Ok so its been awhile since I have written anything but its good to see I still have some followers LOL. Thanks for sticking around, because I have a project on the go and need your help!
I am working on a human behavior study so to speak. The first thing I need from all of you is discussion ideas/topics...things about human behavior you are curious about, have opinions about, or are just interested in seeing what others think or have to say. Any and all ideas are welcome, anything goes ( email or post in comments). Trust me, you want to participate in this! Any questions, just ask!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Single.
I didn't realize how much a divorce can wear one out. I was divorced once before when I was only 19. So I don't count that one...I was young and inexperienced and he was abusive and I left after one baby and one on the way. We didn't even live in the same house for 5 months before I ended it.
So really this is my first grown up experience with divorce and hopefully my only one. I will be much more careful from now on.
I had so much emotion and commitment put into this marriage, and to have that all ripped out from under me really threw me through a loop. We were sealed in the Temple so I assumed he loved me and was as committed as I was. Later on he tried to say I forced him to be sealed to me and that he never even asked me to marry him in the first place. Which is false. He did ask me and really, force someone to be sealed to me as serious as a sealing is?? come on.
When he was mad he would throw things, smash things, and tell me to pack my bags and go back to Canada.
I should have just left the first time he ever said it, and I wish I did. I wish I hadn't been so passive when he said he needed to "think" about whether or not he wanted to stay married, and then "thought" about it for months on end.
I hate dwelling on hurt feelings. I don't like feeling sad about the divorce. It's strange because I am not even sad about the actual divorce. I am happy without him, happy to be away from him. I am sad that the kids lost a family. He was never a good stepdad to my kids but they were happy and close with the rest of his family. They now have completely cut my kids out like they never existed. I shouldn't be surprised because they always claimed to love them equally and eternally but then played favorites with the 2 biological Grandkids.
But it still hurts the kids, and for that I am sad.
Plus, he has never gotten over his first wife and treated me like a second choice anyways.
Like, how dare I say anything negative about her, and he would defend her over and over.But if someone would gossip and say rude things about me he would be mad at ME for being hurt and tell me to get over it. Never once did he stick up for me.
When he was younger he had a thing with the daughter of the woman his uncle was seeing. He said he was 19 which means she would have been 12. Gross to begin with. His uncle ended up marrying the woman and so he and the girl became cousins by marriage. I never knew the extent of their "thing" and it didn't really matter , nor did I care,except that she always acted so strange around me. I had asked him early on in our relationship how far it went and he said they were just friends who kissed a couple times. Ok, no biggie. But it started to really bother me when she would act all close and sweet to him and weird to me. He was always concerned about her and worried about her and it started to have a effect on our marriage. So I flat out asked him if he had sex with her and he said yes. Remember they were 19 and 12 at the time. Gross. All respect lost. Yet still, I know as good as anyone that young people do dumb things sometimes, especially when those hormones take over. All I wanted was honesty, a reason for this weird connection between my husband and her. If he had been honest from the start I could have dealt with it. Not to mention he acted like he still had a thing for her after all those years, and it made me sick. He would have done anything for her, he admitted it, yet he acted like I was a burden.
Even in light of all this, I never imagined that we would get divorced. I figured he would realize one day that I was a good wife and come to appreciate me the way he should. Never happened. He could never let go of women he had been with previously.
And yes, that was a problem because I should have been his priority but never was.
I am very forgiving and would have forgiven anything. Honesty is all I ask.
The marriage exhausted me and the divorced exhausted me more and drained me and stressed me out so bad that I would actually be sick.
Never again will I marry someone who is still in love with someone else ( or 2 someone elses for that matter!!)
I am relieved. Writing about it helps me cope with whatever is going on in my life. Plus not many people read my blog anyways. And I dont like everyone thinking I am the bad guy in this divorce. So this is my outlet. I refuse to be walked all over.
Like I said, so relieved to be free of all the negativity.
So yes, I am happy to be free and single. As hard as it is to be a single mom, I don't regret the divorce.
I know I don't deserve to be treated like dirt. One day a nice guy will come along and sweep me off my feet and this will all be old news...
I don't love him anymore, and now that the divorce is final, it doesn't seem so strange to call him my ex.
And yes, I am working on forgiving him. It will come in time. I'm not perfect but trying my hardest.
So really this is my first grown up experience with divorce and hopefully my only one. I will be much more careful from now on.
I had so much emotion and commitment put into this marriage, and to have that all ripped out from under me really threw me through a loop. We were sealed in the Temple so I assumed he loved me and was as committed as I was. Later on he tried to say I forced him to be sealed to me and that he never even asked me to marry him in the first place. Which is false. He did ask me and really, force someone to be sealed to me as serious as a sealing is?? come on.
When he was mad he would throw things, smash things, and tell me to pack my bags and go back to Canada.
I should have just left the first time he ever said it, and I wish I did. I wish I hadn't been so passive when he said he needed to "think" about whether or not he wanted to stay married, and then "thought" about it for months on end.
I hate dwelling on hurt feelings. I don't like feeling sad about the divorce. It's strange because I am not even sad about the actual divorce. I am happy without him, happy to be away from him. I am sad that the kids lost a family. He was never a good stepdad to my kids but they were happy and close with the rest of his family. They now have completely cut my kids out like they never existed. I shouldn't be surprised because they always claimed to love them equally and eternally but then played favorites with the 2 biological Grandkids.
But it still hurts the kids, and for that I am sad.
Plus, he has never gotten over his first wife and treated me like a second choice anyways.
Like, how dare I say anything negative about her, and he would defend her over and over.But if someone would gossip and say rude things about me he would be mad at ME for being hurt and tell me to get over it. Never once did he stick up for me.
When he was younger he had a thing with the daughter of the woman his uncle was seeing. He said he was 19 which means she would have been 12. Gross to begin with. His uncle ended up marrying the woman and so he and the girl became cousins by marriage. I never knew the extent of their "thing" and it didn't really matter , nor did I care,except that she always acted so strange around me. I had asked him early on in our relationship how far it went and he said they were just friends who kissed a couple times. Ok, no biggie. But it started to really bother me when she would act all close and sweet to him and weird to me. He was always concerned about her and worried about her and it started to have a effect on our marriage. So I flat out asked him if he had sex with her and he said yes. Remember they were 19 and 12 at the time. Gross. All respect lost. Yet still, I know as good as anyone that young people do dumb things sometimes, especially when those hormones take over. All I wanted was honesty, a reason for this weird connection between my husband and her. If he had been honest from the start I could have dealt with it. Not to mention he acted like he still had a thing for her after all those years, and it made me sick. He would have done anything for her, he admitted it, yet he acted like I was a burden.
Even in light of all this, I never imagined that we would get divorced. I figured he would realize one day that I was a good wife and come to appreciate me the way he should. Never happened. He could never let go of women he had been with previously.
And yes, that was a problem because I should have been his priority but never was.
I am very forgiving and would have forgiven anything. Honesty is all I ask.
The marriage exhausted me and the divorced exhausted me more and drained me and stressed me out so bad that I would actually be sick.
Never again will I marry someone who is still in love with someone else ( or 2 someone elses for that matter!!)
I am relieved. Writing about it helps me cope with whatever is going on in my life. Plus not many people read my blog anyways. And I dont like everyone thinking I am the bad guy in this divorce. So this is my outlet. I refuse to be walked all over.
Like I said, so relieved to be free of all the negativity.
So yes, I am happy to be free and single. As hard as it is to be a single mom, I don't regret the divorce.
I know I don't deserve to be treated like dirt. One day a nice guy will come along and sweep me off my feet and this will all be old news...
I don't love him anymore, and now that the divorce is final, it doesn't seem so strange to call him my ex.
And yes, I am working on forgiving him. It will come in time. I'm not perfect but trying my hardest.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Healing the heart
Once in awhile I am reminded in even the most subtle way of things in my marriage that weren't so bad, and I get that small tinge of a sting in my heart. I will be sad for a moment, then snap out of it and carry on.
While doing the dishes this morning I heard a song that brought back some of those memories. I love hearing the piano, playing the piano...heck, I get excited even seeing a piano!!!...... and I wish I still had one.
During my 6 years of marriage my husband loved to hear me play the piano. He worked nights and said it helped him relax in the mornings before bed. So every morning he would ask me to play, so I would sit and play, sometimes right until he fell asleep. I didn't mind one bit and it was really the only thing that made me feel appreciated. When I think of those mornings I think, maybe he really did love me at one time.
I taught myself to play when I was about 7. That was the first time we ever had a piano in the house. My mom wanted to play, and she did, but I dominated that piano. My mom showed me middle C and I taught myself from the little learn to play books, and even started to play out of the church hymn book and another book of movie theme type songs. Eventually when I was around 11, I finally got to take lessons! My first teacher was a lady from church, and she helped me learn the more complicated hymns.
My second teachers name was Mrs Falkenstein but everyone called her Mrs Frankenstein. She was a strict teacher, but she helped me brush up on my skills and I was always so envious of how smoothly and effortlessly she played. I was envious of her piano room and all the erasers, pens and decorations that had little pianos and musical notes on them....she even had sticky notes with little musical notes on the top.She was a great teacher and I think of her often. She taught me the art of classical music and was a certified Conservatory instructor. So I became a classically trained pianist and loved every minute!! I wanted to get a degree in music but my Husband said it was a stupid idea and that a music degree would be useless and that when I finish school it had to be something that would make alot of money so he didn't have to work so much.
