Just Because

Never forget.

2011-09-11T02:00:00.000-04:00

Ten years ago today my friend walked into my house to drop off her son, and shakily told me to turn on the TV. I kind of wish I hadn't.

She said a plane had crashed into the World trade Center. And there it was, right before my eyes, crumbling to the ground. I don't need to explain the feeling because we all know. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I will never forget the feeling of complete shock seeing those towers fall and I can't begin to fathom the horror and nightmare of being in those towers, of those on the planes, and loved ones at home realizing their lives will never again be the same.

As the day approaches every year, those raw speechless feelings come flooding back and it happens all over again. NYC is home for several family members and friends, and those first hours of not knowing exactly what was happening was disturbing to say the least.

Even as I write this I am lost for words, even ten years later.

I hope peace will eventually come to those who lost loved ones on that dreadful day.

I believe there is a special place in Hell for the Highjackers of 9/11.

I don't know what else to say....

Best kept secret ever.

2011-06-14T00:14:00.000-04:00

I haven't said much on this topic except for one random Facebook status awhile back...I was excited at the time but was cautioned to "proceed carefully". That was around 6 months ago. SO. For the past 6 months I have been thinking. Deeply thinking. Have not proceeded. But I am ready to write about it.

With the help of some extended family members, I have been searching actively for my bio-Dad for about 10 years now. I have always been curious and tried to find info here and there but the real active search has been on for a decade. Wow. ...
.ok and wait. Little insert here: no, my mother has not volunteered any info. She stands her ground firmly that she "does not remember". And no, I am not writing this to hurt anyone. .....

Ok. So anyways, we would come up with little tidbits here and there. Unfortunately my birth records are sealed because when my mom married my step Dad he adopted me. And I don't like referring to him as my step dad because he is the only father I have ever known and so from here on out he will be referred to simply as my dad.

I won't bore you with details, and it's better that way because I need to respect the privacy of certain parties involved.

Basically, my Grandmother had taken any info on this to the grave with her ( or so we thought). I don't know why it never dawned on me to ask her for info while she was alive. I could kick myself for that. Some may think it strange that given my "chaotic history" she would not just straight out tell me. But that is how she was. Anyone who knew her the way I did would know that it is just not in her nature to let the cat out of the bag unless asked to. Unless someone was in danger of course.

So, awhile back someone spilled the beans. Turns out she confided in one of my great aunts many years ago. As soon as I heard the name I just about peed myself. A similar name had been mentioned by this same aunt to my uncle a few years ago but somehow in relaying the name to me, it got "edited". You know how that happens. You know the telephone game when you pass along a phrase and by the time it reaches the end it is totally different?? Ya, kind of like that. So this past time it was relayed correctly and the pieces came together and there it was. I knew my answer. I have known this person most of my life. I have seen him in passing and even said hi, and probably other things which I cannot remember. I know his other children, although not very well. That is of course if the info is correct. There is a reason I think it is, which may be all the proof I need, aside from a DNA test , if I decide to pursue this.
Enter excitement. I emailed some of my most trustworthy friends and family immediately.
Then came the questions. .....what do I do with this? I cold email him, should I? How many people actually knew and were just pretending they didn't?? ( because really, how could this be kept secret with both families knowing the same people??) Do I need a lawyer? What if it was not even necessary for me to grow up without him? Did HE know that I am his daughter? How could he not? ....and the list of questions multiplies daily, even now.

So, I know his name. I have questions. Hell, I even have pics of him from the year I was born. How you ask? Well, years ago I found a bunch of old negatives and from holding them up to the light I could see pics of me as a baby, and my grandma. So I took them I developed them. ( because why leave them to rot in the basement??) That is how. I compared them to recent pics of the guy. And to pics of me. And pics of my kids. so, that is how I know.

So where do I go from here? Not sure. I certainly do not want to disrupt anyones life or cause any stress in anyones family. I may just leave well enough alone and let God deal with it in the eternities. Maybe.

( Let's all pretend that this post is all grammatically correct and such because I am simply too darn tired to edit past the first line.)

Let it be Christmas...

2010-12-26T14:33:00.000-05:00

Christmas has once again come and gone. I always feel a little bit sad the day after Christmas because I always feel like it goes by way too fast and I wish it could last just a little bit longer.
It was a tough one this year. hubby is 3000 miles away, and here are me and the kids in this little apartment. For most of December I just wanted Christmas to go away. I was not looking forward to it, and I did not want to even celebrate it. Finances are tight right now, family is far away and the ones that are near did not even call or reach out. I have cousins here in town and an uncle 20 minutes away. It is sad when your own family does not consider you family enough to see you on Christmas. I never understood it, and I guess it would be just as well to simply let it go.
However, Christmas has always been my most favorite time of year, and I know I would regret just letting it slip past me. Plus, I knew I had to pull myself together so the kids could enjoy the Holiday. I prayed constantly, but felt unheard. I felt unloved and abandoned, alone and very sad.
As I mentioned briefly in my last post, we have had many trials set in our way the past few months. I have been running on empty.
The Lord works in mysterious ways. Through friends and even strangers, in my darkest hour yet, I was drawn to my knees in gratitude.
I knew the gifts were not important. In fact, every year people ask me what I want and I say nothing. There may be things I want but I despise greed and feel greedy when I ask for things. And if i want something enough I can go get it myself. I always tell the kids " don't be greedy"...."you will get what is affordable"..."Christmas is not about presents"... etc etc...so I was not worried about presents. I decided that the dollar store and Walmart clearances would be my only stops this year and I was fine with it and the kids were too. We had found a cute little bunny online for next to nothing so we already had what was going to be our main gift this year.
The Lord blesses us according to our needs. And we needed Christmas, and it came. Some certain someones who are very special to me made it possible for us to have that. We were also "secret santa'd" by some very unselfish ward members. Both in the same day within hours of each other. I can't begin to explain how much our family needed that at that specific time.
This Christmas ended up being one of the best. I spent time with people that I have not seen in a very long time, and needed to see. I did see them at Thanksgiving, but seeing them at Christmas was really what I needed. I am not going to name names which is hard because I really want to...but this family, many years ago, unselfishly welcomed me into their home, loved me, and gave me the opportunity to see and be a part of a real family. We lost contact for many years, and I have no real excuse or explanation for it, except that I regret so much that lost time. I really am forever thankful for them and everything they have ever done for me. I have always had them in my thoughts and have thanked God for them countless times.
I do miss my hubby so so much and I wish he could have been here for Christmas. Phone calls just have to be enough for now. I have faith that we will see each other soon, we just have to be patient, do all we can and trust in God.
I love Christmas so much and am so sad that is it over so quickly. But so thankful for the peace it has brought this year to our family. We may be a Country apart, but we are so richly blessed, spiritually. We are still poor for now, but I am fine with that. It could always be so much worse. I prayed for the Christmas spirit and got so much more. I am already planning for next year.... Let it be Christmas!!!

What do you do when a Bobcat wanders in....

2010-04-20T21:50:00.004-04:00

Ok, so we had some major excitement around here last friday night, and it was just the thing to bring me out of my blogging slump.

A Bobcat in the bathroom.

Yep, that's right, a wild Bobcat in the bathroom!!!!

How?

My Aunt opened the front door for some fresh air and in he walked. Straight into the bathroom and laid down.

Of course Uncle Mark calls Chris at work and tells him to come home right now and see this animal that has wandered into their house. So Chris races home and we all go over to see what all the fuss was about.

Yep, there he was, just making himself at home in the bathroom. Unbelievable.

My facebook page was popular that night. 37 comments. Cool beans.

So anyways, the sherriffs dept and wildlife dept came and got the Bobcat out. Chris and uncle Mark included , it took 7 grown men to get him out. He didn't make a peep the entire time, just wiggled some when they put the snare around him.

While we were trying to figure out what to do, we kept going and opening the bathroom door to look at him and take pics. He just sat there.

Turns out he had been most likely ran over and he was badly wounded. Needless to say, they put him "to sleep". RIP "Shutara" ( of course in all the Facebook hoopla he was indeed named).

Craziness.

BOO!!!!

2009-10-31T10:08:00.003-04:00

Happy Halloween!

In honor of this spooky day I think I'll share a real life ghost story. It happened to me, so you get to hear this first hand!!

"Haunted Old House"

I used to clean houses to make money. One house I cleaned was very old, and even deemed an Historic site ( I saw the plaque). I don't know if it is still considered so, because they have done some renovations on the house since, and Historic houses are supposed to be kept in as much the original state as possible.
This house has the classic haunted house look. Paint chipped on the outside, spooky looking dirty wondows,a tipped over old rocking chair on the creeking porch, old creeky hardwood floors,tall ceilings, narrow long dark stairs, dark closets, and an old armoire in the hall with a cracked mirror. There was even an old broken run down shed in the backyard. The grass and weeds were uncut and dead, and there were tall sick trees in the yard.
When I first started cleaning ast this house, I would always feel like I was being watched. You know, kind of an eerie, spooky feeling. It is an old house, so I figured I was just spooked about how the house looked form the oustide. A few weeks into this job, I really became spooked!
I cleaned when no one was home, so I figured naturally that I was by myself. WRONG!!!!!!!
I was on my way up the stairs to clean the second floor when I heard BANG BANG BANG...like a bat hitting a pipe or something. 3 times. When I reached the top of the stairs it did it again. And after a slight pause, again. I went downstairs and it stopped. Went upstairs and it started again. I took a deep breath and kept on cleaning. The only other incident that day, was the battery operated toys in the playroom. They all started talking and singing at once. I checked and they were all "off". The talking dolls were just too much and thank goodness I was finished my cleanup because I was outta there!!!
I managed a couple more cleanings by myself, and would still hear the banging ,and even got used to the dolls talking and singing.
Then came the footsteps. I would hear the footsteps coming up the stairs behind me after I was already at the top of the stairs. I would also hear them walking accross the main floor while I was upstairs. I would go to the top of the stairs and look down, and they would stop. One time I heard the footsteps upstairs while I was downstairs.
For awhile I made Chris go with me, or take another friend along. The ghost(s) didn't bother me when someone was with me. Just when I was alone. But I couldn't take someone with me every time. It was just getting too silly how scared I was.
I decided I was NOT going to be scared. I started talking to the ghost(s). I would say "it's ok, I am just cleaning your house" and " it's ok, I'm Chantal, just the cleaning lady". And you know what? The ghost(s) did not bother me after that.
I guess they were curious about what I was doing in their house? Or maybe felt threatened? I don't know. Maybe they eventually became comfortable having me there, like I became with them. I think they were just trying to look out for their house. It is a family house, so maybe they were "protecting" their family.
I never did mention any of this to the owner of the house. They may have thought I was crazy, right?!
And ,I admit ,I do miss my ghost(s) sometimes!!!

Helloooo out there...

2009-09-14T17:57:00.002-04:00

Ok, I know I have been a major slacker around here. I would update you on all things if I could remember where I even left off- and what has happened since then. So I will post things as I remember them, ok?

Lets see...I'm sick. I have this weird never ending lingering flu/cold thing. And it's irritating me. My body is aching, like really aching. Hurts to move aching. And my throat hurts and I have a fever and I'm sooo tired. And I'm coughing. The flu/cold thing has lasted the past week and a half. The achy thing, for about 2 months. So I'm pretty sure the 2 are unrelated. In fact, that reminds me. Awhile back, I woke up to my ankle hurting so bad that I vcould not walk on it. Waited a week for it to feel better because I know I hadn't hurt it. It still wasn;t any better so I went to the doc. After many tests and xrays it was determined that I have psoriatic arthritis. So I'm pretty sure that is what the achiness is. But it still hurts. The pain comes and goes but the achiness stays. So I need to ask the doc if that is to be expected or what.

Kids started school, and so far it's going well. Megan is excited to play the saxaphone in band and Elias is in the gifted program. Nephi is in 7th grade and despises school. What can I expect, he's 13.

I am going back to school -again. This time, pharmacy. I'm very excited. Back in the day I hated school. But now that I'm a grown up, I rather enjoy it.

Well, I should really go clean the house. The new baby kittens have learned how to poop, but have no concept of "PLEASE POOP IN THE LITTER BOX!!!!"

Then I'm going to go take a nap. Because I really don't feel good. Not good at all.

Still alive, I promise

2009-03-08T19:44:00.002-04:00

I just know you all have missed me oh so much....but I'm still here. Not really blogging, but I do read everyones blog. I've been a lazy commenter too, so I'm sorry.

The flu has made its way around our house twice, and so has the dreaded winter cold that lingers forever and ever. So When I haven't been sick someone in the house has.

One of our cats had a weird seizure thing and died on the kitchen floor. I heavily cloroxed the floors afterwards. Another cat, one of my favorites also died. We aren't sure why. He was sick and just never got better and slowly faded away. We came home from the grocery store and he was dead, in the same place he was sleeping when we left that morning. It was a fairly quick thing. He was very tired one day so we figured he wasn't feeling well. He layed around for a few days. We figured he was resting like we all do when we are sick. Then he was just weak, and then dead. He was a pretty cat, so well behaved. I miss him alot. I was his favorite human.

