I haven't said much on this topic except for one random Facebook status awhile back...I was excited at the time but was cautioned to "proceed carefully". That was around 6 months ago. SO. For the past 6 months I have been thinking. Deeply thinking. Have not proceeded. But I am ready to write about it.
With the help of some extended family members, I have been searching actively for my bio-Dad for about 10 years now. I have always been curious and tried to find info here and there but the real active search has been on for a decade. Wow. ...
.ok and wait. Little insert here: no, my mother has not volunteered any info. She stands her ground firmly that she "does not remember". And no, I am not writing this to hurt anyone. .....
Ok. So anyways, we would come up with little tidbits here and there. Unfortunately my birth records are sealed because when my mom married my step Dad he adopted me. And I don't like referring to him as my step dad because he is the only father I have ever known and so from here on out he will be referred to simply as my dad.
I won't bore you with details, and it's better that way because I need to respect the privacy of certain parties involved.
Basically, my Grandmother had taken any info on this to the grave with her ( or so we thought). I don't know why it never dawned on me to ask her for info while she was alive. I could kick myself for that. Some may think it strange that given my "chaotic history" she would not just straight out tell me. But that is how she was. Anyone who knew her the way I did would know that it is just not in her nature to let the cat out of the bag unless asked to. Unless someone was in danger of course.
So, awhile back someone spilled the beans. Turns out she confided in one of my great aunts many years ago. As soon as I heard the name I just about peed myself. A similar name had been mentioned by this same aunt to my uncle a few years ago but somehow in relaying the name to me, it got "edited". You know how that happens. You know the telephone game when you pass along a phrase and by the time it reaches the end it is totally different?? Ya, kind of like that. So this past time it was relayed correctly and the pieces came together and there it was. I knew my answer. I have known this person most of my life. I have seen him in passing and even said hi, and probably other things which I cannot remember. I know his other children, although not very well. That is of course if the info is correct. There is a reason I think it is, which may be all the proof I need, aside from a DNA test , if I decide to pursue this.
Enter excitement. I emailed some of my most trustworthy friends and family immediately.
Then came the questions. .....what do I do with this? I cold email him, should I? How many people actually knew and were just pretending they didn't?? ( because really, how could this be kept secret with both families knowing the same people??) Do I need a lawyer? What if it was not even necessary for me to grow up without him? Did HE know that I am his daughter? How could he not? ....and the list of questions multiplies daily, even now.
So, I know his name. I have questions. Hell, I even have pics of him from the year I was born. How you ask? Well, years ago I found a bunch of old negatives and from holding them up to the light I could see pics of me as a baby, and my grandma. So I took them I developed them. ( because why leave them to rot in the basement??) That is how. I compared them to recent pics of the guy. And to pics of me. And pics of my kids. so, that is how I know.
So where do I go from here? Not sure. I certainly do not want to disrupt anyones life or cause any stress in anyones family. I may just leave well enough alone and let God deal with it in the eternities. Maybe.
( Let's all pretend that this post is all grammatically correct and such because I am simply too darn tired to edit past the first line.)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Let it be Christmas...
Christmas has once again come and gone. I always feel a little bit sad the day after Christmas because I always feel like it goes by way too fast and I wish it could last just a little bit longer.
It was a tough one this year. hubby is 3000 miles away, and here are me and the kids in this little apartment. For most of December I just wanted Christmas to go away. I was not looking forward to it, and I did not want to even celebrate it. Finances are tight right now, family is far away and the ones that are near did not even call or reach out. I have cousins here in town and an uncle 20 minutes away. It is sad when your own family does not consider you family enough to see you on Christmas. I never understood it, and I guess it would be just as well to simply let it go.
However, Christmas has always been my most favorite time of year, and I know I would regret just letting it slip past me. Plus, I knew I had to pull myself together so the kids could enjoy the Holiday. I prayed constantly, but felt unheard. I felt unloved and abandoned, alone and very sad.
As I mentioned briefly in my last post, we have had many trials set in our way the past few months. I have been running on empty.
The Lord works in mysterious ways. Through friends and even strangers, in my darkest hour yet, I was drawn to my knees in gratitude.
I knew the gifts were not important. In fact, every year people ask me what I want and I say nothing. There may be things I want but I despise greed and feel greedy when I ask for things. And if i want something enough I can go get it myself. I always tell the kids " don't be greedy"...."you will get what is affordable"..."Christmas is not about presents"... etc etc...so I was not worried about presents. I decided that the dollar store and Walmart clearances would be my only stops this year and I was fine with it and the kids were too. We had found a cute little bunny online for next to nothing so we already had what was going to be our main gift this year.