When my Husband so ruthlessly dumped me I wanted nothing to do with music, the piano, and when I moved into my friends basement I left my piano behind. I was so broken hearted that I couldn't even bare to think about music. I felt like the piano was a huge part of the good parts of our marriage and I wanted to forget all of it. I even sold my ipod that had about 200 songs on it that I paid for on itunes.
As time went on my heart started to heal and I started to make new friends and rekindle old friendships. I started to feel happy again, in my life, my job, and I was even taking a class.
I started to listen to music again and it became the one thing that was able to help heal my heart. I guess its just in my blood. Now if only I hadn't left that piano behind!!!! That, I regret.
Yes, music was a big part of the good in my marriage but it was also a major part of my life before my marriage.
My divorce was officially granted the day before Valentines day.
I am trying to let go of those little things one day at a time. Of course it still stings sometimes, but I cannot let that hold me back from living my life and loving the things that I love. I have made the decision to be happy. Crap happens but I deal with it then carry on. I have learned that true happiness comes from within. Once you are happy with yourself, all those little extras, like say relationships, are just added bonuses.
So right now, I can say that I am honestly happy. It is hard being a single mom but at least my heart has healed. And I learned an important lesson from my marriage.....don't try and conform to something you are not just to please someone. If you love it, you love it and you should keep loving it.
While doing the dishes this morning I heard a song that brought back some of those memories. I love hearing the piano, playing the piano...heck, I get excited even seeing a piano!!!...... and I wish I still had one.
During my 6 years of marriage my husband loved to hear me play the piano. He worked nights and said it helped him relax in the mornings before bed. So every morning he would ask me to play, so I would sit and play, sometimes right until he fell asleep. I didn't mind one bit and it was really the only thing that made me feel appreciated. When I think of those mornings I think, maybe he really did love me at one time.
I taught myself to play when I was about 7. That was the first time we ever had a piano in the house. My mom wanted to play, and she did, but I dominated that piano. My mom showed me middle C and I taught myself from the little learn to play books, and even started to play out of the church hymn book and another book of movie theme type songs. Eventually when I was around 11, I finally got to take lessons! My first teacher was a lady from church, and she helped me learn the more complicated hymns.
My second teachers name was Mrs Falkenstein but everyone called her Mrs Frankenstein. She was a strict teacher, but she helped me brush up on my skills and I was always so envious of how smoothly and effortlessly she played. I was envious of her piano room and all the erasers, pens and decorations that had little pianos and musical notes on them....she even had sticky notes with little musical notes on the top.She was a great teacher and I think of her often. She taught me the art of classical music and was a certified Conservatory instructor. So I became a classically trained pianist and loved every minute!! I wanted to get a degree in music but my Husband said it was a stupid idea and that a music degree would be useless and that when I finish school it had to be something that would make alot of money so he didn't have to work so much.
When my Husband so ruthlessly dumped me I wanted nothing to do with music, the piano, and when I moved into my friends basement I left my piano behind. I was so broken hearted that I couldn't even bare to think about music. I felt like the piano was a huge part of the good parts of our marriage and I wanted to forget all of it. I even sold my ipod that had about 200 songs on it that I paid for on itunes.
As time went on my heart started to heal and I started to make new friends and rekindle old friendships. I started to feel happy again, in my life, my job, and I was even taking a class.
I started to listen to music again and it became the one thing that was able to help heal my heart. I guess its just in my blood. Now if only I hadn't left that piano behind!!!! That, I regret.
Yes, music was a big part of the good in my marriage but it was also a major part of my life before my marriage.
My divorce was officially granted the day before Valentines day.
I am trying to let go of those little things one day at a time. Of course it still stings sometimes, but I cannot let that hold me back from living my life and loving the things that I love. I have made the decision to be happy. Crap happens but I deal with it then carry on. I have learned that true happiness comes from within. Once you are happy with yourself, all those little extras, like say relationships, are just added bonuses.
So right now, I can say that I am honestly happy. It is hard being a single mom but at least my heart has healed. And I learned an important lesson from my marriage.....don't try and conform to something you are not just to please someone. If you love it, you love it and you should keep loving it.
Le Divorce
There is never an easy way to write about the breakdown of a marriage, especially your own.
I was dumped. While the kids and I were homeless, he was vacationing in Mexico. He decided that he didn't think he should have a family.
Huh????
Ya, that's what I said.
Here is how it all went down.....
We decided to make the move to Canada because my oldest son was living here with his dad and I could not tolerate one more second away from him. As a mother, you know when your children need you and you know what they need when they need it. As my childrens mother I knew this is what they needed. Some will argue that I put my kids first over my husband but no, I was putting my family as a whole, first. I was in agaony over things that were going on that I had no control over because was in the States and he was here in Canada. Long story short, my sons father refused to return him after a summer visit and because of the wording in the divorce papers, even though I had sole custody it was impossible to retain any help from a lawyer or police without a large sum of cash being involved. Nothing could be enforced. And we were not that wealthy. So ensued the battle and towards the end of our time in the states I was in such agony that I could not take it anymore.
Decision made, move family to Canada.
Plan? The kids and I would go and one of 2 things would happen...either i would get us settled and Chris would follow, or I would get my son and we would all go back to the States.
Custody battles started and I could not leave Canada any time soon.
My Husband refused to some visit, even when I had friends offer to help pay for airfare. He would complain if I needed money, he would ignore my calls, emails and facebooking for weeks on end. At first he blamed it on his phone, then on work, then one thing then another. He eventually admitted he had no intention of coming here, ever. so the kids and I were stuck, with only our clothes, and all our belongings accumulated over years and lifetimes were in the States. Nice. He went back and forth between saying he wanted this to work, then he didn't want to be married. Then he needed to think about it. Well, he "thought" about it from February until August. During that time, he ignored me as per usual. I couldn't make ends meet so the kids went to my parents for the summer, I put our stuff in storage and slept in a friends basement for the summer. We had no home. No Husband either because he was in Mexico!! He didn't even know we "moved" at first or even much less cared because he wouldn't reply to my many messages explaining the situation. I would even see him comment to other people on Facebook while ignoring my messages begging him to call me. When he finally answered he claimed that he forgot to tell me he was going to Mexico and that it was a last minute trip. Pardon my french, but BULLSHIT. Lie. I happen to have it on good source that the trip was being planned in April!!! I was needless to say, furious and he had the audacity to be mad at me for being mad!!!! That was it.
I filed for divorce, my good friend went and moved my stuff out and that's that.
Of course he has everyone hating me and being all sympathetic towards him. How lovely. Whatever, he choose to walk away but it is for the best. He was never all that nice to me to begin with. I was always "bothering" him while he was trying to watch tv or play on the computer, he complained about how much the kids and I costed to feed, he put his other family first and me last, he yelled at my kids to the point where they did not like him anymore, and God forbid I cry, because that was just "begging for attention" and I didn't deserve attention because I couldn't keep the house clean the way he wanted. He would never hug me or comfort me when I was sad because if he did it once I would expect him to do it again, and he was not going to be "played" like that. My doctor urged and referred me to a rhuematologist and other doctors, but it was "too expensive" so my health suffered. Oh, and the gooder:.......he knew before we were married that I wanted 2 more kids but kept making excuses and outright refused and insisted on waiting "another year", etc etc....my health issues went untreated and brushed off thanks to him, for too long and now I have no possibility of having any more babies. My issues are not life threatening, but still important and he would never open his eyes to see that. And he has never been remorseful or even a bit sorry about it.
Looking back I see that he was not good to me or for me. in fact, I wish I could turn back time and never meet him. Alot of pain would have been spared.
I had to write about this because it's just how I deal with things, and honestly, I want certain people to know the story and this saves me the time of sending out emails and responding to several "comments" etc. Now it's out there.
You live, you learn. So it's over and I'm in a very happy place. I am happier than I have ever been in my life and looking forward to the future.
And when it comes to men?? I want to say I will from now on proceed with caution, but if the right one comes along then I will be ready.
I was dumped. While the kids and I were homeless, he was vacationing in Mexico. He decided that he didn't think he should have a family.
Huh????
Ya, that's what I said.
Here is how it all went down.....
We decided to make the move to Canada because my oldest son was living here with his dad and I could not tolerate one more second away from him. As a mother, you know when your children need you and you know what they need when they need it. As my childrens mother I knew this is what they needed. Some will argue that I put my kids first over my husband but no, I was putting my family as a whole, first. I was in agaony over things that were going on that I had no control over because was in the States and he was here in Canada. Long story short, my sons father refused to return him after a summer visit and because of the wording in the divorce papers, even though I had sole custody it was impossible to retain any help from a lawyer or police without a large sum of cash being involved. Nothing could be enforced. And we were not that wealthy. So ensued the battle and towards the end of our time in the states I was in such agony that I could not take it anymore.
Decision made, move family to Canada.
Plan? The kids and I would go and one of 2 things would happen...either i would get us settled and Chris would follow, or I would get my son and we would all go back to the States.
Custody battles started and I could not leave Canada any time soon.