Elias won first place in his cubscout pack pinewood derby. We went to the district races on saturday but he didn't win anything there. He got to race 3 times before he was eliminated though. I'll post pics later.

Megan had the puberty class at school. I have also had several talks with her about different "things". She knows it all now.

My psoriasis is finally going away. The dermatologist gave me a foam to put on it and it seems to be clearing up. I am supposed to be starting a shot called humira too. If I am approved for it. But if I do the shot, I can't get pregnant yet. And it will suppress my immune system which may not be good, but we'll see. So ,praise the heavens, I will be wearing capri pants this summer for the first time in 3 years!! And short sleeves too!! I have missed being able to dress like it is summer when it is summer!! And I can finally so swimming without people staring at my scabby arms and legs!! I know it sounds silly to you all, but it has been a large factor in my little bout of depression. I feel really unattractive with all the scabs, but they are finally almost gone, so I am happy !!! I won't post pics of my psoriasis, but feel free to google it if you really want to see what severe plaque psoriasis looks like. It's gross. I have a severe form, and when not treated it feels like my skin is burning off. ok, so enough about my scabs...

It doesn't normally snow here but it did snow 3 times this winter. The schools closed and everyone was hunkered down like the end was coming. And it wasn't even what I would consider a "snowfall"., being from deepfreeze Canada and all. But the ground was nicely dusted and all the southerners were panicking. It was funny. I laughed when the news people said they were closing schools due to "severe weather conditions".

well, thats all for now, I will be back tomorrow.

How safe are our kids at school????

2009-01-07T21:14:00.004-05:00

ok, so I have decided that this is the year of change for me. Because I am severely bothered by several things right now.
The main thing is something that happened at my childrens school. My daughter wasn't the victim but she easily could have been and the whole thing has changed me. I have been a different person since the incident...which in some ways is good and in some ways its bad. Bad because I am bittter and angry. Good because it has caused me to take a step back and do some serious thinking.
A girl my daughters age was almost raped in the school bathroom.
It happened back in November I think. About the time I stopped blogging as much as I used to. Megan walked in the door after school and says "mom, a girl was almost raped in the school bathroom". She didn't ask what rape is so she obviously already knows. She says everyone is talking about it but that she overheard that the teachers don't want it "getting out". So she says not to tell anyone. This is where my blood started to boil and my face started to burn and I started contacting other parents. The school of course gives out minimal details so God knows I will never get a straight answer form them. They are such a bunch of clowns. There for the paycheck and that is it!!! It has been on my mind every second of every waking moment and I am so angry that I don't know what to do. I wish I could pull my kids out of school and never send them back. I am the most angry because How in the H*** does something like this happen at school!!??? The teacher now sends them to the bathroom in pairs. But that doesn't make me feel much better. I feel like by sending my kids to school I am just throwing them in harms way. And that is not a good feeling.There is a very good chance that my kids will be homeschooled for the remainder of their school days. Because I know that the world is falling apart and this is just the beginning. And I know that if something happens to my kids at school I will blame myself and never forgive myself. I would rather know they are safe no matter how little patience I have witht hem at home 24/7!!! Some parents are brushing this off like it happens all the time and it's no big deal. And that makes me ILL!!!!!!! So , it's eating at me and haunting me and bothering me like crazy. I really want to hear what everyone has to say about this. Don't worry about offending me, I honestly want everyones opinion. I know you read my blog,so come out of hiding and comment!!!What would you do?? Would you pull your kids out of school?

Christmas

2008-12-26T22:18:00.007-05:00

Christmas Eve gifts from the Pate Party. I don't remember who had Elias's name,but he got this cool car that can drive on the wall. And a toy wrestler from grandma.Little cousin Harley had Megans name and she gave her the glam girl makeup set. And grandma gave her some cat statues. Elias was TIRED!!!!

On Christmas Eve I gave the kids the quilts I made and a webkinz. Elias a frog and Megan a mommy and baby cat. And of course new pj's. They both already had a webkinz,so they were excited to get more!!

Grandma gave them this little tree for their room, so I put a few little things under their little tree. Good thing I had extra stocking stuffers because before they went to sleep they asked if I could leave some presents under their little tree.

Presents under the tree.

Kids FINALLY sleeping. We won't discuss how many times Megan was up during the night. I will just say that I was exhausted Christmas day!!!!

Grandma gave Megan a cupcake maker , and Elias a skateboard.

Megan with her stuff Christmas morning.

Elias with his stuff Christmas morning.

So we had a great Christmas!!! Our smaller budget for the kids went over very well. I don't think they even noticed that they got less. Especially considering they had gifts from other family to open Christmas morning as well. Thats why it looks like alot in the pictures. Our 3 gift thing worked great, the only thing that really happened different than I planned was the nintendo DS situation. I was planning to get a used one for them to share,remember? Well, Chris thought that wasn't such a good idea, since there is so much that comes unknown with used electronics,you know? And also, he thought they each needed their own because he did not want to hear them argue over whose turn it is,etc. I admit it would have been a daily battle to keep it running smoothly. So I gave in and they each got their own DS,cases and one game each and 3 other gifts. Elias's star wars action figures all counted as one, and megans petshop stuff counted as one...bakugan stuff counted as one. I did it that way simply because it made sense to me. For their Christmas morning pictures they arranged all their stuff, including stocking stuffers,gifts from great grandparents and gifts from my family.

I didn't get a picture of Elias with his skateboard,which he got from grandma peggy Christmas day,and his star wars stuff from timothy ( who had his name to buy for on the Deaver side). Megan got a petshop winter wonderland set thingy from Carolina who had her name on the Deaver side(also no picture).I forgot to bring a camera to the family parties. Thank you timmy and Carolina,they loved their gifts!!!!

And Nephi is with his dad so I don't have pics of his Christmas yet. I wish I could see his face though. I sent him a HUGE box full of stuff. A camera,webkinz,blanket made by me,clothes,dvd's,some books,and a stocking stuffed with goodies!!! I can hardly wait until I see him again!!! Few more months to go until I bring him home!!!! Thank goodness for phones and webcams!!!

Ugly fat rat

2008-11-20T11:15:00.003-05:00

Look at this thing.

I just happened to be standing at my front door the other day....

NOT spying on the neighbors...

when I saw this gigantic ugly rat just strolling down the lane. Like he owns the neighborhood. Like he doesn't have a care in the world.

Gotta love North Carolina wildlife.

....Fat ugly muskrat who ruined the little pond in my inlaws backyard.

gross.

I hate the school bus

2008-11-07T07:15:00.007-05:00

So when the bus driver drops the kids off yesterday,she calls me out there to talk to me. When I got to the bus I saw Megan standing there crying.

There is a kid on the bus who bullies the other kids. Not physically, but verbally. I have the pamphlet on bullying that the school gave all parents at the start of the school year, so I KNOW that what he is doing is bullying.

I read the pamphlet.

And come to think of it, he does hit other kids on the bus,but has never hit mine.

SO anyways, the bus drivers explains to me that this kid,his name is Nick, was telling Megan "yo mama so fat..." jokes. Now I realize that to some people this is funny, and the "yo mama" thing is really..."cool" right now. And in some cases the words "yo mama" are ok to play around with. But not to sheltered and overprotected kids like mine. Megan thought he was actually directing these insults at me. And I understand how she could misinterpret this. Because I am overweight right now. And Because my kids are not allowed to use "yo mama is so fat..." jokes. So Megan lost it. she didn't do anything physical to anyone,she just cried.

And yes, she got in trouble for freaking out on the bus.

And I talked with her about how some people think inappropriate jokes are funny but we don't etc,etc. And I had actually let the whole thing go until this morning when the neighbor girl came to wait for the bus with us. She told me how Nick bugs the other kids and how the bus driver won't do anything about it because "Nick has freedom of speech". Ya.

So when the bus came, my blood was boiling from the fact that she has such a passive attitued about kids who bully other kids. SO I walked to the bus with the kids and called her on it. You should have seen her face. I wish I had my camera. I asked her how this is ok and she replies"well, I can't just make the kids sit and behave". "Um.... ",I said to her,"excuse me? There are things called rules? Don't you think it is kind of rediculous for every kid on this bus to have 'freedom of speech' where they can do and say whatever they want without consequence? Don't you think that will cause problems? And maybe and accident, because it has to be distracting? " She says" yes". I said "ok, well I am going to go in the house and call the assistant principle and see what she says". Well, the bus driver politely dismissed me and drove off with my kids and 50 other kids who are doing and saying who knows what and maybe causing an accident. By now I am BOILING OVER with anger. I cannot believe the attitude of this bus driver.

I used to like her because she was so punctual and comes at exactly 7 am everyday. I have no choice but to have the kids ride the bus. Chris gets home too late in the morning to drive them to school and I don't have a drivers licence. Ya, I know, don't judge. Bad experiences which have made me terrified to drive and therefore don't anymore. But that's for another day.

Hopefully she will return my call. And if she doesn't I will keep calling the school until she speaks to me. Because I want and explanation as to why this kid has so much freedom of speech on the bus and can get away with bullying and hitting but my kid gets in trouble for crying on the bus.

If they don't do anything about it I am calling "5 on your side". The news chanel that gets answers when no one else can. Yep, I am.

Oh, and go here to enter Devri's giveaway. I was sure I had already linkied to it but obviously I did not.

Halloween

2008-11-02T18:47:00.003-05:00

ok, so it was a rough week.

Monday teacher work day, so kids at home which means no relaxing time.Tuesday was the day of the yelling. Wednesday Elias got sent home sick from school. Thursday I was worn out already and stressing over Halloween costumes. And of course Friday was Halloween.

But we won't talk about that anymore.Just put it in the past,right?

Ok, so Halloween. It was a busy day. When Chris got home from work in the morning he decided we needed to go buy new tires. Good thing we did because when we got to the tire place,we noticed one of the front tires starting to split. That would have been a disaster having the tire split with the kids in the car,and to get anywhere around here you need to drive awhile. SO we got the tires. Took 2 hours.

Then we stopped at Walmart. I had never been to this particular Walmart because we don't really go to Clinton at all. So we went. I have to say that this walmart had the BEST craft section I had ever seen!!! I think I counted 6 aisles of craft stuff. Plus a sewing and fabric section!!! Plus the back walls. SO more like 10 aisles. It was amazing. They had everything! Of course I couldn't leave without getting something. Or a lot of somethings. I won't say how much money I spent, but lets just say I did not get a cart on the way in and so I had to grab a basket from the basket section and even after that was full I was overflowing and my arms were numb by the time we got to the checkout. Ok, so about 1.5 hours in Walmart. Then home.

By now it was 1pm and I had not slept really at all the night before and I was really hoping for a nap. I tried but could not fall asleep because I knew I still had costumes to finish.

I didn't get any Halloween cookies made. I am still going to make them because I promised them to the kids. So what if it is after Halloween. At least I will be able to say I made them.

Trunk or treat started at 6:30 so at 5 I started getting the kids ready. Elias changed his mind about his costume 20 times just while getting ready!!. Can you say STRESS??!!!! And I had to put an entire new elastic in Megans lady bug tutu. So good thing I started getting them ready early.

We were ready barely on time. SO I did not get any pictures.

And by the time we got home their makeup was all smeared. But a friend of mine took pics at the trunk or treat so I will have some,just not today.

I did however get a few pictures of Booboo while the kids were at school that day. He decided to be a bumble bee. He wore his costume willingly. I think he knew he was being spoiled by getting a fancy costume when the other cats did not.

Anyways, now to battle the sugar rushes. We used to take the candy,hide it in our closet and only let them have 2 pieces per day but that seemed to go on forever and into the next year before all the candy was gone ,so now we just let them have it and in less than a week it's gone. I hate candy so this just makes it be over faster. I don't ever buy them candy so the kids really look forward to Halloween and Christmas and Easter.

This coming week will hopefully be ok. We are having our primary presentation next sunday. Other than that I don't have too much to worry about this week,thankfully.

Unless someone gets sick.

Knock on wood.

Bad Mom Tuesday.

2008-10-28T07:03:00.005-04:00

It is only 7:03 am and I already wish the day was done.
I just put my kids on the school bus and I think I will go cry after I write this.

Yesterday was a teacher work day.
Megan had homework on friday. They NEVER have homework on friday.
She did not tell me she had homework, and therefore I could not remind her to do it. You see where this is going.....

So this morning she has an all out FIT because I did not remind her to do her homework. 5 minutes before the bus comes she decides to cry over this. She WAILED about how she needs to stay home now,her life os over,she doesn't want her teacher to me mad......

"FORGET IT " I yelled. Yes I yelled. I yelled About how she better lose the attitude,go to school and face her consequences ( silent lunch-sitting at a table by herself in the lunch room doing homework) or Halloween is cancelled.AT 6:55 am. And I am sure the neighbors heard me.

Then Elias starts crying because my yelling scared him. And he does not want me to cancel Halloween.

I stood my ground. I once again yelled that if there are any attitudes when the bus comes,NO HALLOWEEN.

Trunk or treat is friday and in our ward its one of those ---you can't miss it--- parties. Contests,treats,games,the whole shebang.So of course the sobbing and the wailing continues because I am threatening to cancel Halloween. I didnt know what else to do. It is my only amunition at this point. Their beloved Halloween.