The Lord blesses us according to our needs. And we needed Christmas, and it came. Some certain someones who are very special to me made it possible for us to have that. We were also "secret santa'd" by some very unselfish ward members. Both in the same day within hours of each other. I can't begin to explain how much our family needed that at that specific time.
This Christmas ended up being one of the best. I spent time with people that I have not seen in a very long time, and needed to see. I did see them at Thanksgiving, but seeing them at Christmas was really what I needed. I am not going to name names which is hard because I really want to...but this family, many years ago, unselfishly welcomed me into their home, loved me, and gave me the opportunity to see and be a part of a real family. We lost contact for many years, and I have no real excuse or explanation for it, except that I regret so much that lost time. I really am forever thankful for them and everything they have ever done for me. I have always had them in my thoughts and have thanked God for them countless times.
I do miss my hubby so so much and I wish he could have been here for Christmas. Phone calls just have to be enough for now. I have faith that we will see each other soon, we just have to be patient, do all we can and trust in God.
I love Christmas so much and am so sad that is it over so quickly. But so thankful for the peace it has brought this year to our family. We may be a Country apart, but we are so richly blessed, spiritually. We are still poor for now, but I am fine with that. It could always be so much worse. I prayed for the Christmas spirit and got so much more. I am already planning for next year.... Let it be Christmas!!!
It was a tough one this year. hubby is 3000 miles away, and here are me and the kids in this little apartment. For most of December I just wanted Christmas to go away. I was not looking forward to it, and I did not want to even celebrate it. Finances are tight right now, family is far away and the ones that are near did not even call or reach out. I have cousins here in town and an uncle 20 minutes away. It is sad when your own family does not consider you family enough to see you on Christmas. I never understood it, and I guess it would be just as well to simply let it go.
However, Christmas has always been my most favorite time of year, and I know I would regret just letting it slip past me. Plus, I knew I had to pull myself together so the kids could enjoy the Holiday. I prayed constantly, but felt unheard. I felt unloved and abandoned, alone and very sad.
As I mentioned briefly in my last post, we have had many trials set in our way the past few months. I have been running on empty.
The Lord works in mysterious ways. Through friends and even strangers, in my darkest hour yet, I was drawn to my knees in gratitude.
I knew the gifts were not important. In fact, every year people ask me what I want and I say nothing. There may be things I want but I despise greed and feel greedy when I ask for things. And if i want something enough I can go get it myself. I always tell the kids " don't be greedy"...."you will get what is affordable"..."Christmas is not about presents"... etc etc...so I was not worried about presents. I decided that the dollar store and Walmart clearances would be my only stops this year and I was fine with it and the kids were too. We had found a cute little bunny online for next to nothing so we already had what was going to be our main gift this year.
The Lord blesses us according to our needs. And we needed Christmas, and it came. Some certain someones who are very special to me made it possible for us to have that. We were also "secret santa'd" by some very unselfish ward members. Both in the same day within hours of each other. I can't begin to explain how much our family needed that at that specific time.
This Christmas ended up being one of the best. I spent time with people that I have not seen in a very long time, and needed to see. I did see them at Thanksgiving, but seeing them at Christmas was really what I needed. I am not going to name names which is hard because I really want to...but this family, many years ago, unselfishly welcomed me into their home, loved me, and gave me the opportunity to see and be a part of a real family. We lost contact for many years, and I have no real excuse or explanation for it, except that I regret so much that lost time. I really am forever thankful for them and everything they have ever done for me. I have always had them in my thoughts and have thanked God for them countless times.
I do miss my hubby so so much and I wish he could have been here for Christmas. Phone calls just have to be enough for now. I have faith that we will see each other soon, we just have to be patient, do all we can and trust in God.
I love Christmas so much and am so sad that is it over so quickly. But so thankful for the peace it has brought this year to our family. We may be a Country apart, but we are so richly blessed, spiritually. We are still poor for now, but I am fine with that. It could always be so much worse. I prayed for the Christmas spirit and got so much more. I am already planning for next year.... Let it be Christmas!!!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
What do you do when a Bobcat wanders in....
Ok, so we had some major excitement around here last friday night, and it was just the thing to bring me out of my blogging slump.