My Husband refused to some visit, even when I had friends offer to help pay for airfare. He would complain if I needed money, he would ignore my calls, emails and facebooking for weeks on end. At first he blamed it on his phone, then on work, then one thing then another. He eventually admitted he had no intention of coming here, ever. so the kids and I were stuck, with only our clothes, and all our belongings accumulated over years and lifetimes were in the States. Nice. He went back and forth between saying he wanted this to work, then he didn't want to be married. Then he needed to think about it. Well, he "thought" about it from February until August. During that time, he ignored me as per usual. I couldn't make ends meet so the kids went to my parents for the summer, I put our stuff in storage and slept in a friends basement for the summer. We had no home. No Husband either because he was in Mexico!! He didn't even know we "moved" at first or even much less cared because he wouldn't reply to my many messages explaining the situation. I would even see him comment to other people on Facebook while ignoring my messages begging him to call me. When he finally answered he claimed that he forgot to tell me he was going to Mexico and that it was a last minute trip. Pardon my french, but BULLSHIT. Lie. I happen to have it on good source that the trip was being planned in April!!! I was needless to say, furious and he had the audacity to be mad at me for being mad!!!! That was it.
I filed for divorce, my good friend went and moved my stuff out and that's that.
Of course he has everyone hating me and being all sympathetic towards him. How lovely. Whatever, he choose to walk away but it is for the best. He was never all that nice to me to begin with. I was always "bothering" him while he was trying to watch tv or play on the computer, he complained about how much the kids and I costed to feed, he put his other family first and me last, he yelled at my kids to the point where they did not like him anymore, and God forbid I cry, because that was just "begging for attention" and I didn't deserve attention because I couldn't keep the house clean the way he wanted. He would never hug me or comfort me when I was sad because if he did it once I would expect him to do it again, and he was not going to be "played" like that. My doctor urged and referred me to a rhuematologist and other doctors, but it was "too expensive" so my health suffered. Oh, and the gooder:.......he knew before we were married that I wanted 2 more kids but kept making excuses and outright refused and insisted on waiting "another year", etc etc....my health issues went untreated and brushed off thanks to him, for too long and now I have no possibility of having any more babies. My issues are not life threatening, but still important and he would never open his eyes to see that. And he has never been remorseful or even a bit sorry about it.
Looking back I see that he was not good to me or for me. in fact, I wish I could turn back time and never meet him. Alot of pain would have been spared.
I had to write about this because it's just how I deal with things, and honestly, I want certain people to know the story and this saves me the time of sending out emails and responding to several "comments" etc. Now it's out there.
You live, you learn. So it's over and I'm in a very happy place. I am happier than I have ever been in my life and looking forward to the future.
And when it comes to men?? I want to say I will from now on proceed with caution, but if the right one comes along then I will be ready.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Never forget.
Ten years ago today my friend walked into my house to drop off her son, and shakily told me to turn on the TV. I kind of wish I hadn't.
She said a plane had crashed into the World trade Center. And there it was, right before my eyes, crumbling to the ground. I don't need to explain the feeling because we all know. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I will never forget the feeling of complete shock seeing those towers fall and I can't begin to fathom the horror and nightmare of being in those towers, of those on the planes, and loved ones at home realizing their lives will never again be the same.
As the day approaches every year, those raw speechless feelings come flooding back and it happens all over again. NYC is home for several family members and friends, and those first hours of not knowing exactly what was happening was disturbing to say the least.
Even as I write this I am lost for words, even ten years later.
I hope peace will eventually come to those who lost loved ones on that dreadful day.
I believe there is a special place in Hell for the Highjackers of 9/11.
I don't know what else to say....
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Best kept secret ever.
I haven't said much on this topic except for one random Facebook status awhile back...I was excited at the time but was cautioned to "proceed carefully". That was around 6 months ago. SO. For the past 6 months I have been thinking. Deeply thinking. Have not proceeded. But I am ready to write about it.
With the help of some extended family members, I have been searching actively for my bio-Dad for about 10 years now. I have always been curious and tried to find info here and there but the real active search has been on for a decade. Wow. ...
.ok and wait. Little insert here: no, my mother has not volunteered any info. She stands her ground firmly that she "does not remember". And no, I am not writing this to hurt anyone. .....
Ok. So anyways, we would come up with little tidbits here and there. Unfortunately my birth records are sealed because when my mom married my step Dad he adopted me. And I don't like referring to him as my step dad because he is the only father I have ever known and so from here on out he will be referred to simply as my dad.
I won't bore you with details, and it's better that way because I need to respect the privacy of certain parties involved.
Basically, my Grandmother had taken any info on this to the grave with her ( or so we thought). I don't know why it never dawned on me to ask her for info while she was alive. I could kick myself for that. Some may think it strange that given my "chaotic history" she would not just straight out tell me. But that is how she was. Anyone who knew her the way I did would know that it is just not in her nature to let the cat out of the bag unless asked to. Unless someone was in danger of course.
So, awhile back someone spilled the beans. Turns out she confided in one of my great aunts many years ago. As soon as I heard the name I just about peed myself. A similar name had been mentioned by this same aunt to my uncle a few years ago but somehow in relaying the name to me, it got "edited". You know how that happens. You know the telephone game when you pass along a phrase and by the time it reaches the end it is totally different?? Ya, kind of like that. So this past time it was relayed correctly and the pieces came together and there it was. I knew my answer. I have known this person most of my life. I have seen him in passing and even said hi, and probably other things which I cannot remember. I know his other children, although not very well. That is of course if the info is correct. There is a reason I think it is, which may be all the proof I need, aside from a DNA test , if I decide to pursue this.
Enter excitement. I emailed some of my most trustworthy friends and family immediately.
Then came the questions. .....what do I do with this? I cold email him, should I? How many people actually knew and were just pretending they didn't?? ( because really, how could this be kept secret with both families knowing the same people??) Do I need a lawyer? What if it was not even necessary for me to grow up without him? Did HE know that I am his daughter? How could he not? ....and the list of questions multiplies daily, even now.
So, I know his name. I have questions. Hell, I even have pics of him from the year I was born. How you ask? Well, years ago I found a bunch of old negatives and from holding them up to the light I could see pics of me as a baby, and my grandma. So I took them I developed them. ( because why leave them to rot in the basement??) That is how. I compared them to recent pics of the guy. And to pics of me. And pics of my kids. so, that is how I know.
So where do I go from here? Not sure. I certainly do not want to disrupt anyones life or cause any stress in anyones family. I may just leave well enough alone and let God deal with it in the eternities. Maybe.
( Let's all pretend that this post is all grammatically correct and such because I am simply too darn tired to edit past the first line.)
With the help of some extended family members, I have been searching actively for my bio-Dad for about 10 years now. I have always been curious and tried to find info here and there but the real active search has been on for a decade. Wow. ...
.ok and wait. Little insert here: no, my mother has not volunteered any info. She stands her ground firmly that she "does not remember". And no, I am not writing this to hurt anyone. .....
Ok. So anyways, we would come up with little tidbits here and there. Unfortunately my birth records are sealed because when my mom married my step Dad he adopted me. And I don't like referring to him as my step dad because he is the only father I have ever known and so from here on out he will be referred to simply as my dad.
I won't bore you with details, and it's better that way because I need to respect the privacy of certain parties involved.
Basically, my Grandmother had taken any info on this to the grave with her ( or so we thought). I don't know why it never dawned on me to ask her for info while she was alive. I could kick myself for that. Some may think it strange that given my "chaotic history" she would not just straight out tell me. But that is how she was. Anyone who knew her the way I did would know that it is just not in her nature to let the cat out of the bag unless asked to. Unless someone was in danger of course.
So, awhile back someone spilled the beans. Turns out she confided in one of my great aunts many years ago. As soon as I heard the name I just about peed myself. A similar name had been mentioned by this same aunt to my uncle a few years ago but somehow in relaying the name to me, it got "edited". You know how that happens. You know the telephone game when you pass along a phrase and by the time it reaches the end it is totally different?? Ya, kind of like that. So this past time it was relayed correctly and the pieces came together and there it was. I knew my answer. I have known this person most of my life. I have seen him in passing and even said hi, and probably other things which I cannot remember. I know his other children, although not very well. That is of course if the info is correct. There is a reason I think it is, which may be all the proof I need, aside from a DNA test , if I decide to pursue this.
Enter excitement. I emailed some of my most trustworthy friends and family immediately.
Then came the questions. .....what do I do with this? I cold email him, should I? How many people actually knew and were just pretending they didn't?? ( because really, how could this be kept secret with both families knowing the same people??) Do I need a lawyer? What if it was not even necessary for me to grow up without him? Did HE know that I am his daughter? How could he not? ....and the list of questions multiplies daily, even now.
So, I know his name. I have questions. Hell, I even have pics of him from the year I was born. How you ask? Well, years ago I found a bunch of old negatives and from holding them up to the light I could see pics of me as a baby, and my grandma. So I took them I developed them. ( because why leave them to rot in the basement??) That is how. I compared them to recent pics of the guy. And to pics of me. And pics of my kids. so, that is how I know.
So where do I go from here? Not sure. I certainly do not want to disrupt anyones life or cause any stress in anyones family. I may just leave well enough alone and let God deal with it in the eternities. Maybe.
( Let's all pretend that this post is all grammatically correct and such because I am simply too darn tired to edit past the first line.)
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Let it be Christmas...
Christmas has once again come and gone. I always feel a little bit sad the day after Christmas because I always feel like it goes by way too fast and I wish it could last just a little bit longer.
It was a tough one this year. hubby is 3000 miles away, and here are me and the kids in this little apartment. For most of December I just wanted Christmas to go away. I was not looking forward to it, and I did not want to even celebrate it. Finances are tight right now, family is far away and the ones that are near did not even call or reach out. I have cousins here in town and an uncle 20 minutes away. It is sad when your own family does not consider you family enough to see you on Christmas. I never understood it, and I guess it would be just as well to simply let it go.