So then I beg them to stop crying by saying I will make Halloween cupcakes today so they can have a nice tasty snack after school.

Silence. Sheesh, if only I had thought of bribing them from the start.
Silly mom.

And maybe she really did forget. But still. She needs to be responsible. She is,after all, 11 years old.

So I hope and pray they have a good day.
I hate sending kids to school after yelling at them. I feel like they are going to be sad all day now. I don't normally yell at them. I only pull that one out when I need it to stop NOW, which in the last few months is rare. Because they have been really good.Which makes it worse. Because now they probably went to school feeling like mama doesn't love them. Which is heart breaking. It has been forever since the last time I had to yell at them before going to school. And the last time I did I ended up calling the school and asking how they were. And telling the secretary how we had a rough morning and I yelled and they cried.And telling her how if Megan says anything to anyone that the reason is because I yelled. And I could feel her thoughts through the phone. She probably thought I had beat her. Which only made it worse. Because I do not spank let alone beat.
So I won't call the school this time.

I feel like a terrible mother. I wish it was tomorrow.

2008-10-22T06:00:00.002-04:00

Tagged by Laura

5 years ago...
1. Running a Daycare out of my house by day and working at Western Wats by evening.
2. Preparing for Nephi's Baptism
3. My sister was living with me in Lethbridge Alberta
4. Elias was 3.
5. Megan called me at work sobbing because she and my sister found our guinea pig Bernard dead in its cage.

Things on my list for today
1. Get appointment with Dermatologist
2. call/email everyone and cancel choir practice
3. get recipe for homemade laundry soap
4. laundry
5. clean the litter box
6. hopefully go to Elias's cubscout meeting
7. clean bathrooms

5 snacks I enjoy
1. salt and vinegar chips
2. chocolate ( but not dark)
3. pickles
4. cheese
5. apples

5 things I would do if I was a millionaire
1. Pay off all debt
2. Buy a new house
3. Buy a new car
4. put aside money for kids college and missions
5. Buy a really nice ring and a bunch of new clothes
oh....and let Chris open a R/C hobby shop

5 places I have lived
1. Regina, Saskatchewan
2. Raymond, Alberta
3. Lethbridge,Alberta
4. Brooks,Alberta
5. Mount olive,North Carolina

5 jobs I have had
1. A&W ( I was the early morning weekend onion ring maker)
2. Wendy's (on and off for 10 years)
3. Western Wats ( market research)
4. Daycare (on and off for 10 years)
5. Office manager

Tag 5 people......
1. April
2. Holly J.
3. Ailyn
4. Karen S.
5. Devri

sicky cold and motorcycles

2008-10-04T11:28:00.003-04:00

I feel like Poo today.
I can't breathe out of my nose,and therefore cannot sleep well. I woke up during the night with snot running down my face.

Sorry about the grossness.

My face feels like a blown up balloon.
I don't feel good.

I haven't posted for a few days so I thought i should write at leat something.

Chris went on a motorcycle trip to the mountains. I worry when he goes riding on that thing. I was not in favor of him buying it in the first place. But it really does save on gas. He has a 40 minute drive to work every night,which HURTS financially with the gas prices so high. He was driving a company truck for awhile but he was told he would get a significant raise if he didn't drive the truck home everyday. the gas was free with the company truck. And he still uses the truck at work.But when we sat down and looked at the numbers,we realized that it would be worth it to get the raise and have the motorcycle to drive to work,and everywhere else that he goes without me. And we got it for a great price,paid for it upfront and did not have to go into debt to do it. Which is a huge plus!!
So he and his buddy took a trip to the mountains this weekend. Chris's parents have a cabin in Burnsville. So that is where they are until tonight. I have worried nonstop. He likes to drive fast on the winding (NARROW) roads but he promised he would be more careful on the motorcycle. He called last night and he is still alive so hopefully he will come home that way. I'm still worried though. praying every second.

Beverly Hills 90210 is airing old reruns on soapnet so I'm going to plunk my fat butt on the couch and and relive the early 90's and will myself back to health. And watch General Conference. Happy saturday everyone!!!

Tagged

2008-10-01T20:38:00.006-04:00

Ok, so I am not big on tagging. but this one looked like fun. This is a tag from Devri. My linkage is having attitude... otherwise I would link. Do the tag if you like, that is up to you. List 7 random or weird facts or secrets about yourself. ok, here are mine.

1. I am scared of the dark. I sleep with the kitchen light on. And the master bath light.
2. When I was little we lived in the getto(for real) and people were always trying to break into our house during the night. One time there was a dead man on our lawn when we woke up in the morning. Another time we found a drunk passed out bum sleeping in our car. It was a clunker so I dont think the locks worked. For these reasons I am still traumatized and sleep with a hammer under the bed in case I need to protect myself and the kids. Chris makes fun of it.
We own guns and I know how to shoot them but I dont know how to load them. And I would be too scared to use one even if I needed to. I would probably miss the target. I'm not the best shooter,I need more practice.
3. In high school I took woodshop,mechanics and drafting instead of home ec. because i hated cooking and I already knew how to sew. I built a wobbly stool and failed woodshop,aced drafting and mechanics.I still hate cooking.
4. In kindergarten I was painfully shy and I was too scared to ask to go to the bathroom. So I peed my pants everyday. Then denied it while standing there wet.
5. In high school on a choir trip I had a boy( Justin Byrne...youth conference boy) in my room. He lived in the city we went to and met us at the hotel. There was a rule of no members of the opposite sex allowed in rooms with the door closed. We closed the door. We didnt do anything except talk. Nikki was in the bathroom the whole time documenting it all in her journal. He was my first boyfriend. It was all really lame now that I think back to it,but whatever.
6. I am petrified of needles. I cry and almost faint whenever me or the kids have to have one.
7. When I was little and we lived in the getto, one night in the niddle of the night, a teenager stole a crane from a near by worksite and drove it down our street and crushed our van right in half. My parents didnt know wether to laugh or cry so we all stood outside laughing.

Ok, so thanks for reading. Time to go to bed. Your all tagged, if you want to be.

Tears

2008-09-30T16:22:00.007-04:00

(The above pic is from 2007...i don't have very many nice recent pics of Nephi because he HATES having his pictures taken. He literally runs from the camera.)

I am sad today.
my baby ...a.k.a....oldest child, Nephi, turned 13 yesterday. I can't believe it. How dare he grow up!!!!..just yesterday he was a teeny tiny baby that was born 4 months premature,fought for his life after heart surgery, and beat the odds when he lived with no preemie side effects.
Here's how it went.
His father was very abusive. And me being pregnant did not make a difference in how violent he was. I will spare you the gruesome details of all that though. Those who were around me at the time know what I am talking about. I, too, am lucky to be alive. I don't think I have to tell you how I went into premature labor. Basically if you are thinking the worst,you are right.

I was very young,just 18 at the time. I had not been to prenatal classes yet,or read any books on pregnancy. I was estranged from my family at the time and had no one to tell me what to expect. No one to tell me what to read or how to prepare. I had no idea there was even such a thing as premature labor.
I went into labor in my 16th week.I was in labor for 3 days. By the 3rd day the pain was so bad that I could not walk and all I could do was lay in bed sceaming from the pain. The reason it went on for 3 days was because Nephi's dad refused to take me to the hospital. ( he was mad at me for missing work).When he finally did, the doctor said we needed to deliver now. Huh? what!!??? I had no idea what he was talking about. I went into it blind in the sense that I had NO idea what was going on. Nephi was out in about 5 minutes. He had been in the birth canal for at least 2 days ,So he was black and blue. His skin was transparent, and he did not even have real fingernails yet. He weighed under 2 pounds. The doctor told me to not get my hopes up because he only had a 5 percent chance of surviving. Despite all the turmoil in my life at the time I was still as active in church as I could be. And at that moment I felt no fear,just comfort and without thinking I told the doctor "NO, he will live". The medical staff was hesitant but went ahead and got to work on him. They put him in a bed of tinfoil and saran wrap...to simulate the warm womb I guess. They needed to keep him heated. He had tubes coming out of...everywhere!!!His lungs were not fully developed so he could not cry,or breathe on his own but he could move his arms and legs. He was alive and I had no idea yet what a miracle it was that he lived. I am still trying to process all that 13 years later!!! He was given a blessing by my father in law at the time and some other priesthood in the ward. He was then ailrlifted to Foothills hospital in calgary and that was Nephi's home and Mine for the next 4 months. I lived in a hostel,in a little room all by myself and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I did not have very many visitors and I was lonely and depressed. not to mention I was still a teenager so I did not fully understand everything that was going on or the seriousness of it. The medical talk was all foreign to me and nobody tried to help me understand. One Foreign doctor even tried to get me to hand over my baby for experimental blood transfusions!! Thankfully I had at least enough sense to tell him to back off. I really had no support system there with me but we got through it. Heavenly Father carried me through those horrible months and watched over my son, and he lived. He had heart surgery shortly before he was old enough to come home, and other than that has had no health problems at all. Preemies have to go to the doctor for frequent check ups every few months. The doctors were always amazed at how he pulled through with no health problems. They would call in the rest of the staff and say "come look at this baby. Can you believe this!??" I would just smile to myself becausae I knew exactly how it was possible. The Priesthood is real and it is healing,even when it is not humanly or scientifically or medically possible,when it is the Lords will. And Like I said before, i am still processing everything that happened. But I do know that I am so so thankful that I was in tune with the spirit enough to tell the doctors to please not give up. the fact that I was immediately comforted tells me that my son was meant to live. He has a purpose here on this earth today.I believe there were angels in the delivery room that day...
Nephi is very smart. He is a sience guy. Not into sports. he can tell me the inner workings of any comuter,tv,or electronic device and it is completely over my head. He's smart. He reads his scriptures without me reminding him. 2 chapters every night. Thats more than I read, I am ashamed to admit.
I can't believe he is 13. A teenager. I am not ready for the teen angst and rebellion. Hopefully with him there will be none of that. He's too good a kid. He's too special. It makes me sad because I want my kids to stay little. We haven't even been to Disneyworld yet!!!
My kids are growing up. Too fast. Time does not last long enough.
I will add a picture later when I get to the other computer..so be sure to check back,Nephi's a handsome one!!!

(oh, and for the record, I did leave the abusive monster,but thats another long story....And i am happily married now as you all know, to a perfect man. For real. He's perfect.)

Impressed with myself

2008-09-27T11:17:00.007-04:00

Yes, I am. So impressed indeed. I finished Megans quilt. She will get it for christmas so it is a secret right now. I am excited that it turned out so well. The back of the quilt is a sheet. Megan does not like the top sheet on her bed. It gets all wrinkled underneath the blanket and it drives her crazy. So rather than leave it sitting in the linen closet I decidede to use it as the back of the quilt. I need to iron out some crinkles,which ,I know, I should have done before I sewed it all together but I am an amateur quilt maker and it just didn't occurr to me to do it. I also have been told that is is a good idea to wash the fabric before sewing. I have never ever washed my fabric before sewing. I have never had a problem from not prewashing so I guess its just a personal decision. I am really enjoying this. I finally have time to do things like this again. I used to make all Megans dresses when she was little and then, well, life happened and sewing and crafting took a back seat to everything else. I am excited to be in a place now where i can have actual hobbies for myself. Very excited.And I have a wonderful hubby to thank for it. He works hard for us to have what we want.Next is Elias's. I got the fabric for his yesterday. I have a sheet to use for the back of his too. I'll show it to you in a few days when it is finished. yay!!

Sunday thought: Tithing

2008-09-21T10:37:00.003-04:00

I am sick today and therefore skipping curch.