A Bobcat in the bathroom.
Yep, that's right, a wild Bobcat in the bathroom!!!!
How?
My Aunt opened the front door for some fresh air and in he walked. Straight into the bathroom and laid down.
Of course Uncle Mark calls Chris at work and tells him to come home right now and see this animal that has wandered into their house. So Chris races home and we all go over to see what all the fuss was about.
Yep, there he was, just making himself at home in the bathroom. Unbelievable.
My facebook page was popular that night. 37 comments. Cool beans.
So anyways, the sherriffs dept and wildlife dept came and got the Bobcat out. Chris and uncle Mark included , it took 7 grown men to get him out. He didn't make a peep the entire time, just wiggled some when they put the snare around him.
While we were trying to figure out what to do, we kept going and opening the bathroom door to look at him and take pics. He just sat there.
Turns out he had been most likely ran over and he was badly wounded. Needless to say, they put him "to sleep". RIP "Shutara" ( of course in all the Facebook hoopla he was indeed named).
Craziness.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
BOO!!!!
Happy Halloween!
In honor of this spooky day I think I'll share a real life ghost story. It happened to me, so you get to hear this first hand!!
"Haunted Old House"
I used to clean houses to make money. One house I cleaned was very old, and even deemed an Historic site ( I saw the plaque). I don't know if it is still considered so, because they have done some renovations on the house since, and Historic houses are supposed to be kept in as much the original state as possible.
This house has the classic haunted house look. Paint chipped on the outside, spooky looking dirty wondows,a tipped over old rocking chair on the creeking porch, old creeky hardwood floors,tall ceilings, narrow long dark stairs, dark closets, and an old armoire in the hall with a cracked mirror. There was even an old broken run down shed in the backyard. The grass and weeds were uncut and dead, and there were tall sick trees in the yard.
When I first started cleaning ast this house, I would always feel like I was being watched. You know, kind of an eerie, spooky feeling. It is an old house, so I figured I was just spooked about how the house looked form the oustide. A few weeks into this job, I really became spooked!
I cleaned when no one was home, so I figured naturally that I was by myself. WRONG!!!!!!!
I was on my way up the stairs to clean the second floor when I heard BANG BANG BANG...like a bat hitting a pipe or something. 3 times. When I reached the top of the stairs it did it again. And after a slight pause, again. I went downstairs and it stopped. Went upstairs and it started again. I took a deep breath and kept on cleaning. The only other incident that day, was the battery operated toys in the playroom. They all started talking and singing at once. I checked and they were all "off". The talking dolls were just too much and thank goodness I was finished my cleanup because I was outta there!!!
I managed a couple more cleanings by myself, and would still hear the banging ,and even got used to the dolls talking and singing.
Then came the footsteps. I would hear the footsteps coming up the stairs behind me after I was already at the top of the stairs. I would also hear them walking accross the main floor while I was upstairs. I would go to the top of the stairs and look down, and they would stop. One time I heard the footsteps upstairs while I was downstairs.
For awhile I made Chris go with me, or take another friend along. The ghost(s) didn't bother me when someone was with me. Just when I was alone. But I couldn't take someone with me every time. It was just getting too silly how scared I was.
I decided I was NOT going to be scared. I started talking to the ghost(s). I would say "it's ok, I am just cleaning your house" and " it's ok, I'm Chantal, just the cleaning lady". And you know what? The ghost(s) did not bother me after that.
I guess they were curious about what I was doing in their house? Or maybe felt threatened? I don't know. Maybe they eventually became comfortable having me there, like I became with them. I think they were just trying to look out for their house. It is a family house, so maybe they were "protecting" their family.
I never did mention any of this to the owner of the house. They may have thought I was crazy, right?!
And ,I admit ,I do miss my ghost(s) sometimes!!!
In honor of this spooky day I think I'll share a real life ghost story. It happened to me, so you get to hear this first hand!!
"Haunted Old House"
I used to clean houses to make money. One house I cleaned was very old, and even deemed an Historic site ( I saw the plaque). I don't know if it is still considered so, because they have done some renovations on the house since, and Historic houses are supposed to be kept in as much the original state as possible.
This house has the classic haunted house look. Paint chipped on the outside, spooky looking dirty wondows,a tipped over old rocking chair on the creeking porch, old creeky hardwood floors,tall ceilings, narrow long dark stairs, dark closets, and an old armoire in the hall with a cracked mirror. There was even an old broken run down shed in the backyard. The grass and weeds were uncut and dead, and there were tall sick trees in the yard.