However, Christmas has always been my most favorite time of year, and I know I would regret just letting it slip past me. Plus, I knew I had to pull myself together so the kids could enjoy the Holiday. I prayed constantly, but felt unheard. I felt unloved and abandoned, alone and very sad.
As I mentioned briefly in my last post, we have had many trials set in our way the past few months. I have been running on empty.
The Lord works in mysterious ways. Through friends and even strangers, in my darkest hour yet, I was drawn to my knees in gratitude.
I knew the gifts were not important. In fact, every year people ask me what I want and I say nothing. There may be things I want but I despise greed and feel greedy when I ask for things. And if i want something enough I can go get it myself. I always tell the kids " don't be greedy"...."you will get what is affordable"..."Christmas is not about presents"... etc etc...so I was not worried about presents. I decided that the dollar store and Walmart clearances would be my only stops this year and I was fine with it and the kids were too. We had found a cute little bunny online for next to nothing so we already had what was going to be our main gift this year.
The Lord blesses us according to our needs. And we needed Christmas, and it came. Some certain someones who are very special to me made it possible for us to have that. We were also "secret santa'd" by some very unselfish ward members. Both in the same day within hours of each other. I can't begin to explain how much our family needed that at that specific time.
This Christmas ended up being one of the best. I spent time with people that I have not seen in a very long time, and needed to see. I did see them at Thanksgiving, but seeing them at Christmas was really what I needed. I am not going to name names which is hard because I really want to...but this family, many years ago, unselfishly welcomed me into their home, loved me, and gave me the opportunity to see and be a part of a real family. We lost contact for many years, and I have no real excuse or explanation for it, except that I regret so much that lost time. I really am forever thankful for them and everything they have ever done for me. I have always had them in my thoughts and have thanked God for them countless times.
I do miss my hubby so so much and I wish he could have been here for Christmas. Phone calls just have to be enough for now. I have faith that we will see each other soon, we just have to be patient, do all we can and trust in God.
I love Christmas so much and am so sad that is it over so quickly. But so thankful for the peace it has brought this year to our family. We may be a Country apart, but we are so richly blessed, spiritually. We are still poor for now, but I am fine with that. It could always be so much worse. I prayed for the Christmas spirit and got so much more. I am already planning for next year.... Let it be Christmas!!!
It was a tough one this year. hubby is 3000 miles away, and here are me and the kids in this little apartment. For most of December I just wanted Christmas to go away. I was not looking forward to it, and I did not want to even celebrate it. Finances are tight right now, family is far away and the ones that are near did not even call or reach out. I have cousins here in town and an uncle 20 minutes away. It is sad when your own family does not consider you family enough to see you on Christmas. I never understood it, and I guess it would be just as well to simply let it go.
However, Christmas has always been my most favorite time of year, and I know I would regret just letting it slip past me. Plus, I knew I had to pull myself together so the kids could enjoy the Holiday. I prayed constantly, but felt unheard. I felt unloved and abandoned, alone and very sad.
As I mentioned briefly in my last post, we have had many trials set in our way the past few months. I have been running on empty.
The Lord works in mysterious ways. Through friends and even strangers, in my darkest hour yet, I was drawn to my knees in gratitude.
I knew the gifts were not important. In fact, every year people ask me what I want and I say nothing. There may be things I want but I despise greed and feel greedy when I ask for things. And if i want something enough I can go get it myself. I always tell the kids " don't be greedy"...."you will get what is affordable"..."Christmas is not about presents"... etc etc...so I was not worried about presents. I decided that the dollar store and Walmart clearances would be my only stops this year and I was fine with it and the kids were too. We had found a cute little bunny online for next to nothing so we already had what was going to be our main gift this year.
The Lord blesses us according to our needs. And we needed Christmas, and it came. Some certain someones who are very special to me made it possible for us to have that. We were also "secret santa'd" by some very unselfish ward members. Both in the same day within hours of each other. I can't begin to explain how much our family needed that at that specific time.
This Christmas ended up being one of the best. I spent time with people that I have not seen in a very long time, and needed to see. I did see them at Thanksgiving, but seeing them at Christmas was really what I needed. I am not going to name names which is hard because I really want to...but this family, many years ago, unselfishly welcomed me into their home, loved me, and gave me the opportunity to see and be a part of a real family. We lost contact for many years, and I have no real excuse or explanation for it, except that I regret so much that lost time. I really am forever thankful for them and everything they have ever done for me. I have always had them in my thoughts and have thanked God for them countless times.
I do miss my hubby so so much and I wish he could have been here for Christmas. Phone calls just have to be enough for now. I have faith that we will see each other soon, we just have to be patient, do all we can and trust in God.
I love Christmas so much and am so sad that is it over so quickly. But so thankful for the peace it has brought this year to our family. We may be a Country apart, but we are so richly blessed, spiritually. We are still poor for now, but I am fine with that. It could always be so much worse. I prayed for the Christmas spirit and got so much more. I am already planning for next year.... Let it be Christmas!!!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
What do you do when a Bobcat wanders in....
Ok, so we had some major excitement around here last friday night, and it was just the thing to bring me out of my blogging slump.
A Bobcat in the bathroom.
Yep, that's right, a wild Bobcat in the bathroom!!!!
How?
My Aunt opened the front door for some fresh air and in he walked. Straight into the bathroom and laid down.
Of course Uncle Mark calls Chris at work and tells him to come home right now and see this animal that has wandered into their house. So Chris races home and we all go over to see what all the fuss was about.
Yep, there he was, just making himself at home in the bathroom. Unbelievable.
My facebook page was popular that night. 37 comments. Cool beans.
So anyways, the sherriffs dept and wildlife dept came and got the Bobcat out. Chris and uncle Mark included , it took 7 grown men to get him out. He didn't make a peep the entire time, just wiggled some when they put the snare around him.
While we were trying to figure out what to do, we kept going and opening the bathroom door to look at him and take pics. He just sat there.
Turns out he had been most likely ran over and he was badly wounded. Needless to say, they put him "to sleep". RIP "Shutara" ( of course in all the Facebook hoopla he was indeed named).
Craziness.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
BOO!!!!
Happy Halloween!
In honor of this spooky day I think I'll share a real life ghost story. It happened to me, so you get to hear this first hand!!
"Haunted Old House"
I used to clean houses to make money. One house I cleaned was very old, and even deemed an Historic site ( I saw the plaque). I don't know if it is still considered so, because they have done some renovations on the house since, and Historic houses are supposed to be kept in as much the original state as possible.
This house has the classic haunted house look. Paint chipped on the outside, spooky looking dirty wondows,a tipped over old rocking chair on the creeking porch, old creeky hardwood floors,tall ceilings, narrow long dark stairs, dark closets, and an old armoire in the hall with a cracked mirror. There was even an old broken run down shed in the backyard. The grass and weeds were uncut and dead, and there were tall sick trees in the yard.
When I first started cleaning ast this house, I would always feel like I was being watched. You know, kind of an eerie, spooky feeling. It is an old house, so I figured I was just spooked about how the house looked form the oustide. A few weeks into this job, I really became spooked!
I cleaned when no one was home, so I figured naturally that I was by myself. WRONG!!!!!!!
I was on my way up the stairs to clean the second floor when I heard BANG BANG BANG...like a bat hitting a pipe or something. 3 times. When I reached the top of the stairs it did it again. And after a slight pause, again. I went downstairs and it stopped. Went upstairs and it started again. I took a deep breath and kept on cleaning. The only other incident that day, was the battery operated toys in the playroom. They all started talking and singing at once. I checked and they were all "off". The talking dolls were just too much and thank goodness I was finished my cleanup because I was outta there!!!
I managed a couple more cleanings by myself, and would still hear the banging ,and even got used to the dolls talking and singing.
Then came the footsteps. I would hear the footsteps coming up the stairs behind me after I was already at the top of the stairs. I would also hear them walking accross the main floor while I was upstairs. I would go to the top of the stairs and look down, and they would stop. One time I heard the footsteps upstairs while I was downstairs.
For awhile I made Chris go with me, or take another friend along. The ghost(s) didn't bother me when someone was with me. Just when I was alone. But I couldn't take someone with me every time. It was just getting too silly how scared I was.
I decided I was NOT going to be scared. I started talking to the ghost(s). I would say "it's ok, I am just cleaning your house" and " it's ok, I'm Chantal, just the cleaning lady". And you know what? The ghost(s) did not bother me after that.
I guess they were curious about what I was doing in their house? Or maybe felt threatened? I don't know. Maybe they eventually became comfortable having me there, like I became with them. I think they were just trying to look out for their house. It is a family house, so maybe they were "protecting" their family.
I never did mention any of this to the owner of the house. They may have thought I was crazy, right?!
And ,I admit ,I do miss my ghost(s) sometimes!!!
In honor of this spooky day I think I'll share a real life ghost story. It happened to me, so you get to hear this first hand!!
"Haunted Old House"
I used to clean houses to make money. One house I cleaned was very old, and even deemed an Historic site ( I saw the plaque). I don't know if it is still considered so, because they have done some renovations on the house since, and Historic houses are supposed to be kept in as much the original state as possible.
This house has the classic haunted house look. Paint chipped on the outside, spooky looking dirty wondows,a tipped over old rocking chair on the creeking porch, old creeky hardwood floors,tall ceilings, narrow long dark stairs, dark closets, and an old armoire in the hall with a cracked mirror. There was even an old broken run down shed in the backyard. The grass and weeds were uncut and dead, and there were tall sick trees in the yard.
