Monday, July 14, 2008

pavlov's dog

Well, more like me, and walmart.
ok, first I need to back track to about 4 years ago. I was sick that day,had just dropped my kids off at school and my moms. I was debating on wether or not I needed to go to work. I finally decided to stay home. So on my way home I figured I would stop at walmart since it was on the way and there was a few things I really needed. I really did not feel well. I was sick to my stomach, i had cramps,and my head hurt. my stomach started to really really hurt bad. I figured I had some gas coming on,and just went about my business. Since I was in Walmart,might as well browse,right? I ended up with some bad gas, but figured I was ok since that particular walmart was not very busy at 8am.
now, lets just say that what I assumed to be gas was not.
I found this out because I had to pee,so I went to the bathroom.
What I thought was gas was actually diarrea.
I didnt know what to do. I lived close enough to my moms(the school was right accross the road from my moms) that to take the kids over I would just hop on the bus and then walk home. Like on this day,except I stopped at walmart. So you see I had a dilemma. DO I take the bus? People might smell me. Do I call a cab? The cab diver would definitely smell me. Walk home? not too far,and nobody would smell me. But I may get more "gas" on the way home. hmmm. I ended up walking. I of course paid for my purchases,hoping and praying and begging the Lord that no one would smell me while i was checking out. Got home and was so embarrassed that it was awhile before I went to that walmart again.

ok, so the reason for this backtrack,is that everytime I have gone to walmart since then, I end up having to use the bathroom.
This has caused chris to nickname me "stinky".

On friday night Chris's parents took us out to eat,then they took the kids home with them and Chris and I went to Walmart. We were browsing the toys when all of a sudden my stomach hurt. Like it did that one time.
I ended up with bad gas. that is when I had total flashback of that first bad gas day in walmart. So I gave Chris the cart and ran to the bathroom. Of course,the bathroom was ALL THE WAY ACCROSS THE STORE. And we were in the BIG supercenter walmart. It was a looonnnng walk. I made it just in time. It never fails to find me in Walmart. Never at target,never at the dollar store,Goody's or Food Lion. Walmart. It was terrible. And I hate using public bathrooms. Because they are never clean. Oh, it was awful. I dont know how long I was in there,but I was praying that no one who saw me come out saw me going in. Because the bathrooms are right in front of the checkout counters. Chris ended up coming to look for me,wondering what was going on. I may find a new place to shop. Target sounds good.


Embury said...

OMG! That's really embarrassing. I can't believe I've never heard this story before... And it totally sucks that this all happened in Walmart. Walmart has the worst bathrooms ever. I have yet to enter a bathroom as bad and dirty and Walmart's. I guess dirty bathrooms are their trademark (lol).

Embury (again) said...

Just in case you find my second last sentence perplexing, the "and" between "dirty" and "Walmart's" should actually be "as".