When I first started cleaning ast this house, I would always feel like I was being watched. You know, kind of an eerie, spooky feeling. It is an old house, so I figured I was just spooked about how the house looked form the oustide. A few weeks into this job, I really became spooked!
I cleaned when no one was home, so I figured naturally that I was by myself. WRONG!!!!!!!
I was on my way up the stairs to clean the second floor when I heard BANG BANG BANG...like a bat hitting a pipe or something. 3 times. When I reached the top of the stairs it did it again. And after a slight pause, again. I went downstairs and it stopped. Went upstairs and it started again. I took a deep breath and kept on cleaning. The only other incident that day, was the battery operated toys in the playroom. They all started talking and singing at once. I checked and they were all "off". The talking dolls were just too much and thank goodness I was finished my cleanup because I was outta there!!!
I managed a couple more cleanings by myself, and would still hear the banging ,and even got used to the dolls talking and singing.
Then came the footsteps. I would hear the footsteps coming up the stairs behind me after I was already at the top of the stairs. I would also hear them walking accross the main floor while I was upstairs. I would go to the top of the stairs and look down, and they would stop. One time I heard the footsteps upstairs while I was downstairs.
For awhile I made Chris go with me, or take another friend along. The ghost(s) didn't bother me when someone was with me. Just when I was alone. But I couldn't take someone with me every time. It was just getting too silly how scared I was.
I decided I was NOT going to be scared. I started talking to the ghost(s). I would say "it's ok, I am just cleaning your house" and " it's ok, I'm Chantal, just the cleaning lady". And you know what? The ghost(s) did not bother me after that.
I guess they were curious about what I was doing in their house? Or maybe felt threatened? I don't know. Maybe they eventually became comfortable having me there, like I became with them. I think they were just trying to look out for their house. It is a family house, so maybe they were "protecting" their family.
I never did mention any of this to the owner of the house. They may have thought I was crazy, right?!
And ,I admit ,I do miss my ghost(s) sometimes!!!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Helloooo out there...
Ok, I know I have been a major slacker around here. I would update you on all things if I could remember where I even left off- and what has happened since then. So I will post things as I remember them, ok?
Lets see...I'm sick. I have this weird never ending lingering flu/cold thing. And it's irritating me. My body is aching, like really aching. Hurts to move aching. And my throat hurts and I have a fever and I'm sooo tired. And I'm coughing. The flu/cold thing has lasted the past week and a half. The achy thing, for about 2 months. So I'm pretty sure the 2 are unrelated. In fact, that reminds me. Awhile back, I woke up to my ankle hurting so bad that I vcould not walk on it. Waited a week for it to feel better because I know I hadn't hurt it. It still wasn;t any better so I went to the doc. After many tests and xrays it was determined that I have psoriatic arthritis. So I'm pretty sure that is what the achiness is. But it still hurts. The pain comes and goes but the achiness stays. So I need to ask the doc if that is to be expected or what.
Kids started school, and so far it's going well. Megan is excited to play the saxaphone in band and Elias is in the gifted program. Nephi is in 7th grade and despises school. What can I expect, he's 13.
I am going back to school -again. This time, pharmacy. I'm very excited. Back in the day I hated school. But now that I'm a grown up, I rather enjoy it.
Well, I should really go clean the house. The new baby kittens have learned how to poop, but have no concept of "PLEASE POOP IN THE LITTER BOX!!!!"
Then I'm going to go take a nap. Because I really don't feel good. Not good at all.
Lets see...I'm sick. I have this weird never ending lingering flu/cold thing. And it's irritating me. My body is aching, like really aching. Hurts to move aching. And my throat hurts and I have a fever and I'm sooo tired. And I'm coughing. The flu/cold thing has lasted the past week and a half. The achy thing, for about 2 months. So I'm pretty sure the 2 are unrelated. In fact, that reminds me. Awhile back, I woke up to my ankle hurting so bad that I vcould not walk on it. Waited a week for it to feel better because I know I hadn't hurt it. It still wasn;t any better so I went to the doc. After many tests and xrays it was determined that I have psoriatic arthritis. So I'm pretty sure that is what the achiness is. But it still hurts. The pain comes and goes but the achiness stays. So I need to ask the doc if that is to be expected or what.