When I first started cleaning ast this house, I would always feel like I was being watched. You know, kind of an eerie, spooky feeling. It is an old house, so I figured I was just spooked about how the house looked form the oustide. A few weeks into this job, I really became spooked!
I cleaned when no one was home, so I figured naturally that I was by myself. WRONG!!!!!!!
I was on my way up the stairs to clean the second floor when I heard BANG BANG BANG...like a bat hitting a pipe or something. 3 times. When I reached the top of the stairs it did it again. And after a slight pause, again. I went downstairs and it stopped. Went upstairs and it started again. I took a deep breath and kept on cleaning. The only other incident that day, was the battery operated toys in the playroom. They all started talking and singing at once. I checked and they were all "off". The talking dolls were just too much and thank goodness I was finished my cleanup because I was outta there!!!
I managed a couple more cleanings by myself, and would still hear the banging ,and even got used to the dolls talking and singing.
Then came the footsteps. I would hear the footsteps coming up the stairs behind me after I was already at the top of the stairs. I would also hear them walking accross the main floor while I was upstairs. I would go to the top of the stairs and look down, and they would stop. One time I heard the footsteps upstairs while I was downstairs.
For awhile I made Chris go with me, or take another friend along. The ghost(s) didn't bother me when someone was with me. Just when I was alone. But I couldn't take someone with me every time. It was just getting too silly how scared I was.
I decided I was NOT going to be scared. I started talking to the ghost(s). I would say "it's ok, I am just cleaning your house" and " it's ok, I'm Chantal, just the cleaning lady". And you know what? The ghost(s) did not bother me after that.
I guess they were curious about what I was doing in their house? Or maybe felt threatened? I don't know. Maybe they eventually became comfortable having me there, like I became with them. I think they were just trying to look out for their house. It is a family house, so maybe they were "protecting" their family.
I never did mention any of this to the owner of the house. They may have thought I was crazy, right?!
And ,I admit ,I do miss my ghost(s) sometimes!!!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Helloooo out there...
Ok, I know I have been a major slacker around here. I would update you on all things if I could remember where I even left off- and what has happened since then. So I will post things as I remember them, ok?
Lets see...I'm sick. I have this weird never ending lingering flu/cold thing. And it's irritating me. My body is aching, like really aching. Hurts to move aching. And my throat hurts and I have a fever and I'm sooo tired. And I'm coughing. The flu/cold thing has lasted the past week and a half. The achy thing, for about 2 months. So I'm pretty sure the 2 are unrelated. In fact, that reminds me. Awhile back, I woke up to my ankle hurting so bad that I vcould not walk on it. Waited a week for it to feel better because I know I hadn't hurt it. It still wasn;t any better so I went to the doc. After many tests and xrays it was determined that I have psoriatic arthritis. So I'm pretty sure that is what the achiness is. But it still hurts. The pain comes and goes but the achiness stays. So I need to ask the doc if that is to be expected or what.
Kids started school, and so far it's going well. Megan is excited to play the saxaphone in band and Elias is in the gifted program. Nephi is in 7th grade and despises school. What can I expect, he's 13.
I am going back to school -again. This time, pharmacy. I'm very excited. Back in the day I hated school. But now that I'm a grown up, I rather enjoy it.
Well, I should really go clean the house. The new baby kittens have learned how to poop, but have no concept of "PLEASE POOP IN THE LITTER BOX!!!!"
Then I'm going to go take a nap. Because I really don't feel good. Not good at all.
Lets see...I'm sick. I have this weird never ending lingering flu/cold thing. And it's irritating me. My body is aching, like really aching. Hurts to move aching. And my throat hurts and I have a fever and I'm sooo tired. And I'm coughing. The flu/cold thing has lasted the past week and a half. The achy thing, for about 2 months. So I'm pretty sure the 2 are unrelated. In fact, that reminds me. Awhile back, I woke up to my ankle hurting so bad that I vcould not walk on it. Waited a week for it to feel better because I know I hadn't hurt it. It still wasn;t any better so I went to the doc. After many tests and xrays it was determined that I have psoriatic arthritis. So I'm pretty sure that is what the achiness is. But it still hurts. The pain comes and goes but the achiness stays. So I need to ask the doc if that is to be expected or what.
Kids started school, and so far it's going well. Megan is excited to play the saxaphone in band and Elias is in the gifted program. Nephi is in 7th grade and despises school. What can I expect, he's 13.
I am going back to school -again. This time, pharmacy. I'm very excited. Back in the day I hated school. But now that I'm a grown up, I rather enjoy it.
Well, I should really go clean the house. The new baby kittens have learned how to poop, but have no concept of "PLEASE POOP IN THE LITTER BOX!!!!"
Then I'm going to go take a nap. Because I really don't feel good. Not good at all.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Still alive, I promise
I just know you all have missed me oh so much....but I'm still here. Not really blogging, but I do read everyones blog. I've been a lazy commenter too, so I'm sorry.
The flu has made its way around our house twice, and so has the dreaded winter cold that lingers forever and ever. So When I haven't been sick someone in the house has.
One of our cats had a weird seizure thing and died on the kitchen floor. I heavily cloroxed the floors afterwards. Another cat, one of my favorites also died. We aren't sure why. He was sick and just never got better and slowly faded away. We came home from the grocery store and he was dead, in the same place he was sleeping when we left that morning. It was a fairly quick thing. He was very tired one day so we figured he wasn't feeling well. He layed around for a few days. We figured he was resting like we all do when we are sick. Then he was just weak, and then dead. He was a pretty cat, so well behaved. I miss him alot. I was his favorite human.
Elias won first place in his cubscout pack pinewood derby. We went to the district races on saturday but he didn't win anything there. He got to race 3 times before he was eliminated though. I'll post pics later.
Megan had the puberty class at school. I have also had several talks with her about different "things". She knows it all now.
My psoriasis is finally going away. The dermatologist gave me a foam to put on it and it seems to be clearing up. I am supposed to be starting a shot called humira too. If I am approved for it. But if I do the shot, I can't get pregnant yet. And it will suppress my immune system which may not be good, but we'll see. So ,praise the heavens, I will be wearing capri pants this summer for the first time in 3 years!! And short sleeves too!! I have missed being able to dress like it is summer when it is summer!! And I can finally so swimming without people staring at my scabby arms and legs!! I know it sounds silly to you all, but it has been a large factor in my little bout of depression. I feel really unattractive with all the scabs, but they are finally almost gone, so I am happy !!! I won't post pics of my psoriasis, but feel free to google it if you really want to see what severe plaque psoriasis looks like. It's gross. I have a severe form, and when not treated it feels like my skin is burning off. ok, so enough about my scabs...
It doesn't normally snow here but it did snow 3 times this winter. The schools closed and everyone was hunkered down like the end was coming. And it wasn't even what I would consider a "snowfall"., being from deepfreeze Canada and all. But the ground was nicely dusted and all the southerners were panicking. It was funny. I laughed when the news people said they were closing schools due to "severe weather conditions".
well, thats all for now, I will be back tomorrow.
The flu has made its way around our house twice, and so has the dreaded winter cold that lingers forever and ever. So When I haven't been sick someone in the house has.
One of our cats had a weird seizure thing and died on the kitchen floor. I heavily cloroxed the floors afterwards. Another cat, one of my favorites also died. We aren't sure why. He was sick and just never got better and slowly faded away. We came home from the grocery store and he was dead, in the same place he was sleeping when we left that morning. It was a fairly quick thing. He was very tired one day so we figured he wasn't feeling well. He layed around for a few days. We figured he was resting like we all do when we are sick. Then he was just weak, and then dead. He was a pretty cat, so well behaved. I miss him alot. I was his favorite human.
Elias won first place in his cubscout pack pinewood derby. We went to the district races on saturday but he didn't win anything there. He got to race 3 times before he was eliminated though. I'll post pics later.
Megan had the puberty class at school. I have also had several talks with her about different "things". She knows it all now.
My psoriasis is finally going away. The dermatologist gave me a foam to put on it and it seems to be clearing up. I am supposed to be starting a shot called humira too. If I am approved for it. But if I do the shot, I can't get pregnant yet. And it will suppress my immune system which may not be good, but we'll see. So ,praise the heavens, I will be wearing capri pants this summer for the first time in 3 years!! And short sleeves too!! I have missed being able to dress like it is summer when it is summer!! And I can finally so swimming without people staring at my scabby arms and legs!! I know it sounds silly to you all, but it has been a large factor in my little bout of depression. I feel really unattractive with all the scabs, but they are finally almost gone, so I am happy !!! I won't post pics of my psoriasis, but feel free to google it if you really want to see what severe plaque psoriasis looks like. It's gross. I have a severe form, and when not treated it feels like my skin is burning off. ok, so enough about my scabs...
It doesn't normally snow here but it did snow 3 times this winter. The schools closed and everyone was hunkered down like the end was coming. And it wasn't even what I would consider a "snowfall"., being from deepfreeze Canada and all. But the ground was nicely dusted and all the southerners were panicking. It was funny. I laughed when the news people said they were closing schools due to "severe weather conditions".
well, thats all for now, I will be back tomorrow.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
How safe are our kids at school????
ok, so I have decided that this is the year of change for me. Because I am severely bothered by several things right now.
The main thing is something that happened at my childrens school. My daughter wasn't the victim but she easily could have been and the whole thing has changed me. I have been a different person since the incident...which in some ways is good and in some ways its bad. Bad because I am bittter and angry. Good because it has caused me to take a step back and do some serious thinking.