One thing I struggle with sometimes is paying tithing. I know I need to and I know it is the right thing to do. but sometimes I can't help but feel a tad greedy,especially right now, because I really want to buy some Alexander Henry apples and pears fabric. And I AM going to pay my tithing.I will not let myself be greedy. I just feel like, this fabric was hard to find and I really want it and I can still get some, just not as much as if I kept that tithing money. But honestly, I would feel guilty. And how would I tell Chris that I spend his tithing money on fabric? Yeah, would not be a cool thing to do. So I will get a little bit of fabric, and next week ,hopefully, I will still be able to find somemore. Really, I looked all over for it. Cally told me where she got hers and I got all excited just to find out they don't have anymore. But I did find some. A little more than my price range,but I am willing to pay it because I really love it. I am doing valances for my kitchen with it.Maybe a matching apron so I can look all domestic and cute at the same time like June Cleaver.
Anyways, back to tithing.
Years ago ,when I was a single mom of 3, I was faced with the tough decision of buying groceries,or paying my tithing. I was always able to provide my kids with all their needs, and most of the time even their wants,but I had a tough month work wise and that months pay just wasn't enough. We barely had any food in the house. Normally I had enough food stored for months like this,but we had used it and I hadn't had the chance ,or the money, to replenish it.I had some other money but I could not risk having the lights cut off and as a woman alone with 3 kids I needed a working phone.I gathered the kids together and explained that we wouldn't be able to have our movie night(we always either rented movies,or went to the dollar theatre on friday nights),and we could not go shopping for food because I really had to pay tithing. So I did. nephi,who was 8 at the time, and newly baptized, asked how we were going to get food. I explained that if we pay our tithing that Heavenly Father will not let us go hungry.We need to have Faith and through Faith miracles happen. I promised him we would get a miracle if we did what was right. We would be provided for. (In my mind though I was terrified of my kids going hungry. I was worried deep down that having no food for my family was punishment for other things I had done in my past.)I told him that we just needed to get on our knees and ask Heavenly Father to provide mommy with more work,and hopefully some work where I could be paid right away. So we did. We knelt and said a prayer and I tucked the kids into bed. It was friday,so we were having our weekly friday night campout in the living room. The doorbell rang,I am not even kidding,less than 20 minutes after we ended the prayer. It was sister Pollack. We were serving in primary together at the time.She did not know about my financial situation-nobody did. She explained to me that there was a ton of food left over from the church function that night. ( our ward had over 700 members so it was rare to have anything left over after a function).She said my name came to her mind as she was leaving the church and she decided to bring it right over to me. She said she didn't know why but she was sure I needed it. After we brought the food in, I noticed Nephi standing there with his mouth open,jaw to the floor. And he shouted out "mom, you were right!!!it's a miracle!!!" I could not believe it either. I was simply hoping for some extra work ,which I did get,but we were provided with food immediately too. I told the kids we needed to get on our knees and thank God for this miracle. And we did. And There was so much food that it lasted about 4 weeks. I think about this every week when I am faced with my greedy thoughts(unfortunately there are many). It doesn't take long for me snap into reality and know what I need to do and I do it with a happy heart. I think about that night everyday when I am faced with problems and I remember how God works in ways that we don't even realize and can't fully comprehend in this life. Sister Pollack was in tune with the spirit and through her our prayers were answered.Not to mention all the sisters in the ward who cooked way too much food that day!!! To them I will always be grateful. Because not were we able to eat and not go hungry,but this was the moment when Nephi knew the church is true without a doubt. He told me so.I hope my kids grow up always remembering that night.For me, the best part was watching my children see their prayers anwers right before their eyes!!!

dear Nikki

2008-09-20T15:17:00.011-04:00

please excuse the picture. It is a picture of a picture since i have no scanner, and picnik was freezing up on me so this is what you get to look at.

My dear dear childhood friend is getting married today. We have known each other since we were about 2 years old. We are now 32...long time. I wish I was there to see it, and if we hadn't lost touch for so many years I probably would be. I regret losing touch. I have missed her a lot. After I graduated high school and moved out on my own, I lost touch with just about everyone who ever mattered to me. My fault.A lot of things happened and as a result, I just wanted to be left alone, and just stopped communicating with everyone.. That is my number one regret. If I could turn back time that is the one thing I would change. I would have been so much happier with certain people being a part of my life. but I chose another path and my life was a mess. I do have 3 children who I love more than anything else. I wouldn't want to be without them, but I certainly would have done a lot of things differently along the way. I was out of communication for about 15 years. I finally found a perfect man (for me) 3.5 years ago,and started making amends with friends and putting the pieces of me back together. When I married Chris almost 3 years ago I realized that life really can be all that I have wished it could be. Don't get me wrong, my 3 kids are everything to me...they kept me afloat and I feel like I have always been a good mother. I could have done better at times but paretning is a learning process as most of you know.My kids made me happy. They were all I had,or so I felt for a long time. I wish I could have shared those years with friends.Nikki is the one I have missed the most. Our friendship was the one thing that held me together for so many years growing up. Especially the teen years. While for a lot of reasons those years were the worst for me, they were also the best. I was looking through some old pictures the other day and found a strip from a photo booth of me and Nikki, and a bunch from girls camp,a temple trip back when we were 12,church dances,youth conferences, prom..she was at my prom. She came all the way from saskatchewan to alberta to go to my prom. She was my friend steve's date. I just wish we would have stayed good friends all these years. We only recently reconnected on Facebook,of all places. I am glad we did.In a small way I feel like we picked up where we left off,but at the same time,there is a lot of new things to learn about each other. We have both been through a lot of experiences,trials,and life changing moments without each other and the reconnecting will be a long process. we may never be as close as we once were but I am glad to have her back in my life,even if it is only in cyberspace. She is getting hitched as I write this and I wish so badly that I was there. She is Nicole Bedford now. Nicole, if you read this, I want you to know that I am sorry for losing touch. I miss our friendship. I am so excited for you today...you're a real grown up now!!!!!!

Judge not,ok?

2008-09-11T07:40:00.007-04:00

As you can tell by my last post, I have a huge amount of pressure on me right now. I know that is normal for a wife and mother but sometimes it gets to be too much. There are times when I honestly understand why some people just give up. The past couple weeks have been rough on our family in just about everyway. But the thing that is consuming me the most is how people pass judgement when they don't even know the person.

Megan is ADHD. She has actually calmed down alot though so I usually just say ADD now.She was officially diagnosed in kindergarten but we have been working with a therapist since she was 3. Her tantrums were so bad that I literally did not know what to do except give in. The tantrums would last for hours and there was no peace to be found anywhere. And it would be over little things like having to go to bed or the wrong color shirt.

You know when you feel frazzled and agitated and lost and just can't seem to focus or get motivated or concentrate? That is how an ADD/ADHD brain functions all the time. Our therapist explaines it to me this way. Megan is chemically imbalanced.Her brain is constantly short circuiting. Even though she is 11, her brain may only function like she is 5 which is why some situaitons cause more stress than others. Like school, and some social situations. She can't help it. And at the same time, if she does happen to focus on something she needs to be able to finish it or it throws her into a tailspin of confusion, agitation,and frustration.Her brain chemicals are just a bit wonky(got that word from cally).

We worked with the most amazing 2 child therapists I have ever met for about 4 years. I learned how to manage her behavior without medicating her. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I had 2 other kids to look after and at the time I was a working single mother. I had no family living near me to help me with the kids. No child care for when the kids were sick so between Megans weekly appointments and sick kids I missed a lot of work, yet was still able to provide for my kids.I look back and see how the Lord really carried me through those years. I was blessed hugely.My boys are so good. They love their sister and have always been so accepting of her little quirks. They will do things for her to make her life easier which most kids would not willingly do. They don't pick fights with her and help her any way they can.

Megan has come a long way. she used to have these uncontrollable tantrums. it was not due to unfit parenting like some still think. She still has the occasional outburst and most people that are with her regularly know how to handle her. But I seem to be the only one who can really get through. It is extremely hard, but I love her so it is worth it to me.

She struggles in school and was held back in 3rd grade which was embarrassing for her. But she soon realized that another girl from church is also in her grade because of the birthday cutoff. So, it wasn't so bad to be a year behind after that and she managed to pass her grade and even got a math award in 4th grade last year. Huge milestone for her. We were very proud.

she is extremely artistic. She can take playdough and make these teeny tiny animals out if it the size of my fninger tip. They are so cute and very detailed. She can draw things from memory that look what they are meant to look like. She can knit and sew and she can cook. She loves to clean toilets. She loves cats and is kind to all animals and very nurturing towards them. She has trouble with social skills but has some close friends who love her no matter what. Her teachers at school tell me she is the sweetest girl they have ever met. This is huge because school used to be where most of the trouble was.

She is chemically imbalanced and I know everyone has different views on medication kids with ADD and ADHD. I have tried all sorts of meds and diets and therapy. I don't like meds. For Megan the side effects were not worth it.Therapy works best for us. During our time in therapy I was given several tools to dealing with Megan that I put to use on a daily basis. I don't get to socialize like I used to and I only occasionally leave her with a babysitter. But it works for us and she makes more progress each year.

I have seen kids who are bad because it really is the parents who spoil and give in and act like their kids are angels when everyone else around them can see they are not. These are the parents who judge me and my parenting and my child. I get so tired of it. i used to expain to everyone I met about Megan and her special needs. But after so many years I realized that people are going to gossip and judge and be rude anyways so I stopped explaining myself to people. Because it really doesn't matter. I do my best, megan is progressing and can almost get through most days without incident. I follow through with consequences each and every time which is hard work but necessary for these types of kids so they can learn limits and boundaries. I give her step by step guidance. For instance I can't just say to her "go get ready for school" like I can the boys. I have to give her step by step instructions. It takes more time but it helps her focus and not get frustrated. Her teachers have learned to do the same. She gets special help each day at school for an hour, where she works on her reading and work she is having trouble with that day. her school has been wonderful working with her so far.I used to have to tell her ahead of time other things like what the schedule was for the day if there was no school, who was coming over,what was going to be for dinner, when tv time was over etc. These kinds of kids can't handle being caught off guard so the more warnings for transitions the better.I don't have to do that anymore which is another huge milestone for us. She now knows that transitions are necessary and are going to happen and that she will be able to go back to her previous activity later. She accepts rules even though she may gripe about them, but seriously,what kid doesn't.

When she is older I will let her decide if she wants to try meds. Who knows, she may decide to when she becomes an adult and that is fine because she has also come to know the best tools to help herself as well. She knows what ADHD/ADD is and she knows when she needs a breather to just chill and regain some focus. It is important to not keep these kids in the dark about their "condition". It shouldn't be an embarrassement or anything to be ashamed of.It's just one of those things we need to overcome in life.These kids need to know that it doesn't mean they are bad. They will be so much more confident with themselves if parents are upfront with them and teach them the tools they need to deal with life and people.

Megan is an amazing child and anyone who does not take the time to know her is missing out. She is a handful but she really does not have bad inentions.

My purpose of this post is for people who know me to gain some insight into why Megan is the way she is. And I have reached my tolerance limit as far as the gossip is concerned. So there you have it. That's Megan. We love her.

Blah Blah Blah

2008-09-10T21:38:00.004-04:00

Thats how I feel.

I have had so many things running through my mind at a million miles an hour. I don't know where to start.
There is going to be a lot of random babble in this post. Just letting you know. ok, here goes.

how does one think it is ok to tell my daughters best friend not to hang out with her anymore. I'm not talking kids here. This was an adult. And she said it in front of my daughter. I wish I was there when it happened. I really don't like confrontation. However, when it comes to my kids, and things are said that shouldn't, the claws come out. They were playing. You know, like kids do? And the person who shall remain nameless so as to not make me a gossipper needs to mind her own beeswax. My daughters friend is much more rowdy and loud than Megan is. her mom will even say so. Yet this person has the nerve to tell her that she should stay away from that bad girl Megan . WHAT???!!!! Her kids weren't even involved so what in the world was she doing poking her nose in where it clearly did not belong.And Megan and her friend were having fun and actually not being loud at all. Then she sent her 5 year old daughter to stand and watch them.(they said the staring creeped them out). I mean, really, what the heck did I ever do to her!!? I have seen her talk about me before. I can shake that off. But talking about my kid?? Not cool.

A friend of mine had something awful happen to her years ago and just recently an obnoxious boy person who we have grown up with since we were zero years old,and who is by the way 1 year younger than us, had the nerve to tell her in so many words that it was her fault. I won't go into details because she is someone who I will always love and always defend even though we are not as close as we used to be, and I want to protect her privacy. But I am mad. He had no right to say what he did. No always means NO. I hope he reads this and feels foolish for what he said.He'll know who he is and I secretly hope that what he said to her comes back to bite him one day. Sorry, I know that was ugly of me to say.

Men who date other women while still married and living as a married couple with their wife are pigs. Not cool,ok? It was NOT my husband who did this. just thought I would say that to curb the rumors that may fly. My husband is so by far NOT a pig.He's great.

next

do adults have the right to discipline other peoples kids? I'm talking about when I am RIGHT there. Is it cool? No, not to me. This happened and I am still unsure of how to handle the situation. cause you know, I know my kids better than anyone and maybe I know what discipline tactics are the best to use. And are acceptable to me. Thats important. Hmm.

If I sound bitter and in a bad mood its because i am. Sometimes I just wonder what people are thinking. Seriously. And that is basically what has been going on with me other than being sick with the aky shaky flu,kids,housework, etc etc.

On a happier note, I feel a bit better now. Thanks for listening. Advice is appreciated.

Keeping it Sunday

2008-08-31T19:27:00.003-04:00

So I was sitting in sacrament meeting today and kept thinking about blogging. Don't get me wrong. The meeting was excellent. Great speakers,great music, I learned a lot, I was inspired, I was touched, I was reminded of a lot of things that of course I know but seem to forget sometimes even though I know better. I couldn't help it though. My mind kept wandering over to the blogsphere.(Sheesh,Do you think I am addicted??) So I decided that if I absolutely needed to blog today that it would be spiritually oriented.

One thing that has struck me like a bolt of lightning lately is food storage. For the last few months or so it seems to be mentioned in every meeting. And last week, stake conference seemed to somehow revolve around food storage and family preparedness. My husband and I have been talking alot about it lately too. We both feel a sense of urgency to get in the game and be more prepared. We have seriously slacked in the food storage area. So we have been making some changes around here. Some of which were not voluntary but seem to have happened for a reason. This reason. Getting prepared.

We got rid of our nice expensive wonderful to ride in the heated seats in the "winter"(because north carolina doesnt have real winter,it just gets a bit nippy. No snow where we are,just a little nip in the air. But to everyone here it is winter) truck and got a less expensive vehicle which is just as reliable but not as fancy. And its better on gas. And we are grateful that it has allowed us the extra money to get prepared.