Kids started school, and so far it's going well. Megan is excited to play the saxaphone in band and Elias is in the gifted program. Nephi is in 7th grade and despises school. What can I expect, he's 13.
I am going back to school -again. This time, pharmacy. I'm very excited. Back in the day I hated school. But now that I'm a grown up, I rather enjoy it.
Well, I should really go clean the house. The new baby kittens have learned how to poop, but have no concept of "PLEASE POOP IN THE LITTER BOX!!!!"
Then I'm going to go take a nap. Because I really don't feel good. Not good at all.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Still alive, I promise
I just know you all have missed me oh so much....but I'm still here. Not really blogging, but I do read everyones blog. I've been a lazy commenter too, so I'm sorry.
The flu has made its way around our house twice, and so has the dreaded winter cold that lingers forever and ever. So When I haven't been sick someone in the house has.
One of our cats had a weird seizure thing and died on the kitchen floor. I heavily cloroxed the floors afterwards. Another cat, one of my favorites also died. We aren't sure why. He was sick and just never got better and slowly faded away. We came home from the grocery store and he was dead, in the same place he was sleeping when we left that morning. It was a fairly quick thing. He was very tired one day so we figured he wasn't feeling well. He layed around for a few days. We figured he was resting like we all do when we are sick. Then he was just weak, and then dead. He was a pretty cat, so well behaved. I miss him alot. I was his favorite human.
Elias won first place in his cubscout pack pinewood derby. We went to the district races on saturday but he didn't win anything there. He got to race 3 times before he was eliminated though. I'll post pics later.
Megan had the puberty class at school. I have also had several talks with her about different "things". She knows it all now.
My psoriasis is finally going away. The dermatologist gave me a foam to put on it and it seems to be clearing up. I am supposed to be starting a shot called humira too. If I am approved for it. But if I do the shot, I can't get pregnant yet. And it will suppress my immune system which may not be good, but we'll see. So ,praise the heavens, I will be wearing capri pants this summer for the first time in 3 years!! And short sleeves too!! I have missed being able to dress like it is summer when it is summer!! And I can finally so swimming without people staring at my scabby arms and legs!! I know it sounds silly to you all, but it has been a large factor in my little bout of depression. I feel really unattractive with all the scabs, but they are finally almost gone, so I am happy !!! I won't post pics of my psoriasis, but feel free to google it if you really want to see what severe plaque psoriasis looks like. It's gross. I have a severe form, and when not treated it feels like my skin is burning off. ok, so enough about my scabs...
It doesn't normally snow here but it did snow 3 times this winter. The schools closed and everyone was hunkered down like the end was coming. And it wasn't even what I would consider a "snowfall"., being from deepfreeze Canada and all. But the ground was nicely dusted and all the southerners were panicking. It was funny. I laughed when the news people said they were closing schools due to "severe weather conditions".
well, thats all for now, I will be back tomorrow.
The flu has made its way around our house twice, and so has the dreaded winter cold that lingers forever and ever. So When I haven't been sick someone in the house has.
One of our cats had a weird seizure thing and died on the kitchen floor. I heavily cloroxed the floors afterwards. Another cat, one of my favorites also died. We aren't sure why. He was sick and just never got better and slowly faded away. We came home from the grocery store and he was dead, in the same place he was sleeping when we left that morning. It was a fairly quick thing. He was very tired one day so we figured he wasn't feeling well. He layed around for a few days. We figured he was resting like we all do when we are sick. Then he was just weak, and then dead. He was a pretty cat, so well behaved. I miss him alot. I was his favorite human.
Elias won first place in his cubscout pack pinewood derby. We went to the district races on saturday but he didn't win anything there. He got to race 3 times before he was eliminated though. I'll post pics later.
Megan had the puberty class at school. I have also had several talks with her about different "things". She knows it all now.
My psoriasis is finally going away. The dermatologist gave me a foam to put on it and it seems to be clearing up. I am supposed to be starting a shot called humira too. If I am approved for it. But if I do the shot, I can't get pregnant yet. And it will suppress my immune system which may not be good, but we'll see. So ,praise the heavens, I will be wearing capri pants this summer for the first time in 3 years!! And short sleeves too!! I have missed being able to dress like it is summer when it is summer!! And I can finally so swimming without people staring at my scabby arms and legs!! I know it sounds silly to you all, but it has been a large factor in my little bout of depression. I feel really unattractive with all the scabs, but they are finally almost gone, so I am happy !!! I won't post pics of my psoriasis, but feel free to google it if you really want to see what severe plaque psoriasis looks like. It's gross. I have a severe form, and when not treated it feels like my skin is burning off. ok, so enough about my scabs...