A girl my daughters age was almost raped in the school bathroom.
It happened back in November I think. About the time I stopped blogging as much as I used to. Megan walked in the door after school and says "mom, a girl was almost raped in the school bathroom". She didn't ask what rape is so she obviously already knows. She says everyone is talking about it but that she overheard that the teachers don't want it "getting out". So she says not to tell anyone. This is where my blood started to boil and my face started to burn and I started contacting other parents. The school of course gives out minimal details so God knows I will never get a straight answer form them. They are such a bunch of clowns. There for the paycheck and that is it!!! It has been on my mind every second of every waking moment and I am so angry that I don't know what to do. I wish I could pull my kids out of school and never send them back. I am the most angry because How in the H*** does something like this happen at school!!??? The teacher now sends them to the bathroom in pairs. But that doesn't make me feel much better. I feel like by sending my kids to school I am just throwing them in harms way. And that is not a good feeling.There is a very good chance that my kids will be homeschooled for the remainder of their school days. Because I know that the world is falling apart and this is just the beginning. And I know that if something happens to my kids at school I will blame myself and never forgive myself. I would rather know they are safe no matter how little patience I have witht hem at home 24/7!!! Some parents are brushing this off like it happens all the time and it's no big deal. And that makes me ILL!!!!!!! So , it's eating at me and haunting me and bothering me like crazy. I really want to hear what everyone has to say about this. Don't worry about offending me, I honestly want everyones opinion. I know you read my blog,so come out of hiding and comment!!!What would you do?? Would you pull your kids out of school?
The main thing is something that happened at my childrens school. My daughter wasn't the victim but she easily could have been and the whole thing has changed me. I have been a different person since the incident...which in some ways is good and in some ways its bad. Bad because I am bittter and angry. Good because it has caused me to take a step back and do some serious thinking.
A girl my daughters age was almost raped in the school bathroom.
It happened back in November I think. About the time I stopped blogging as much as I used to. Megan walked in the door after school and says "mom, a girl was almost raped in the school bathroom". She didn't ask what rape is so she obviously already knows. She says everyone is talking about it but that she overheard that the teachers don't want it "getting out". So she says not to tell anyone. This is where my blood started to boil and my face started to burn and I started contacting other parents. The school of course gives out minimal details so God knows I will never get a straight answer form them. They are such a bunch of clowns. There for the paycheck and that is it!!! It has been on my mind every second of every waking moment and I am so angry that I don't know what to do. I wish I could pull my kids out of school and never send them back. I am the most angry because How in the H*** does something like this happen at school!!??? The teacher now sends them to the bathroom in pairs. But that doesn't make me feel much better. I feel like by sending my kids to school I am just throwing them in harms way. And that is not a good feeling.There is a very good chance that my kids will be homeschooled for the remainder of their school days. Because I know that the world is falling apart and this is just the beginning. And I know that if something happens to my kids at school I will blame myself and never forgive myself. I would rather know they are safe no matter how little patience I have witht hem at home 24/7!!! Some parents are brushing this off like it happens all the time and it's no big deal. And that makes me ILL!!!!!!! So , it's eating at me and haunting me and bothering me like crazy. I really want to hear what everyone has to say about this. Don't worry about offending me, I honestly want everyones opinion. I know you read my blog,so come out of hiding and comment!!!What would you do?? Would you pull your kids out of school?
Friday, December 26, 2008
Christmas
Christmas Eve gifts from the Pate Party. I don't remember who had Elias's name,but he got this cool car that can drive on the wall. And a toy wrestler from grandma.Little cousin Harley had Megans name and she gave her the glam girl makeup set. And grandma gave her some cat statues. Elias was TIRED!!!!
On Christmas Eve I gave the kids the quilts I made and a webkinz. Elias a frog and Megan a mommy and baby cat. And of course new pj's. They both already had a webkinz,so they were excited to get more!!
Grandma gave them this little tree for their room, so I put a few little things under their little tree. Good thing I had extra stocking stuffers because before they went to sleep they asked if I could leave some presents under their little tree.
Presents under the tree.Kids FINALLY sleeping. We won't discuss how many times Megan was up during the night. I will just say that I was exhausted Christmas day!!!!
Grandma gave Megan a cupcake maker , and Elias a skateboard.
Megan with her stuff Christmas morning.
Elias with his stuff Christmas morning.
So we had a great Christmas!!! Our smaller budget for the kids went over very well. I don't think they even noticed that they got less. Especially considering they had gifts from other family to open Christmas morning as well. Thats why it looks like alot in the pictures. Our 3 gift thing worked great, the only thing that really happened different than I planned was the nintendo DS situation. I was planning to get a used one for them to share,remember? Well, Chris thought that wasn't such a good idea, since there is so much that comes unknown with used electronics,you know? And also, he thought they each needed their own because he did not want to hear them argue over whose turn it is,etc. I admit it would have been a daily battle to keep it running smoothly. So I gave in and they each got their own DS,cases and one game each and 3 other gifts. Elias's star wars action figures all counted as one, and megans petshop stuff counted as one...bakugan stuff counted as one. I did it that way simply because it made sense to me. For their Christmas morning pictures they arranged all their stuff, including stocking stuffers,gifts from great grandparents and gifts from my family.
I didn't get a picture of Elias with his skateboard,which he got from grandma peggy Christmas day,and his star wars stuff from timothy ( who had his name to buy for on the Deaver side). Megan got a petshop winter wonderland set thingy from Carolina who had her name on the Deaver side(also no picture).I forgot to bring a camera to the family parties. Thank you timmy and Carolina,they loved their gifts!!!!
And Nephi is with his dad so I don't have pics of his Christmas yet. I wish I could see his face though. I sent him a HUGE box full of stuff. A camera,webkinz,blanket made by me,clothes,dvd's,some books,and a stocking stuffed with goodies!!! I can hardly wait until I see him again!!! Few more months to go until I bring him home!!!! Thank goodness for phones and webcams!!!Thursday, November 20, 2008
Ugly fat rat
Look at this thing.
I just happened to be standing at my front door the other day....
NOT spying on the neighbors...
when I saw this gigantic ugly rat just strolling down the lane. Like he owns the neighborhood. Like he doesn't have a care in the world.
Gotta love North Carolina wildlife.
....Fat ugly muskrat who ruined the little pond in my inlaws backyard.
gross.
Friday, November 7, 2008
I hate the school bus
So when the bus driver drops the kids off yesterday,she calls me out there to talk to me. When I got to the bus I saw Megan standing there crying.
There is a kid on the bus who bullies the other kids. Not physically, but verbally. I have the pamphlet on bullying that the school gave all parents at the start of the school year, so I KNOW that what he is doing is bullying.
I read the pamphlet.
And come to think of it, he does hit other kids on the bus,but has never hit mine.
SO anyways, the bus drivers explains to me that this kid,his name is Nick, was telling Megan "yo mama so fat..." jokes. Now I realize that to some people this is funny, and the "yo mama" thing is really..."cool" right now. And in some cases the words "yo mama" are ok to play around with. But not to sheltered and overprotected kids like mine. Megan thought he was actually directing these insults at me. And I understand how she could misinterpret this. Because I am overweight right now. And Because my kids are not allowed to use "yo mama is so fat..." jokes. So Megan lost it. she didn't do anything physical to anyone,she just cried.
And yes, she got in trouble for freaking out on the bus.
And I talked with her about how some people think inappropriate jokes are funny but we don't etc,etc. And I had actually let the whole thing go until this morning when the neighbor girl came to wait for the bus with us. She told me how Nick bugs the other kids and how the bus driver won't do anything about it because "Nick has freedom of speech". Ya.
So when the bus came, my blood was boiling from the fact that she has such a passive attitued about kids who bully other kids. SO I walked to the bus with the kids and called her on it. You should have seen her face. I wish I had my camera. I asked her how this is ok and she replies"well, I can't just make the kids sit and behave". "Um.... ",I said to her,"excuse me? There are things called rules? Don't you think it is kind of rediculous for every kid on this bus to have 'freedom of speech' where they can do and say whatever they want without consequence? Don't you think that will cause problems? And maybe and accident, because it has to be distracting? " She says" yes". I said "ok, well I am going to go in the house and call the assistant principle and see what she says". Well, the bus driver politely dismissed me and drove off with my kids and 50 other kids who are doing and saying who knows what and maybe causing an accident. By now I am BOILING OVER with anger. I cannot believe the attitude of this bus driver.
I used to like her because she was so punctual and comes at exactly 7 am everyday. I have no choice but to have the kids ride the bus. Chris gets home too late in the morning to drive them to school and I don't have a drivers licence. Ya, I know, don't judge. Bad experiences which have made me terrified to drive and therefore don't anymore. But that's for another day.
Hopefully she will return my call. And if she doesn't I will keep calling the school until she speaks to me. Because I want and explanation as to why this kid has so much freedom of speech on the bus and can get away with bullying and hitting but my kid gets in trouble for crying on the bus.
If they don't do anything about it I am calling "5 on your side". The news chanel that gets answers when no one else can. Yep, I am.
Oh, and go here to enter Devri's giveaway. I was sure I had already linkied to it but obviously I did not.
There is a kid on the bus who bullies the other kids. Not physically, but verbally. I have the pamphlet on bullying that the school gave all parents at the start of the school year, so I KNOW that what he is doing is bullying.
I read the pamphlet.
And come to think of it, he does hit other kids on the bus,but has never hit mine.