At the time we thought it was going to be the end of the world without our beautiful truck (we really loved that truck) but have since realized that there are way more important things. We prayed alot about the truck and it took us awhile to accept what we had to do. We knew what we had to do from the beginning,but at the time we didn't know what we would do for transportation. We live out in the boonies so transportation is a must. So we were confused,scared,and I am ashamed to say even unwilling to give up the truck. But once we did, we felt the most relief we had ever felt, and right away we were presented with an opportunity at purchasing a less expensive car.

Divine inspiration,people.

So here we are with our less expensive car ,and Uncle Mark comes to Chris one day with an opportunity to make more money. We prayed about it and decided it would be a good idea even though we could get by on what chris was already making. We would at least try it.

I see him less, because of his work hours, but our time together is all the more better because we appreciate it more. We don't bicker as much about stupid things.

Yesterday Chris was told that he needed to go in to work first thing sunday morning. Right away chris said no, he needed to keep his sunday work as close to none as possible. At first he was told that wasn't possible and Chris just said,well, too bad then. Now this could have been the end of his job. But instead, he was then told,ok. And he didn't have to work today. It would have been more money, and a few months ago he probably would have gone into work even though he knows better. I am proud of him for taking that stand even though it could have left him jobless. Our faith seems to be growing more by the day...thats what happens when you have your priorities straight!!

I won't bore you with the other small changes we have made. I just wanted to mention the most significant ones to get my point accross. My point being, now we can afford food storage. And looking back, having that truck was silly. I can't believe that for awhile there that truck was on our top priority list. I know, selfish and foolish. We lost sight of the eternal perspective. Its easy to sometimes when you want something (like a pretty truck) so bad.But we have learned. We are grateful to be so blessed and we have grown as a couple because of it. Life really does go a lot smoother when you put the Lord,his teachings, and family first.

Now, I need to know a few things. I seem like a fool here, but I don't have a clue about food storage. A friend of mine said get stuff we actually eat, and slowly build it up.
ok, so we now have enough soup and string beans to feed the ward, now what? Where do I get wheat? How do I use it? How do I store water,rice,flour and all that stuff so that it doesn't go stale? DOES it go stale? How much of everything do I need?What about meat?...... The freezer? I don't have a big freezer. And I don't want to fill a freezer in the first place. How would I transport a freezer full of meat to the mountains for the great gathering without it thawing and rotting and being wasted??

Have you read The Great Gathering? Great book by Chad Daybell. Available at all LDS bookstores and online. I posted about it awhile back.

Now back to food storage. I should have been paying more attention on the matter. I need help. Advice. Suggestions. ...

...I'm waiting.

school bus fiasco-on the first day!!

2008-08-25T17:07:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I am a very panicky mother. The panickiest. School gets out at 2:45. The drop off time for my kids is about 3:15-3:25. Today they got home after 5:00.

Oh, why???

Because the bus driver broke her leg. Therefore the kids were stranded on the bus for over an hour waiting. Its hot outside. and inside the bus where there is no air conditioning. Then the sub was lost and kept going around in circles. The sub told the kids to tell me she was sorry.

I went into panic mode at about 4:00. I do know that sometimes they are late leaving the school for whatever reason so I waited to panic. I was shaking,breathing heavy,stressed out.
The principle kept saying"call back if they are not home in 10 minutes". Finally, the last time I called the first thing he said was "mam,the kids are ok". I thought, OH NO. Then he told me the situation.

The kids are fine. In fact they were excited to have something "cool" happen on the first day of school.

First day of school.

2008-08-25T08:57:00.005-04:00

First day of school today. The house is quiet. I'm not hearing "mommy" every 5 seconds. I can sit at my computer without interruption. I may take a nap later. Maybe watch a show the whole way through. Clean the bathroom. take a walk. Do some assignments and catch up on the school I was supposed to have done over the summer but didn't because i was too busy answering questions,taking kids swimming,mediating arguments, making cheese fries,looking for teeny tiny barbie shoes that probably fell down the vent,dishing out childrens tylenol and bug bite cream,going to Mcdonalds,listening to elias recite his favorite movies word for word,doing endless laundry because they dont hang up their swimming towels and the cat therefore pees on them, doing endless dishes because the words "use ONE cup and set it by the sink so you can use it again" means nothing to them and by the end of the day there are 50 cups waiting to be washed so we can do it all again the next day.

On the other hand, I am one of THOSE parents who calls the school at random times to check on the kids. I feel sad everyday when they leave me to go to school.I stand on the front porch and wave and blow kisses when the kids get on the school bus, calling out to them their "be safe " intructions. I'm there in the same spot on the porch when they get off the bus at 3:30. I worry all day about wether or not they are having a good day. I worry about all the "what-ifs". Like, what if their feelings get hurt. What if they bang their head too hard on the playground and go into a coma and the school doesn't call me. What if the school bus gets hijacked. What if the school bus gets into an accident. What if an older kid does something inappropriate to my kids. What if there is a fire and my kids are in the bathroom and no one waits for them or looks for them. What if one of the kids gets lost on the field trip. What if what if what if.

So, as great as it is for the kids to be out of my hair,I wish they were in my hair so I can keep them safe.

The batteries in my camera died and chris used my "Im saving these for the first day of school in case the batteries in my camera go dead" batteries for the new plug in paintball video game controller that requires a screwdriver and chisel to pry open the battery compartment. I did not have time for this five minutes before school bus time.

So I have no pics from this morning.

ok, here it is

2008-08-22T12:24:00.005-04:00

Ok, so I know I was very hiped about this. Because I was totally freaked out and excited at the same time. But really. how many people can say they have a freaky picture of a war skeleton.

Chris has been to this place many times and knows it well. He has been on this river in this same spot many times and has never seen any skeletons.This is the only picture from the trip that the image is in. the pic was taken at the neuse river,about 10 minutes from our house. The woods you see was the site of one of the bloodiest battles of the civil war.

ok, now look at the first pic. You can see a shadow that looks like a rifle in the woods. See it??

now look at the zoom in I did.

Is your hair standing on end?? Mine did, Chris saw it. And I have very long hair.

And Like I said, all the other pics from the trip are only woods,no sleletons.

And I promise the picture has not been doctored.

And I own copyright.

Pray

2008-08-21T18:17:00.002-04:00

Read this and think about it for awhile.

I have always relied very heavily on prayer. It has been a constant in my life since I was very young. It was how I survived.

But today after reading aprils post I really thought hard about how important prayer really is.

When we pray we don't only pray for ourselves but for others. We know that and have been taught it since sunbeams. But there are times when other people need our prayers more than we need them for ourselves.

I am guilty of being selfish in my praying.

I guess its a habit. Its hard sometimes to pray for others when we are hurting too. but just think, all those other people are in need of blessings too, sometimes even more.

I am not a great writer so I hope I at least got the message accross.

Pray for others even if you dont know who you are praying for. Even if it is for no one in particular.

Even if you are hurting, there is probably someone out there hurting just as much if not more.

Today I am going to make a point to be unselfish in my prayers from now on.

How bout you?

And thanks April for this post.

My Baby

2008-08-20T22:32:00.004-04:00

My baby boy turned 8 on monday. yep, he's 8. ( His actual birthday post will come later...too lazy to upload pics right now). He went to cubscouts for the first time at church tonight... I felt a twinge of sadness when i left him with his group. Ya, I had choir practice to go to, but still, I was kind of sad because the baby in him was officially being left behind. He's hangin' with the big boys now. He has waited for this day all year. Ever since we had our "great to be eight" night in January for all the primary kids turning 8 this year. It's all he has talked about for 8 months. He was so proud of himself. When I met him in the hall afterwards his shirt was wet ( they had been playing a game with sponges or something). I asled him why he was wet. He said "this is what we do in cubscouts, MOM!" ok, then...

Its happening. My kids are practically grown. I have a teenager,a preteen and a cubscout. It goes by too too fast.....

Elias and one of his best friends,Cody, at church.

Hula hooping at a church activity.

At the beach.

He loves to cuddle. Even with me. but I know that won't last much longer...

weekend at the cabin-last day before going home

2008-08-19T23:18:00.003-04:00

So we got up super early sunday morning so we could stop at Mount Mitchell on the way home. Not a big thrill for me but Megan loves it and so does chris. We were in our pj's (except for chris).I was sooo tired on the way home. I tried to stay awake but i kept falling asleep. We had fun. We love going to the cabin and will probably be back there in the fall.

weekend at the cabin -part 4

2008-08-19T22:58:00.005-04:00

Chris getting the fire ready to cook hotdogs.

Kids piling up on Grandaddy in the hammok.

The cabin.

The treehouse. Chris and I and the kids slept in the treehouse.I should have taken pics of the inside but I forgot. Its cute and cozy and I wish we could live in it.

weekend at the cabin -part 3

2008-08-19T22:35:00.007-04:00

Me and chris on the swinging bridge.

Chris and the kids on the swinging bridge.

Chris and the kids ( megan ,cousin calin and elias) on the swinging bridge.

Elias and calin at the Rock museum.

Music museum. Just one room but pretty cool very old pianos and organs and stuff.

weekend at the cabin-part two

2008-08-15T16:36:00.004-04:00

The kids love to go gem mining whenever we go to the mountains..so we all went to Emerald Village and got some pretty cool rocks and gems. There is also a music museum there and it was pretty neat. I am not a fan of museums but it was cool to see all the old pianos and organs.

Weekend at the cabin -part one

2008-08-14T18:05:00.008-04:00

The kids' favorite thing to do in the mountains is swimming in the water hole. Chris and his dad took the kids to the water hole and even let Megan swim the deep hole. Here are a few pics.

Megan and Chris looking for water creatures.

Elias standing on a rock.

Elias sitting on a rock.

Megan swimming the deep hole.

Megan after swimming accross the deep hole.

Lazy Day

2008-08-14T10:58:00.003-04:00

It rained all day yesterday. So I gave myself permission to have a Lazy Day. My to do list is never ending anyways so why not put it off one more day, right? I layed on the couch all day and even fell asleep for 3 hours. The kids were good. Thank you dear Television for taking care of my kids while I slept...

I couldn't help it. I feel so tired and sluggish since our little weekend trip. I needed the sleep.

um....

2008-08-12T19:12:00.004-04:00

I had a very clever title in mind for this post. I decided not to use it though in case some may be offended. It wasn't even really very offensive. Gross maybe...

Anyways...

first, let me describe my travelling laundry system. I pack everything as normal in the suitcases. But I bring an extra empty bag for dirty clothes. That way dirty clothes don't get mixed up with the clean and we know when we are running out of stuff to wear and need to do laundry. So, wear the clothes,and when you change, put them in the bag designated for dirty stuff. Very simple even a child can follow. I have used this system for years,as I am sure many parents have as well. I rely on this system to keep the mess contained. It works.

Now I will tell you about the gruesome discovery I made as I was happily unpacking what I thought was a suitcase of nice clean clothes. I reached in the little zip up pocket and pulled out my hubby's underwear. I was putting it in the put away pile when I realized that it was not clean .And I am pretty sure most of his stuff in the suitcase was dirty. Ugly words started swimming around in my head. Because all his nasty toilet germs were crammed into the underwear pocket where my CLEAN underwear also happened to be. He had actually gone to the trouble of folding all his dirty clothes and putting them back in the CLEAN suitcase. NOT in the designated dirty bag. So I ended up washing most of the stuff because I was really not sure what was clean and what was not. Some was obvious, Some was not so obvious and I couldn't quite tell when I sniffed.

Yes, I sniffed.

What!!??

HEY !! I really didn't want to do any laundry that was unecessary.

The kids followed my system and I am happy to report that I was able to unpack their suitcases without sniffing.

Back to the grind.....

2008-08-11T18:06:00.002-04:00

I'm home,exhausted, and trying to catch up. I know I was only gone the weekend but a lot happens around here in a weekend. So, Once I catch up on things around here,I will post some pictures of our weekend. And get back to regular posting....if I can swing it I'll start tonight. We had fun.

She'll be.....

2008-08-07T17:12:00.002-04:00

Comin' around the Mountain when she comes....

Don't cry over my absence.
I'll be back monday.
i'm going to the mountains where it is NOT 100 degrees.

Elias the clown

2008-08-05T23:05:00.003-04:00

Elias is the class clown. He is very very funny. And spontaneous. Which is what makes him so funny. This is what he did today. he walked up behind me,started pushing on my butt and started singing..

"I like big butts and I cannot lie"...

yeah, I do need to lose some weight. Thanks for pointing it out to me though...