It doesn't normally snow here but it did snow 3 times this winter. The schools closed and everyone was hunkered down like the end was coming. And it wasn't even what I would consider a "snowfall"., being from deepfreeze Canada and all. But the ground was nicely dusted and all the southerners were panicking. It was funny. I laughed when the news people said they were closing schools due to "severe weather conditions".
well, thats all for now, I will be back tomorrow.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
How safe are our kids at school????
ok, so I have decided that this is the year of change for me. Because I am severely bothered by several things right now.
The main thing is something that happened at my childrens school. My daughter wasn't the victim but she easily could have been and the whole thing has changed me. I have been a different person since the incident...which in some ways is good and in some ways its bad. Bad because I am bittter and angry. Good because it has caused me to take a step back and do some serious thinking.
A girl my daughters age was almost raped in the school bathroom.
It happened back in November I think. About the time I stopped blogging as much as I used to. Megan walked in the door after school and says "mom, a girl was almost raped in the school bathroom". She didn't ask what rape is so she obviously already knows. She says everyone is talking about it but that she overheard that the teachers don't want it "getting out". So she says not to tell anyone. This is where my blood started to boil and my face started to burn and I started contacting other parents. The school of course gives out minimal details so God knows I will never get a straight answer form them. They are such a bunch of clowns. There for the paycheck and that is it!!! It has been on my mind every second of every waking moment and I am so angry that I don't know what to do. I wish I could pull my kids out of school and never send them back. I am the most angry because How in the H*** does something like this happen at school!!??? The teacher now sends them to the bathroom in pairs. But that doesn't make me feel much better. I feel like by sending my kids to school I am just throwing them in harms way. And that is not a good feeling.There is a very good chance that my kids will be homeschooled for the remainder of their school days. Because I know that the world is falling apart and this is just the beginning. And I know that if something happens to my kids at school I will blame myself and never forgive myself. I would rather know they are safe no matter how little patience I have witht hem at home 24/7!!! Some parents are brushing this off like it happens all the time and it's no big deal. And that makes me ILL!!!!!!! So , it's eating at me and haunting me and bothering me like crazy. I really want to hear what everyone has to say about this. Don't worry about offending me, I honestly want everyones opinion. I know you read my blog,so come out of hiding and comment!!!What would you do?? Would you pull your kids out of school?
The main thing is something that happened at my childrens school. My daughter wasn't the victim but she easily could have been and the whole thing has changed me. I have been a different person since the incident...which in some ways is good and in some ways its bad. Bad because I am bittter and angry. Good because it has caused me to take a step back and do some serious thinking.
A girl my daughters age was almost raped in the school bathroom.
It happened back in November I think. About the time I stopped blogging as much as I used to. Megan walked in the door after school and says "mom, a girl was almost raped in the school bathroom". She didn't ask what rape is so she obviously already knows. She says everyone is talking about it but that she overheard that the teachers don't want it "getting out". So she says not to tell anyone. This is where my blood started to boil and my face started to burn and I started contacting other parents. The school of course gives out minimal details so God knows I will never get a straight answer form them. They are such a bunch of clowns. There for the paycheck and that is it!!! It has been on my mind every second of every waking moment and I am so angry that I don't know what to do. I wish I could pull my kids out of school and never send them back. I am the most angry because How in the H*** does something like this happen at school!!??? The teacher now sends them to the bathroom in pairs. But that doesn't make me feel much better. I feel like by sending my kids to school I am just throwing them in harms way. And that is not a good feeling.There is a very good chance that my kids will be homeschooled for the remainder of their school days. Because I know that the world is falling apart and this is just the beginning. And I know that if something happens to my kids at school I will blame myself and never forgive myself. I would rather know they are safe no matter how little patience I have witht hem at home 24/7!!! Some parents are brushing this off like it happens all the time and it's no big deal. And that makes me ILL!!!!!!! So , it's eating at me and haunting me and bothering me like crazy. I really want to hear what everyone has to say about this. Don't worry about offending me, I honestly want everyones opinion. I know you read my blog,so come out of hiding and comment!!!What would you do?? Would you pull your kids out of school?
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