SO anyways, the bus drivers explains to me that this kid,his name is Nick, was telling Megan "yo mama so fat..." jokes. Now I realize that to some people this is funny, and the "yo mama" thing is really..."cool" right now. And in some cases the words "yo mama" are ok to play around with. But not to sheltered and overprotected kids like mine. Megan thought he was actually directing these insults at me. And I understand how she could misinterpret this. Because I am overweight right now. And Because my kids are not allowed to use "yo mama is so fat..." jokes. So Megan lost it. she didn't do anything physical to anyone,she just cried.
And yes, she got in trouble for freaking out on the bus.
And I talked with her about how some people think inappropriate jokes are funny but we don't etc,etc. And I had actually let the whole thing go until this morning when the neighbor girl came to wait for the bus with us. She told me how Nick bugs the other kids and how the bus driver won't do anything about it because "Nick has freedom of speech". Ya.
So when the bus came, my blood was boiling from the fact that she has such a passive attitued about kids who bully other kids. SO I walked to the bus with the kids and called her on it. You should have seen her face. I wish I had my camera. I asked her how this is ok and she replies"well, I can't just make the kids sit and behave". "Um.... ",I said to her,"excuse me? There are things called rules? Don't you think it is kind of rediculous for every kid on this bus to have 'freedom of speech' where they can do and say whatever they want without consequence? Don't you think that will cause problems? And maybe and accident, because it has to be distracting? " She says" yes". I said "ok, well I am going to go in the house and call the assistant principle and see what she says". Well, the bus driver politely dismissed me and drove off with my kids and 50 other kids who are doing and saying who knows what and maybe causing an accident. By now I am BOILING OVER with anger. I cannot believe the attitude of this bus driver.
I used to like her because she was so punctual and comes at exactly 7 am everyday. I have no choice but to have the kids ride the bus. Chris gets home too late in the morning to drive them to school and I don't have a drivers licence. Ya, I know, don't judge. Bad experiences which have made me terrified to drive and therefore don't anymore. But that's for another day.
Hopefully she will return my call. And if she doesn't I will keep calling the school until she speaks to me. Because I want and explanation as to why this kid has so much freedom of speech on the bus and can get away with bullying and hitting but my kid gets in trouble for crying on the bus.
If they don't do anything about it I am calling "5 on your side". The news chanel that gets answers when no one else can. Yep, I am.
Oh, and go here to enter Devri's giveaway. I was sure I had already linkied to it but obviously I did not.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Halloween
ok, so it was a rough week.
Monday teacher work day, so kids at home which means no relaxing time.Tuesday was the day of the yelling. Wednesday Elias got sent home sick from school. Thursday I was worn out already and stressing over Halloween costumes. And of course Friday was Halloween.But we won't talk about that anymore.Just put it in the past,right?
Ok, so Halloween. It was a busy day. When Chris got home from work in the morning he decided we needed to go buy new tires. Good thing we did because when we got to the tire place,we noticed one of the front tires starting to split. That would have been a disaster having the tire split with the kids in the car,and to get anywhere around here you need to drive awhile. SO we got the tires. Took 2 hours.
Then we stopped at Walmart. I had never been to this particular Walmart because we don't really go to Clinton at all. So we went. I have to say that this walmart had the BEST craft section I had ever seen!!! I think I counted 6 aisles of craft stuff. Plus a sewing and fabric section!!! Plus the back walls. SO more like 10 aisles. It was amazing. They had everything! Of course I couldn't leave without getting something. Or a lot of somethings. I won't say how much money I spent, but lets just say I did not get a cart on the way in and so I had to grab a basket from the basket section and even after that was full I was overflowing and my arms were numb by the time we got to the checkout. Ok, so about 1.5 hours in Walmart. Then home.
By now it was 1pm and I had not slept really at all the night before and I was really hoping for a nap. I tried but could not fall asleep because I knew I still had costumes to finish.
I didn't get any Halloween cookies made. I am still going to make them because I promised them to the kids. So what if it is after Halloween. At least I will be able to say I made them.
Trunk or treat started at 6:30 so at 5 I started getting the kids ready. Elias changed his mind about his costume 20 times just while getting ready!!. Can you say STRESS??!!!! And I had to put an entire new elastic in Megans lady bug tutu. So good thing I started getting them ready early.
We were ready barely on time. SO I did not get any pictures.
And by the time we got home their makeup was all smeared. But a friend of mine took pics at the trunk or treat so I will have some,just not today.
I did however get a few pictures of Booboo while the kids were at school that day. He decided to be a bumble bee. He wore his costume willingly. I think he knew he was being spoiled by getting a fancy costume when the other cats did not.
Anyways, now to battle the sugar rushes. We used to take the candy,hide it in our closet and only let them have 2 pieces per day but that seemed to go on forever and into the next year before all the candy was gone ,so now we just let them have it and in less than a week it's gone. I hate candy so this just makes it be over faster. I don't ever buy them candy so the kids really look forward to Halloween and Christmas and Easter.
This coming week will hopefully be ok. We are having our primary presentation next sunday. Other than that I don't have too much to worry about this week,thankfully.
Unless someone gets sick.
Knock on wood.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Bad Mom Tuesday.
It is only 7:03 am and I already wish the day was done.
I just put my kids on the school bus and I think I will go cry after I write this.
Yesterday was a teacher work day.
Megan had homework on friday. They NEVER have homework on friday.
She did not tell me she had homework, and therefore I could not remind her to do it. You see where this is going.....
So this morning she has an all out FIT because I did not remind her to do her homework. 5 minutes before the bus comes she decides to cry over this. She WAILED about how she needs to stay home now,her life os over,she doesn't want her teacher to me mad......
"FORGET IT " I yelled. Yes I yelled. I yelled About how she better lose the attitude,go to school and face her consequences ( silent lunch-sitting at a table by herself in the lunch room doing homework) or Halloween is cancelled.AT 6:55 am. And I am sure the neighbors heard me.
Then Elias starts crying because my yelling scared him. And he does not want me to cancel Halloween.
I stood my ground. I once again yelled that if there are any attitudes when the bus comes,NO HALLOWEEN.
Trunk or treat is friday and in our ward its one of those ---you can't miss it--- parties. Contests,treats,games,the whole shebang.So of course the sobbing and the wailing continues because I am threatening to cancel Halloween. I didnt know what else to do. It is my only amunition at this point. Their beloved Halloween.
So then I beg them to stop crying by saying I will make Halloween cupcakes today so they can have a nice tasty snack after school.
Silence. Sheesh, if only I had thought of bribing them from the start.
Silly mom.
And maybe she really did forget. But still. She needs to be responsible. She is,after all, 11 years old.
So I hope and pray they have a good day.
I hate sending kids to school after yelling at them. I feel like they are going to be sad all day now. I don't normally yell at them. I only pull that one out when I need it to stop NOW, which in the last few months is rare. Because they have been really good.Which makes it worse. Because now they probably went to school feeling like mama doesn't love them. Which is heart breaking. It has been forever since the last time I had to yell at them before going to school. And the last time I did I ended up calling the school and asking how they were. And telling the secretary how we had a rough morning and I yelled and they cried.And telling her how if Megan says anything to anyone that the reason is because I yelled. And I could feel her thoughts through the phone. She probably thought I had beat her. Which only made it worse. Because I do not spank let alone beat.
So I won't call the school this time.
I feel like a terrible mother. I wish it was tomorrow.
I just put my kids on the school bus and I think I will go cry after I write this.
Yesterday was a teacher work day.
Megan had homework on friday. They NEVER have homework on friday.
She did not tell me she had homework, and therefore I could not remind her to do it. You see where this is going.....
So this morning she has an all out FIT because I did not remind her to do her homework. 5 minutes before the bus comes she decides to cry over this. She WAILED about how she needs to stay home now,her life os over,she doesn't want her teacher to me mad......
"FORGET IT " I yelled. Yes I yelled. I yelled About how she better lose the attitude,go to school and face her consequences ( silent lunch-sitting at a table by herself in the lunch room doing homework) or Halloween is cancelled.AT 6:55 am. And I am sure the neighbors heard me.
Then Elias starts crying because my yelling scared him. And he does not want me to cancel Halloween.
I stood my ground. I once again yelled that if there are any attitudes when the bus comes,NO HALLOWEEN.
Trunk or treat is friday and in our ward its one of those ---you can't miss it--- parties. Contests,treats,games,the whole shebang.So of course the sobbing and the wailing continues because I am threatening to cancel Halloween. I didnt know what else to do. It is my only amunition at this point. Their beloved Halloween.
So then I beg them to stop crying by saying I will make Halloween cupcakes today so they can have a nice tasty snack after school.
Silence. Sheesh, if only I had thought of bribing them from the start.
Silly mom.
And maybe she really did forget. But still. She needs to be responsible. She is,after all, 11 years old.
So I hope and pray they have a good day.
I hate sending kids to school after yelling at them. I feel like they are going to be sad all day now. I don't normally yell at them. I only pull that one out when I need it to stop NOW, which in the last few months is rare. Because they have been really good.Which makes it worse. Because now they probably went to school feeling like mama doesn't love them. Which is heart breaking. It has been forever since the last time I had to yell at them before going to school. And the last time I did I ended up calling the school and asking how they were. And telling the secretary how we had a rough morning and I yelled and they cried.And telling her how if Megan says anything to anyone that the reason is because I yelled. And I could feel her thoughts through the phone. She probably thought I had beat her. Which only made it worse. Because I do not spank let alone beat.