Baby Josh

2008-08-05T23:01:00.003-04:00

Chillin'

Smiley face
Sittin'
I wish they would have come out with these Bumbo things when my kids were babies.

cousins

2008-08-05T19:41:00.003-04:00

Forgiveness

2008-07-31T19:05:00.002-04:00

Ok, in one of my posts a long time ago I mentioned someone named "cami" ( not her real name) that I was working with cleaning houses. Well, we had an awful argument one day because I couldn't go to work because I was sick. I was having female health problems. She basically did not believe me and accused me of lying and just not wanting to work. She gossiped about me at the bank in town and the things she said got back to my mother in law(small southern community-you get the picture). My MIL was not happy . She ,to this day ,will not tell me exactly what was said. I was so upset that "cami" would do that to me because I considered us to be good friends. Well, that was shortly after Christmas and I haven't spoken to her since. I was so hurt and had decided that I would never speak to her again and if she ever tried to speak to me I would walk away. That is how bad it hurt me. We are in the same ward so it has been awkward.Until today. We both happened to be at walmart at the same time. She came up to me and for some reason all I could feel was sorrow about the fact that I had cut all ties with her. I do love her. All I could do was think about how I have missed her. She started to apologize about how she left things and something came over me. I stopped her and told her that its ok, and that what happened doesn't matter now. We hugged and talked like nothing had happened.
Holding grudges will only hurt the person holding the grudge. All this time I was so focused on what she had done to me and feeling hurt. I think I forgave her long ago but was too proud to admit it.
Forgiving feels so much better than holding onto hurt feelings. It doesn't matter who was in the wrong. The first and great commandment is Love one another.
Let it go, your heart will be so much lighter.

Future Blogger.

2008-07-31T18:57:00.004-04:00

Only 2 months old and already preparing to take over my blogging empire. My little nephew here ,has potential. Makes me so proud.

Praise to the Blogging world

2008-07-22T20:16:00.003-04:00

I have accidentally discovered an entire new universe. Housewives,Mothers,Stay at Home moms,whatever you want to call them,they're here.
Blogging.
Who knew??
This was a total accident. Here is how it happened. When I rang in the new year with my husband and kids,I made a secret resolution to myself to become better. A better Mom,wife,student,Visiting Teacher,cook,friend..you get the picture. I wanted to reinvent myself. I was depressed,unmotivated,and just down in the dumps all the time. I have gained about 40 pounds in the last year and a half. I can't get pregnant. I live in redneck land far away from all I have been acustomed to.
No offence to rednecks. I do like it here. I just am still not used to it. Anyways, I decided to start by repairing broken relationships with all the friends I knew and loved back in the day. I lost contact for about 14 years. Long story which I will save for another long winded post. I have a myspace page which I hadnt really used except to keep tabs on my fave celebrities(I know,get a life,right?). So I started looking for friends. I didn't really find many people. I did find my good friends brother. He tells me to try facebook. So I do. Everyone I have ever known and loved is on Facebook.
Wow. I found friends that I was sure had disgarded any memory of me,and found they still love me! I reconnected with my best friends,got aquainted with extended family,and made new friends too.I noticed a few people had blogs but never paid much attention at first. One friend of mine mentioned that she uses it as a way of keeping her parents up to date with the grandkids since they live away from each other. I think to myself "what a fab idea!".
So I started a blog. My first post I introduced myself etc because I did know that people that may not know me may see the blog. But I really had no idea. One time I was looking at this one blog and noticed on the sidebar ,links to different blogs.
"Huh????"
See, it took me awhile to navigate the whole blogging process. I'm thinking to myself..."lets check this out". I soon realized that blogging is the new shopping. The new playdate.The new mom group. This is what we all do!!!
My husband is completely oblivious.
He knows I have a blog,he hears me talk about funny posts,recipes and tips,and far away places ,but is really clueless to how big this thing really is. I am in awe. Now, all you gals who have been at this for a long time think I am very lame,I know. But I am so happy to have found this new fun world. I am communicating with real adult moms all over the world who understand me. I am no longer down in the dumps,feeling lonely from being surrounded by only children 16 hours out of the day.I found a pastime that is fun and I have found people I can hang with without leaving my chair and my pajamas. I find new recipes to try that my husband actually considers edible. And parenting....oh, there are other moms out there who understand my pain!! And my joys. I know how to speak in real adult sentences again.I feel motivated to excercise and I am losing weight. Instead of eating,I type. Call me corny but blogging is my therapy. And it is useful. Record keeping is important. And since that was my main purpose for starting this blog, I dont feel guilty for it. Yes, I could be doing laundry or cleaning toilets ( It WILL get done,just not right this second) but I would much rather be here in my chair wearing my pajamas drinking Dr Pepper.
ok, maybe I love blogging a little too much .

He's my Baby

2008-07-22T20:11:00.003-04:00

" What do YOU want!!??" Says Baby Josh

Baby Josh, Daddy Myles and Mommy natasha
Dani,Uncle Josh and Baby Josh

new addition

2008-07-20T19:40:00.006-04:00

We have a "new baby". A little kitten that we rescued from the road. He is teeny tiny and the poor thing was all wounded,starved and almost dead. We gave him a bath,medicated his wounds,unhooked his stuck lip from his tooth,fed him,put him on a heating pad,taught him how to use the litter box, and now he's almost as good as new. And one of the family. We haven't named him yet.

We are known around the community as the cat family. We have a bunch of cats. they are outside cats,except for 2,for the record. And of course the new rescue until he is completely healed. The babies that were born about a week ago will be outsiders too as soon as they can walk and open their eyes,and eat from a bowl instead of from a nipple. Of course,they all like to come inside once in awhile because they all love to cuddle. They love the company,and their fuzzy blankets,and their teddy bears.

Neighborhood animals and strays gravitate towards our house. I guess the word on the street is "go to that house,they have food,they will save you" or something. It never fails.Lost animals,wounded little friends,they all show up. Dogs,cats....raccoons even spy on us.We don't mind. We love animals. My husband should have been a veterinarian. He will pull over on the road to rescue turtles. We have been a temporary stop to many a turtle. We are the unofficial animal sanctuary/rescue people of the neighborhood.

Sick today

2008-07-20T18:07:00.002-04:00

I am sick today. I almost stayed home from church. Buts it's a good thing I didn't. I am the assistant ward pianist in my ward. Which means if the pianist isn't there I play. We also have an organist,who is there most of the time. Usually the organist plays one or 2 songs and the pianist plays the others. I know, most wards just have an organist but our ward is very large and a lot of people have more than one calling. So it helps to have someone share the load when you have other callings to tend to as well. Anyways, I knew our organist was going to be away today. Our pianist was away last week so I was not sure if she would be back today. But nobody had called me. So I figure I didn't have to worry about it. oooooo.....how wrong I was!!! I had this feeling of panic on saturday that I should practice the songs in case I had to play. Good thing I did. We left for church early just in case my gut feeling was right. Good thing because neither if them were there and I ended up having to play. I am also the primary pianist and the choir pianist. So then I had 2 more hours of primary piano playing to do. Its a good thing I went today because if I hadn't there would have been nobody to fill in for me either. ( if I am not there the organist fills in for me in primary). There are tons in our ward who play but they are either unwilling or busy with other callings. So, thanks to me following the promptings of the spirit,crisis averted. That is my spiritual thought for today.

Megan the artist

2008-07-16T22:26:00.003-04:00

Megan drew this a few years ago. I put it in my "special" drawer and finally got around to putting it in a frame. I decided to hang it between the windows in the kitchen since there was naked space there.

"mom,take my picture!!!"

2008-07-16T22:16:00.002-04:00

I love Baby Josh

2008-07-16T22:04:00.002-04:00

Look at this face.He is so cute.
And even cuter when he smiles.
Joshua and Daddy,my brother Myles.
Sleeping after a long day at the pool.
Cute family,don't ya think?

pavlov's dog

2008-07-14T19:36:00.002-04:00

Well, more like me, and walmart.
ok, first I need to back track to about 4 years ago. I was sick that day,had just dropped my kids off at school and my moms. I was debating on wether or not I needed to go to work. I finally decided to stay home. So on my way home I figured I would stop at walmart since it was on the way and there was a few things I really needed. I really did not feel well. I was sick to my stomach, i had cramps,and my head hurt. my stomach started to really really hurt bad. I figured I had some gas coming on,and just went about my business. Since I was in Walmart,might as well browse,right? I ended up with some bad gas, but figured I was ok since that particular walmart was not very busy at 8am.
now, lets just say that what I assumed to be gas was not.
I found this out because I had to pee,so I went to the bathroom.
What I thought was gas was actually diarrea. Oh...no.
I didnt know what to do. I lived close enough to my moms(the school was right accross the road from my moms) that to take the kids over I would just hop on the bus and then walk home. Like on this day,except I stopped at walmart. So you see I had a dilemma. DO I take the bus? People might smell me. Do I call a cab? The cab diver would definitely smell me. Walk home? not too far,and nobody would smell me. But I may get more "gas" on the way home. hmmm. I ended up walking. I of course paid for my purchases,hoping and praying and begging the Lord that no one would smell me while i was checking out. Got home and was so embarrassed that it was awhile before I went to that walmart again.

ok, so the reason for this backtrack,is that everytime I have gone to walmart since then, I end up having to use the bathroom.
This has caused chris to nickname me "stinky".

On friday night Chris's parents took us out to eat,then they took the kids home with them and Chris and I went to Walmart. We were browsing the toys when all of a sudden my stomach hurt. Like it did that one time.
I ended up with bad gas. that is when I had total flashback of that first bad gas day in walmart. So I gave Chris the cart and ran to the bathroom. Of course,the bathroom was ALL THE WAY ACCROSS THE STORE. And we were in the BIG supercenter walmart. It was a looonnnng walk. I made it just in time. It never fails to find me in Walmart. Never at target,never at the dollar store,Goody's or Food Lion. Walmart. It was terrible. And I hate using public bathrooms. Because they are never clean. Oh, it was awful. I dont know how long I was in there,but I was praying that no one who saw me come out saw me going in. Because the bathrooms are right in front of the checkout counters. Chris ended up coming to look for me,wondering what was going on. I may find a new place to shop. Target sounds good.

my new nephew

2008-07-10T19:02:00.002-04:00

JOSHUA.Born may 18th 2008. I love him to pieces even though I live far away and haven't officially met him yet. He is so completely adorable.

new additions

2008-07-10T18:52:00.002-04:00

In a post a couple of months ago, I did a rundown of all our cats,how they are related,etc. Well, Grey just had a litter of 5 more. In the kids' closet.I would have had her spayed but she left NO time between her first litter and this one. I am so upset about this because I really want to get rid of all the cats.Megan is very attached to all of them and so is Chris. They won't part with them. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

snaggletooth

2008-07-07T17:01:00.002-04:00

Elias is now missing his 2 front teeth. Grandma Peggy calls him snaggletooth.

cats being cute

2008-07-01T23:22:00.014-04:00

She's hoping for some beefaroni.She ended up getting some,too, since daddy spoils her.Her name is sweet girl and she is chris's favorite. Every morning when he gets home from work she sits on his lap and goes to sleep.

The cats love this fuzzy blanket of Megans.

Panther asleep with Elias in the middle of the afternoon.

Ok, in the above picture the kittens are trying to nurse. Off of Booboo. Booboo is a boy. he's their great uncle. He just layed there with a trance look on his face while they were trying to suck milk out of him.

The kittens love to snuggle.

they love their stuffed toys.

Just hangin out in a dish.

Fascinated by the blind cord.

Chillaxin.

Best friends.

Our cats are like our babies so I can't leave them out of the updates. Here are some of them being cute.

summertime goodtime

2008-07-01T23:02:00.007-04:00

This is what we have been doing since school got out for the summer. My in-laws have a pool, which is great because it gives the kids something to do and I can actually sit and relax for a bit. Elias picked out this lobster floatie at walmart the other day. I nearly passed out blowing the dang thing up. Fun times.

hot day

2008-06-18T20:58:00.007-04:00

The day these pics were taken ( june 7th)was HOT. The heat index I believe was 110. And the kids spent the entire afternoon outside. I did not.

It was cousin Caras 3rd Birthday party so I guess their mind was on cake,not how hot it was.

Fathers day birthday

2008-06-16T21:36:00.006-04:00

June 15th is my birthday and this year it happened to fall on fathers day. I told my husband no party. I told my mother in law no party. They almost kept their promise.

See, 3 years ago on my birthday I said the same thing. And my husband and mother in law threw me a surprise party. I was totally shocked and thought we were going out to eat. In fact, I was getting annoyed at my husband because I was ready to go and he was sitting at the computer like we had all the time in the world. Finally he got up and we took the kids accross the road to his parents house. At least that is what I thought we were doing. We get there and nobody is in the house. So we go to the "shop"(a garage that is also renovated into a little lounging room). I notice the cars and wonder why so many people are here. We go in and everyone yells surprise.

The next year,it happened pretty much exactly the same. I said no party. Because I am a grown up and just want to relax on my big day,not party. So we planned to go out to eat. So I thought. So this time, chris says he needs to stop at the shop because his dad wants him to fix something. I said ok, I'll wait in the car. He says to come in. So I go in and everyone yells surprise. I was totally surprised because I did not think he would actually throw a surprise party 2 years in a row. Kind of tacky. But yep, there they were. And he even left work early that day, drove to his parents house,hid the truck in their backyard ,and baked my birthday cake. And decorated it.And it was the most delicious cake ever. Really, it was so good.

So this year, the entire family went over to chris's parents house to eat fathers day dinner after church. I was on guard because I thought chris was being just a bit too nice. Sure enough, after dinner,my mother in law tells chris to go help her get the ice cream from the shop. I think to myself "help her get ice cream?? Just how much ice cream is there??"they came back with a birthday cake.

