belated birthday to your very handsome teenager!

What a terrible ordeal you had to go through Chantal, but Nephi is proof that something wonderful can come from suffering.

God bless you all -- I am so pleased to know you are now in a marriage to a much better man! :)