So I won't call the school this time.
I feel like a terrible mother. I wish it was tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tagged by Laura
5 years ago...
1. Running a Daycare out of my house by day and working at Western Wats by evening.
2. Preparing for Nephi's Baptism
3. My sister was living with me in Lethbridge Alberta
4. Elias was 3.
5. Megan called me at work sobbing because she and my sister found our guinea pig Bernard dead in its cage.
Things on my list for today
1. Get appointment with Dermatologist
2. call/email everyone and cancel choir practice
3. get recipe for homemade laundry soap
4. laundry
5. clean the litter box
6. hopefully go to Elias's cubscout meeting
7. clean bathrooms
5 snacks I enjoy
1. salt and vinegar chips
2. chocolate ( but not dark)
3. pickles
4. cheese
5. apples
5 things I would do if I was a millionaire
1. Pay off all debt
2. Buy a new house
3. Buy a new car
4. put aside money for kids college and missions
5. Buy a really nice ring and a bunch of new clothes
oh....and let Chris open a R/C hobby shop
5 places I have lived
1. Regina, Saskatchewan
2. Raymond, Alberta
3. Lethbridge,Alberta
4. Brooks,Alberta
5. Mount olive,North Carolina
5 jobs I have had
1. A&W ( I was the early morning weekend onion ring maker)
2. Wendy's (on and off for 10 years)
3. Western Wats ( market research)
4. Daycare (on and off for 10 years)
5. Office manager
Tag 5 people......
1. April
2. Holly J.
3. Ailyn
4. Karen S.
5. Devri
5 years ago...
1. Running a Daycare out of my house by day and working at Western Wats by evening.
2. Preparing for Nephi's Baptism
3. My sister was living with me in Lethbridge Alberta
4. Elias was 3.
5. Megan called me at work sobbing because she and my sister found our guinea pig Bernard dead in its cage.
Things on my list for today
1. Get appointment with Dermatologist
2. call/email everyone and cancel choir practice
3. get recipe for homemade laundry soap
4. laundry
5. clean the litter box
6. hopefully go to Elias's cubscout meeting
7. clean bathrooms
5 snacks I enjoy
1. salt and vinegar chips
2. chocolate ( but not dark)
3. pickles
4. cheese
5. apples
5 things I would do if I was a millionaire
1. Pay off all debt
2. Buy a new house
3. Buy a new car
4. put aside money for kids college and missions
5. Buy a really nice ring and a bunch of new clothes
oh....and let Chris open a R/C hobby shop
5 places I have lived
1. Regina, Saskatchewan
2. Raymond, Alberta
3. Lethbridge,Alberta
4. Brooks,Alberta
5. Mount olive,North Carolina
5 jobs I have had
1. A&W ( I was the early morning weekend onion ring maker)
2. Wendy's (on and off for 10 years)
3. Western Wats ( market research)
4. Daycare (on and off for 10 years)
5. Office manager
Tag 5 people......
1. April
2. Holly J.
3. Ailyn
4. Karen S.
5. Devri
Saturday, October 4, 2008
sicky cold and motorcycles
I feel like Poo today.
I can't breathe out of my nose,and therefore cannot sleep well. I woke up during the night with snot running down my face.
Sorry about the grossness.
My face feels like a blown up balloon.
I don't feel good.
I haven't posted for a few days so I thought i should write at leat something.
Chris went on a motorcycle trip to the mountains. I worry when he goes riding on that thing. I was not in favor of him buying it in the first place. But it really does save on gas. He has a 40 minute drive to work every night,which HURTS financially with the gas prices so high. He was driving a company truck for awhile but he was told he would get a significant raise if he didn't drive the truck home everyday. the gas was free with the company truck. And he still uses the truck at work.But when we sat down and looked at the numbers,we realized that it would be worth it to get the raise and have the motorcycle to drive to work,and everywhere else that he goes without me. And we got it for a great price,paid for it upfront and did not have to go into debt to do it. Which is a huge plus!!
So he and his buddy took a trip to the mountains this weekend. Chris's parents have a cabin in Burnsville. So that is where they are until tonight. I have worried nonstop. He likes to drive fast on the winding (NARROW) roads but he promised he would be more careful on the motorcycle. He called last night and he is still alive so hopefully he will come home that way. I'm still worried though. praying every second.
Beverly Hills 90210 is airing old reruns on soapnet so I'm going to plunk my fat butt on the couch and and relive the early 90's and will myself back to health. And watch General Conference. Happy saturday everyone!!!
I can't breathe out of my nose,and therefore cannot sleep well. I woke up during the night with snot running down my face.
Sorry about the grossness.
My face feels like a blown up balloon.
I don't feel good.
I haven't posted for a few days so I thought i should write at leat something.
Chris went on a motorcycle trip to the mountains. I worry when he goes riding on that thing. I was not in favor of him buying it in the first place. But it really does save on gas. He has a 40 minute drive to work every night,which HURTS financially with the gas prices so high. He was driving a company truck for awhile but he was told he would get a significant raise if he didn't drive the truck home everyday. the gas was free with the company truck. And he still uses the truck at work.But when we sat down and looked at the numbers,we realized that it would be worth it to get the raise and have the motorcycle to drive to work,and everywhere else that he goes without me. And we got it for a great price,paid for it upfront and did not have to go into debt to do it. Which is a huge plus!!
So he and his buddy took a trip to the mountains this weekend. Chris's parents have a cabin in Burnsville. So that is where they are until tonight. I have worried nonstop. He likes to drive fast on the winding (NARROW) roads but he promised he would be more careful on the motorcycle. He called last night and he is still alive so hopefully he will come home that way. I'm still worried though. praying every second.
Beverly Hills 90210 is airing old reruns on soapnet so I'm going to plunk my fat butt on the couch and and relive the early 90's and will myself back to health. And watch General Conference. Happy saturday everyone!!!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Tagged
Ok, so I am not big on tagging. but this one looked like fun. This is a tag from Devri. My linkage is having attitude... otherwise I would link. Do the tag if you like, that is up to you. List 7 random or weird facts or secrets about yourself. ok, here are mine.
1. I am scared of the dark. I sleep with the kitchen light on. And the master bath light.
2. When I was little we lived in the getto(for real) and people were always trying to break into our house during the night. One time there was a dead man on our lawn when we woke up in the morning. Another time we found a drunk passed out bum sleeping in our car. It was a clunker so I dont think the locks worked. For these reasons I am still traumatized and sleep with a hammer under the bed in case I need to protect myself and the kids. Chris makes fun of it.
We own guns and I know how to shoot them but I dont know how to load them. And I would be too scared to use one even if I needed to. I would probably miss the target. I'm not the best shooter,I need more practice.
3. In high school I took woodshop,mechanics and drafting instead of home ec. because i hated cooking and I already knew how to sew. I built a wobbly stool and failed woodshop,aced drafting and mechanics.I still hate cooking.
4. In kindergarten I was painfully shy and I was too scared to ask to go to the bathroom. So I peed my pants everyday. Then denied it while standing there wet.
5. In high school on a choir trip I had a boy( Justin Byrne...youth conference boy) in my room. He lived in the city we went to and met us at the hotel. There was a rule of no members of the opposite sex allowed in rooms with the door closed. We closed the door. We didnt do anything except talk. Nikki was in the bathroom the whole time documenting it all in her journal. He was my first boyfriend. It was all really lame now that I think back to it,but whatever.
6. I am petrified of needles. I cry and almost faint whenever me or the kids have to have one.
7. When I was little and we lived in the getto, one night in the niddle of the night, a teenager stole a crane from a near by worksite and drove it down our street and crushed our van right in half. My parents didnt know wether to laugh or cry so we all stood outside laughing.
Ok, so thanks for reading. Time to go to bed. Your all tagged, if you want to be.
1. I am scared of the dark. I sleep with the kitchen light on. And the master bath light.
2. When I was little we lived in the getto(for real) and people were always trying to break into our house during the night. One time there was a dead man on our lawn when we woke up in the morning. Another time we found a drunk passed out bum sleeping in our car. It was a clunker so I dont think the locks worked. For these reasons I am still traumatized and sleep with a hammer under the bed in case I need to protect myself and the kids. Chris makes fun of it.
We own guns and I know how to shoot them but I dont know how to load them. And I would be too scared to use one even if I needed to. I would probably miss the target. I'm not the best shooter,I need more practice.
3. In high school I took woodshop,mechanics and drafting instead of home ec. because i hated cooking and I already knew how to sew. I built a wobbly stool and failed woodshop,aced drafting and mechanics.I still hate cooking.
4. In kindergarten I was painfully shy and I was too scared to ask to go to the bathroom. So I peed my pants everyday. Then denied it while standing there wet.
5. In high school on a choir trip I had a boy( Justin Byrne...youth conference boy) in my room. He lived in the city we went to and met us at the hotel. There was a rule of no members of the opposite sex allowed in rooms with the door closed. We closed the door. We didnt do anything except talk. Nikki was in the bathroom the whole time documenting it all in her journal. He was my first boyfriend. It was all really lame now that I think back to it,but whatever.
6. I am petrified of needles. I cry and almost faint whenever me or the kids have to have one.
7. When I was little and we lived in the getto, one night in the niddle of the night, a teenager stole a crane from a near by worksite and drove it down our street and crushed our van right in half. My parents didnt know wether to laugh or cry so we all stood outside laughing.
Ok, so thanks for reading. Time to go to bed. Your all tagged, if you want to be.
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