After dinner and cake, cousins calin and cara came over to play. All in all, it was a pretty good day.

Oh, and speaking of church, the primary kids sang in sacrament meeting. They sang 3 songs, and on the first song(I know a name,a glorious name...) they accidentally sang "mother so tender and kind and true" instead of "father so noble and brave and true". But it was good.

And in primary,Joy got all the kids to sing to me. I am the pianist in primary and the only birthday this week so I was made to stand up in front of all the kids and they sang accapella (is that how you spell it??). And they all shouted WOO HOO after. Very nice,very nice. And they gave me 3 chocolate bars. I love all those kids.

weekend "campout"

2008-06-11T21:48:00.005-04:00

When my kids were teeny tiny I started a little ritual of having "friday night campouts" in the living room. I was a single mother and even though I was able to get the bills paid, I didn't have a whole lot left for fun stuff. I couldn't afford vacations,or the circus and stuff like that. So I wanted them to have some fun. My oldest is 12 and the ritual still sticks today(even though we can afford a little more now). Every friday without fail, they are excited to sleep in the living room. We eat popcorn,watch movies and sometimes play Cadoo(fun game).Even if friends or cousins are sleeping over. Nothing gets in the way of their "friday night campouts". This week we had a "campout" on sunday night since they had a cousin over,and it's summer,so we didn't have to get up for school the next day.

summer=kids home=stress

2008-06-11T21:33:00.003-04:00

Kids are out of school for the summer. On their last day of school I was at work and a wave of stress washed over me when I realized...I don't have a thing for them to do besides watch tv and play video games. And read. So on the way home I stopped at the Family Dollar store and bought a BUNCH of arts and crafts supplies. Megan is a natural crafter and has a bunch of craft odds and ends. So with her odds and ends and my dollar store purchases we should be ok. For about a week.
I bought them these composition books with hopes of playing teacher this summer and making them do a bit of work each day. You know, 15 minutes of reading and a bit of writing. They decorated their books the way they liked (megans idea-I never would have thought of decorating the books!)
Megan made this little "boat" for chris for fathers day.
And she did this lovely painting on popsicle sticks. She has a lot of creativity in her. I think it turned out great.
We'll see how we do the rest of the week.

fun

2008-06-08T19:48:00.003-04:00

They used to be called "stackers", now they are called "stickers". I bought 3 boxes the other day. Big hit with the kids. Cousin Calin is sleeping over tonight. As you can see by the picture, they partied hard this afternoon.

Long Road to Kansas

2008-06-06T18:56:00.003-04:00

It was the summer of 1988. Before cell phones,before the internet,before hybrid cars,before super cool comfy family fitting SUV's. I was 12. The oldest of 4 and as a preteen mad at the world.

My father decided that we were going to drive to kansas for the family reunion. Our family,my Uncle and his boys,my Aunt and her kids and my Grandmother who always had a chip on her shoulder and was always yelling at someone for something someone had done. We would be gone for 2 weeks and all travel together. In seperate cars,but together.So, we packed, and my family loaded ourselves into the clunky old brown humungus station wagon and hit the road for Kansas. From Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. A very long drive. My parents in the front seat,my sister and I in the back and my 2 brothers in the big back part where all our piles of luggage and blankets were jammed roof high. It was crowded. With no air conditioning.

There were concerns as we came closer to the border because my Uncle is a Communist (yes,for real) and there were worries that they would not let him cross. (The FBI has a file on him).He didn't tell them and they didn't ask and didn't look at his ID ( oh, those were the days..) so he crossed. For the record, Communism is not part of my family and we don't support it. My Uncle just wanted to be different.

I still wonder what the officers at the border thought of our jam packed station wagon. Even back then we were quite the sight when we set out on family trips.

My Father always wanted to be prepared for anything on family trips. He brought a little porta potty. Yes, a porta potty. That we were forced to use because there was no way my Dad was stopping the car everytime someone had to go. Imagine a 12 year old girl in the car with her family trying to squeeze herself into the back of the car to pee in a porta potty in front of everyone with the car moving.And no air conditioning. We did not have tinted windows.

Then there was the water jug. Not just any water jug. This jug could hold about 10 gallons of water. We were not allowed to stop for store bought drinks. My job ,as the oldest ,was to keep the water cold. Here is how it was done. When my Dad would stop for gas he would buy a bag of ice to keep in the cooler which was also placed in the back of the station wagon with all our stuff,the porta potty and my brothers. But right behind my head of course so I could have "easy" access to keep ice in the jug.He would fill the jug almost full( leave room for ice of course) from watever tap or hose was available at the gas station. SO, the water usually came from the nasty taps in the gas station bathrooms. Yuck. I had to keep the jug on the floor where my feet were supposed to go becasue there was no room anywhere else. I had to keep it shaded and as we were driving, drop the ice into the jug a bit at a time to keep it cool.

During one stretch between gas stations, my youngest brother got the poops. The runny kind. He was little and hadn't really mastered the art of holding it long enough to get to the toilet( in this case,porta potty). He had already peed most of his clothes so he was naked in case he needed clothes later on. So nobody discovered he had the poops until I went to the back to lay down. Not that there was any room,... but my legs were cramped and I needed to stretch. I found a comfy blanket and managed to maneuver everything so I could semi lay down. I layed on the blanket not knowing until it was too late that the blanket was full of runny poop. And upon looking at my naked brother,who just sat there with a blank look on his face,I realized ha was also covered in poop.I think I was able to change my clothes.And being the oldest ,I had the priviledge of cleaning up the runny poop.And my poopy brother.While the car was moving. ( my Mother needed to enjoy her vacation,said my dad).We drove to kansas with a stinky poopy blanket in the hot crowded car.And a porta potty that was getting stinkier.With no air conditioning.

The porta potty was getting full during one stretch between gas stations(my job, as the oldest, was also to dump and clean the porta potty,because my Mother needed to enjoy her vacation)so my Dad had a grand idea...get ready...if the boys had to pee, they had to do it in a big soda bottle. No, we didnt get to stop for store bought drinks. My Dad had brought these empty bottles from home to use as water bottles. So we drove FOREVER with a stinky poopy blanket,a full porta potty,naked little boy and a soda bottle full of pee.Not to mention, my little brothers hadn't mastered the art of pee IN the bottle.Again, no air conditioning.

We stopped to eat one time. We never had alot of money to eat out so this was a big deal for us. We found a nice little place to eat. We walk in and see that yes, it is nice. Very nice. We looked like hobos and thanks to the porta potty,poop blanket and pee bottles probably smelled a bit rank too. ( my little brother was wearing clothes by this time)And we were sweaty because it was so friggin hot and our car did not have air conditioning. We took our seats and my brothers proceeded to act like they had never been taught manners. They ran around,they belched,they farted,they threw things. When the waitress came to take our order my little brother asked for just a plate of bacon. We ate as fast as we could and got the heck out of there.

We made it to Kansas and got settled. As we went on a tour of my great uncles' (who did not believe in wearing underwear,but wore very loose shorts)farm, we noticed a field of marijuana. It grew wild. It was taller than corn.It was against the law for my uncle to cut it. It grew wild so there was nothing he could really do about it but leave it alone.My Great Uncle drove through the weed with all of us in the bed of the truck.My cousin kept picking it and my grandmother had a fit because number one,she was worried my uncle would be arrested because the weed was tampered with,and number two she was convinced that my cousin was now a dope head juvenile delinquent.

One of my other cousins and my sister caught a bunch of frogs and had a big fight over who had more frogs and whose frogs were whose. My Great Aunt then insulted my sister ( I can't remember exactly what she said).This sparked a family feud between my Aunt and my Mother and of course everyone had to get their two sense in on the matter.

My cousin drove an ATV off of a huge cliff and we all thought he would die when he hit the ground but he ended up to be fine.

My cousin got stung by a hornet and used the F word which sparked more contraversy than ever because who in the world knows the F word at that age??(said the older folks)

The drive home was pretty much the same as the drive there. After we crossed the border back into Canada, my mom opened the glove box and noticed the pile of weed my cousin had picked.

My Communist Uncle made it safely home without being arrested at the border.
The poop blanket stayed clean on the ride home.
My brothers learned to pee in the bottle without peeing on me.
My brother was wearing clothes.
And we didn't die of thirst because I had managed to keep the water cool.

My Dad never brought the porta potty on any more vacations.
On future road trips we were allowed to stop for store bought drinks.
My cousin never did become a dope head delinquent.
The family feud about the frogs lasted a decade.
The weed is still growing in the field in kjansas.
I'm pretty sure my cousin still says the F word.
I turned out pretty normal and so did my sister and brothers.
My parents added 3 more kids to the mix.And bought a van which ended up being crushed by a crane right in our driveway in the middle of the night. .....But that's another story.

scribbit write- away contest

why....

2008-06-03T21:13:00.002-04:00

Why oh why do I torture myself?? Because, to tell you the truth, I want some new shoes. I don't need them, I just want them. I have to work to support my shoe addiction. It's true. And it's ok, I don't mind. As long as I can have shoes. Thats how I felt before going down the road to Miss Gigis house this morning. Go ahead,ask me how I feel now...

I cleaned miss Gigi's house today. I know I said that after the last mop and glow fiasco that I would never go back. But I did. And there was yet another mop and glow fiasco today and I think maybe she actually might be mad at me now. I thought maybe she would be mad enough to never call me again but on my way out she said she would call me next month. Dang it.

Here is what happened. If you don't care,you don't have to read it. This is mostly for venting purposes anyways so I won't be offended if the world is too bored by my story to care.

Everything was fine at first. I cleaned her kitchen,2 bathrooms,vacumed and went to get started on her screen porch. The floor I hate. The tile that she obsesses over. She started fussing at me about how I ruined the floor last time and I explained once again the instructions on the bottle. She still insisted that it was something I had done. I explained that the white stuff on the tile was the mop and glow and it was like that because doing it her way is not the proper way. She insisted that I still do it her way and I said "ok, but I will not come back to fix it if it is sticky again". After a short argument (which I have blocked from my memory) she says "ok, just put the rugs back down and forget about the floor". Thank Goodness. I got out of there as fast as I could and I am serious this time. I am not going back.

FHE

2008-06-02T21:55:00.002-04:00

I failed. I failed to provide a spiritually uplifting educational fun with family at home evening for my kids today. See, awhile back, I put the kabosh on movies for FHE. Nobody could ever agree on what to watch.We tried taking turns but that turned into more bickering because so and so did not like the movie that so and so picked,etc. So I eliminated the source of contention. Tonight I decided that ,since I have been busy all day and too tired to plan a real lesson, I would let the kids watch a movie. It took 3 hours to make it through a movie that is supposed to last for just over an hour and half. So and so did not like the movie that so and so wanted to watch(Alvin and the Chipmunks) so therefore so and so started crying. I told so and so to help us decide because the new rule that I came up with tonight on movies for FHE is that everyone must agree. Right. Well, FHE nearly comes to an end when I start yelling about how greedy everyone is acting and that we are just going to forget the whole thing and and not have FHE this week because i am sick of the arguing. I tell everyone that if you can't be nice we are all going to bed RIGHT NOW.So...so and so decides to go to bed instead. Fine, its bedtime anyways because we have spent an hour arguing and could have been finished by now,had I planned a real lesson like I am supposed to. Chris works nights right now so he got to miss the blow out. Lucky man. So we start watching ALvin and the Chipmunks and about half way through so and so deceides to join us after all. He just remembered that this is his favorite movie.. I am exhausted.

HOT

2008-06-02T21:24:00.003-04:00

Ok. So ,yesterday afternoon it was extremely hot outside.It was about 90 degrees I think. Needless to say, we had the air conditioner on. I woke Chris up at about 5pm so he could get ready for work. When he got, up he asked why it was so hot in the house. I had not noticed,I was tired from church and had my traditional Sunday afternoon headache.We looked at the atomic clock in the kitchen(which displays the in house temperature) and it said 78 degrees. It eventually climbed to 80,almost 81.

Hmm.

Chris went outside to check it out and noticed the fan was not turning.
Oh no.
Sunday evening.
Hot.
nobody to come fix it.
Because it is Sunday.
So, Chris went to work and the kids and I nearly sweated to death in our oven house all night. I had fans blowing on us ,which helped a lot as long as we just stayed still.What a night. And to top that off, it was thunder storming. Which means it was even worse because of the humidity.It was a nightmare. I barely slept a wink because all I could think about was all the stuff I have heard on the news over the years about people dying from heat.
I am from Canada.
Saskatchewan, Canada, where it is cold.
It does not get hot and humid like here.
So, I was afraid last night. I kept checking on the kids to make sure they were alive. I know, I am a paranoid mom. I got up at 530 when it was finally starting to get a bit cooler outside. I opened all the windows ,which cooled things off a bit. The atomic clock read 77 degrees after a couple of hours. Which,does not seem like that big a difference because it is only 3 degrees. But when you are that hot, it makes a big diff!! Well, this morning Chris was finally able to reach a friend of ours who happens to be in the heating and air business. He and Chris were able to figure out over the phone what was wrong with it. Then we had to find the part. Luckily, a guy Chris works with is the expert on where to buy top notch parts for a great price. We got the part for 6 dollars. Yes, 6 dollars! everywhere else charges between 40 and 70 dollars for this part. It's because of where they work that they were able to get it so cheap,so we are very happy. It is hot again today but cool in the house because Chris fixed it!!!
My husband can fix anything.

kitty dress up

2008-05-31T13:11:00.004-04:00

One of the kittens had the privilege of modelling doll clothes the other day.

Sunday best

2008-05-31T13:08:00.004-04:00

I got a hand me down suit for ELias from my sister in law. He reluctantly wore it to church last sunday.He is so handsome.So cute.

I have smart kids

2008-05-31T12:50:00.008-04:00

Our school had awards days this past week since the school year is almost over (5 more days). Megan got a math award. She also scored a 4 in math on the EOG (end of grade) testing.This is the highest score possible. We are very proud of her. She has learning disabilities so this is a huge accomplishment for her.She worked very hard this year!!

Elias was awarded a medal for academic acheivement. He is a star student and very very smart!

His awards were for high academic average and excellence in reading. He was reading at a 3rd grade level at the beginning of this year (he is about to finish 2nd grade).Very well done,Elias!

He wants to be a baseball player and a policeman when he grows up.

check this boy out!!

2008-05-30T12:58:00.003-04:00

His name is Troy Smith and I went to high school with him. He has a cd out called O My Soul. It's great.Very spiritually uplifting music,I love it.If I had a pic I would post it and as soon as I do I will.Until then,check out his website!

Bestest music ever

2008-05-24T15:13:00.004-04:00

I have a very good friend named Sara Lyn Baril. I went to church with her. I went to high school with her. I lived with her and her family.We followed boys,we practiced dancing in our room...well,sara did,I watched and laughed until I cried. We ran around the block late at night in our pajamas,we had good times. Oh, thoses were the days.

And now I am proud to say that Sara has made quite the name for herself in the LDS music industry. I always knew it would happen. She is a piano playing wiz. Check her out at http://www.saralynbaril.com/. Buy her music.It is beautiful and it is money well spent. I love it.

Dreams really do come true

2008-05-24T13:33:00.010-04:00

My parents gave the kids money for Christmas. Nephi is with his Dad and spent his on computer stuff. Megan and Elias have been harrassing me for years to take them to the build-a-bear workshop. So we decided to stop there while we were in the mountains over Easter break.It was 2 months ago but I just haven't had the motivation to upload the pictures until now. So here they are. They are in love with their bears. Oh,and buying clothes for these bears is like buying clothes for a child because they cost just as much.Crazziness.So thanks,parents, because I never would have spent(my own) money like this.

Chris's parents have a cabin in the mountains is Burnsville. It's great to go there,very relaxing and the air is so fresh. My father in law build a treehouse on the hill beside the cabin. It is a real treehouse.You can eat,sleep,watch tv,use the bathroom,everything. Its such a cute little house.It has a bedroom and toilet upstairs,and downstairs is a little kitchen and living room area and bathroom. You have to climb ALOT of stairs to get to the treehouse but I would totally live in it. He built this treehouse with his own hands. Chris and a couple of friends helped but he moslty did it all himself. The picture shown here is the treehouse. I don't have a pic of the cabin to post yet. It's not as cute as the treehouse. And I dont have any of the inside yet. I didn't think to take pictures of the inside,so I will do that next time.

Fashionista Megan

2008-05-24T13:28:00.005-04:00

Megan is notorious for her love of fashion,accessories ,purses,cats,and long fingernails.

She is 11.

She LOVES cats.

She got these fake fingernails for Christmas. They have cats on them.

ummmm...

2008-05-20T11:48:00.005-04:00

"This is how I play with my new cat toy"

Toothless wonder

2008-05-19T14:17:00.002-04:00

Here is my baby,Elias, he is so handsome.....and toothless!!! Hopefully some grow in before he loses more!!

MUST read

2008-05-19T14:07:00.006-04:00

This author is the best. You must read ALL of her books. I have read every one and they are SPLENDID. Jennifer....you need to write more books!!!!!! I need something to read!!!

GRRRRRRR

2008-05-05T11:14:00.003-04:00

OK, so I clean houses for extra money. Not the best job,and I don't look forward to it. Ever.
Once a month I clean for an elderly lady down the road. We will call her "Miss Gigi".Not her real name, but you know,protect privacy. Last wednesday was the day to clean her house. I went, I cleaned,I made my 50 dollars. No, that's not ALL I charge.
See, she was my very first client ever. An aquaintance of mine who also cleans houses( former friend,we'll get to that another time) had given her a quote of 100.00 each time she cleans. Miss Gigi said no way, too high,blah blah blah. So My aquaintance,who we will call "Cami "gives her my number because she knows I am looking to make some extra money. Ok, so I go to her house,take a look around at her SPOTLESS house. I think ok, it won't be too bad at all. And being poor and as desperate as our situation was at the time, I needed to bring in SOME money. And she lives just down the road so no gas cost,ok. Fifty dollars. Easy money.ok, back to my story.
SO I go clean her house last week which really is easy money most of the time. She wants me to come back the next day and mop her entry way floor and she says she will pay me 25.00.ok,sure. So I show up the next morning to do the floor. Not only did I do the floor but I took out the windows on her storm doors and cleaned them,scrubbed the baseboards,flipped the cushions on her wicker furniture,washed her wicker furniture and taped the bottoms of the legs of the wicker furniture so the wicker wont unravel anymore-taped with scotch tape. She insists that this is the best holding tape.ok,fine. You'll see,miss Gigi, that scotch tape won't hold the wicker and next time I will be taping yet AGAIN(the taping of the wicker is a regular occurrence) the legs of the wicker furniture. Now on to the floor. She tells me to first wash the floor with water and dish soap. Thats how she does it and its the only way she says.So I do it. I wait for the floor to dry,and she decides she wants mop and glow on the floor. Now, I have been cleaning for her for a year now, and I have repeatedly read her the instructions on the back of the mop and glow bottle. It clearly states, squirt the soap on the floor and mop with a wet mop. Thats it. but I had already mopped with the dish soap ,as she instructed,which is going to make the floor sticky after the mop and glow goes on.Told her this before too.but she still wants a "good coat" of mop and glow on that floor. So I do it. And since she can't do anything for herself,because she is old, I have to wait for the floor to dry so I can put the rugs back down. I started at 8am and by now it is 10. I waited 45 minutes for the floor to dry and put the rugs back. Then I go home. I was there at her house for 3 hours. I made 25.00. I go home and go about my business. Then she calls. I knew it, I knew what it was about. I didn't answer the phone. All 3 times she called I ignored the calls. Because I was frustrated. Later that night I checked the voice mail and all she says in her stern voice is "CHANTAL...this is Miss Gigi. Call me please." When she yells my name I know it's not good. So the next morning I call her and she YELLS at me over the phone about the floor being sticky. She says I did a terrible job on the floor and that it was awful. She says she will let it go this time but next time I better fix it. Then she goes on about how well she pays me. I tell her that I usually charge more,etc,etc,and she has the nerve to still yet all me about how she paid me so well for only actually working for an hour and a half.I was there for 3 hours.Most of the time was spent waiting for the floor to dry,but I was there 3 hours.I finally stood up to her and told her no, she doesn't pay good. I don't charge everyone only 50 dollars. I was being nice to her. All she has done for the past year is complain about how 50 dollars is too much.I do all kinds of extra heavy cleaning that I normally wouldn't do.Well, I have decided that 50.00 is not enough to put up with her. I have decided to not go back.

LOVE my cats

2008-05-05T10:49:00.001-04:00

it's ok to take a nap....right?

2008-04-28T21:27:00.002-04:00

Sometimes while all the kids are at school I sleep. A lot. Like 4 hours alot. Sometimes...not everyday.

I enjoy the peace,the quiet...I have my best sleeps in the day time. So I can't help it. Sometimes I just need it. I took a nap today. The laundry can be folded later..

Tax Rebate

2008-04-28T21:08:00.002-04:00

Tax Rebate. They set it in place to boost the economy. A little extra money for everyone in America,tax free, etc.Extra money. Given to us.To spend. To give the economy a little boost.When it first started they said everyone was getting one. 600.00 per adult and 300 per child. Sounds good to me. "We filed taxes" I thought to myself,so that means we will get 1800.00. Good. I even said to my husband " you know, it seems too good to be true..there has to be a catch". A few months later...the catch. It started with the income. Only certain income brackets would get the full amount, etc etc. ok, not so bad. Then we get a little card in the mail. Oh no..no. no. We are not getting the rebate. No 1800.00 for a new HDTV and king size bed. I am still hoping that we will fall into some special little loophole that will allow us to get it. But I doubt it. Here is the catch. Only US citizens get the rebate. Me and the kids are not citizens. Apparently greencards and visas and Tax id numbers don't count. So, in other words, the US Government is more than happy to take my tax dollars but won't let me have a rebate. I live here. I pay taxes here. I work here. My husband is American. He is full blood American born. And he doesn't get the rebate. Because of me. The rules are both spouses have to have a social security number. If one of them doesn't, neither if them get it. I think My husband should at least get it.Thanks, President Bush.

Random babble

2008-04-21T21:07:00.001-04:00

I feel like I cant keep up lately. To anything. Kids, school,church callings, housework,bills,cats,kittens,yardwork,etc etc. I do make a schedule, I make a to do list every day. I never get it all done. I started this blog hoping to... I dont know, every one else has one, so....
And plus. It is a great way to keep up with my life. I have always kept a journal but lately have not been so good at keeping up.SO here I am.

The other day megan tells me on wednesday after school that she has this huge project due thursday. She had known about it for a week I think. She had a church activity that night which she probably should have missed but I had to be at the church also to play the piano for choir practice and Chris was working so I took the kids to the church. Besides, If megan had misssed her activity she would have mised out on the treat the following activity. Wouldn't want that. So, at 10 pm her project was finally done, and hopefully she was asleep by 11. If you know Megan, you know how the next day went. Enough said.

We have 2 litters of kittens in our house right now. It all started with Mocha. Our sweet silly Mocha,our first family pet. Siamese cat. That was fine, just one cat.Then we found a stray, who was so sweet to me, but mean to everyone else. We kept her, and named her Belle. She was my special cat. Made me feel good. She loved me unconditionally,gave me hugs,let me rub her tummy. Then she got run over one day. I cried all day. Then that summer some stray neighborhood runaway cat decided to have kittens in my inlaws back yard.We tried to ignore them. And we did. We even called the animal people to come and get them and take them away. They came. I think they caught one by the neck-with a pole with picker upper claws on the end. broke my heart. Then they set this totally inhumane trap for the others and said to call them when they were caught. We were so broken hearted that we rigged the trap so that it would not trap them. And we took one home. Then the rest followed. We kept the others outside and just let the one little fluffy orange one in the house. There we were content with the 2 cats. Then it started raining. A lot. So we would let the other kittens come in during the rainy nights. We put them in the bathtub,with a bed,bowl of water and food. They loved the bath tub. they loved the rain, because they knew that it would be time to come in and go in the bath tub. Well, one day they came in and never went back out.Just once in awhile to play. So then we had Mocha,boo boo( fluffy orange guy),halloween,and flash. Flash mysteriously disappearred one day when she was outside playing. Halloween and booboo grew up in our house. Then Halloweeen reached that age....the age of sexual maturity. Mocha was already that age. Oh, why didnt we get them fixed? We were stupid. And broke. So Halloween got pregnant. Then along came christmas,skippy,grey, and tigger.. They grew up in our house. SO then we had Mocha,boo boo,halloween, christmas,skippy,grey and tigger. Halloween never came home one day and same with skippy. Grey and christmas got to that age.....boo boo is that daddy we think since they rarely left our house. Oh, by this time Mocha was only an outside guy. He was ready. So grey and christmas ended up pregnant at the same time.So now we have......Booboo,Tigger,christmas,grey,panther,garfield,sweet girl,shy boy,pip,and popcorn. Popcorn is siamese so we are thinking Mocha is still out there. Or it could simply be genes. Because if you have been following along you know they are all related. Except Belle who was run over earlier on. SO we have 10 cats. Somebody take our cats. They are cute,and cuddly and so funny but we are seriously out numbered. We should have had Mocha fixed. But we were broke. Oh, we did get booboo fixed after he got the girls pregnant.

me...

2008-04-10T15:56:00.002-04:00

Since this is my first "blog" entry I will start by introducing myself and my family. I am Chantal, my husband is Chris and my kids are Nephi,Megan and Elias. We live in North Carolina. We live on a farm but we don't have any animals ....yet,except for a bunch of cats. And Nephi has birds but they don't live with us. Nephi and his birds are staying with his dad (in Canada)during the school year. We will see him in the summer. Long wait,but it's what Nephi wanted to do. I stay at home and clean houses.And I love to scrapbook. ok well, here are some pics of me and Chris. I love my husband so much. He is my best friend. He is kind and sweet and smart and can fix anything. He can build anything too. He is a bit shy like me. And he is very very goodlooking.If he sees this written in my blog,he will be embarrassed and make me delete it. SO if you are reading this,he has not yet...